#47: Red Eye / ep.1
Tuesday, at Meiji Stationery.
In a small meeting room, perhaps six tatami mats in size, reserved for the regular meeting of the next flagship-product development project, Rinko watched Mikoto, the project’s manager.
“…So that is why I think we should make the second new product a combination of pencils and aroma.”
Put simply, the second proposal was potpourri made from pencil shavings.
At Meiji Stationery, pencil shavings were industrial waste as common as air or water. Until now, their only practical use had been to compact them in bulk into wooden boards. The idea was to add value hundreds of times greater than their raw unit price.
“Oh, I like that. More than anything, I like that the cost price is almost nothing. What do you think, Rinko?”
“Eh, me?”
Shiina calling her name pulled Rinko back into the meeting. None of its content had entered her mind. She looked between Mikoto’s face and the presentation materials on the screen.
“Were you not listening? Rinko was the one who gave Kurosu the aroma idea.”
“Oh, sorry. I was daydreaming. Um, I think it is good, Kurosu-san.”
“I see. I’m glad.”
Mikoto smiled. But Rinko did not think it was a smile of genuine happiness. It seemed somehow dark, clouded.
Thinking back, Mikoto had been strange since the day before, Monday. She would check her phone from time to time, then put it away without touching it. She usually glanced repeatedly at the office clock and rushed out as soon as the workday ended, yet yesterday she had unusually continued working late.
More than anything, she smelled different. There had once been a faintly cat-like scent about her, the scent Rinko hated. Now there was nothing. It was the way Mikoto had been before she began going to that bar, back when Rinko had sworn to protect her so that she would not be hurt by Rinko’s confession.
“Then I will handle the suppliers for what we need, and develop the sales channels. Can you send me the full set of materials?”
“I’ll send them. I’m counting on you, Shiina.”
“Leave it to me.”
With that, Shiina left the meeting room in high spirits. Mikoto remained behind to tidy up, her profile still shadowed.
Rinko made up her mind to ask.
“Something happened, didn’t it?”
“What do you mean, something?”
Without looking at her, Mikoto kept tidying. Rinko could see at once that she was only pretending to be fine.
“With that woman… Shandy.”
Mikoto stopped moving for a moment.
“Nothing happened.”
“Do not lie. I can tell. You smell different, Kurosu-san.”
“Perhaps the smell of the new aroma product got onto me.”
“There is no smell of alcohol or cat. And no orange smell, either, the one I hate.”
“I changed shampoo.”
“Why?”
“Just felt like it.”
“And the cat?”
“It died.”
“Liar. You cannot keep a cat where you live.”
“I was keeping one without telling the landlord.”
“That is a lie too.”
“It’s true.”
“Then explain this.”
Rinko hesitated for a moment, wondering whether to produce it. Then she held out the form that had still not been processed, directly before Mikoto.
“This is an address-change notification in the employee records. But you cancelled it yesterday. Why?”
“…”
“Tell me. Who lives in Kyodo, Setagaya, where you were going to move?”
Mikoto did not reply. Her face remained dark, yet she continued tidying, trying to leave the meeting room. Rinko could not stand it.
She stood. Then, so Mikoto could not escape until she was ready to tell the truth, Rinko embraced her from behind.
“I know. You were going to live with Shandy, weren’t you?”
“That isn’t…”
“It is. Sorry I kept quiet, but Kotone told me everything…”
“…That idiot.”
“The idiot is you, Kurosu-san. You thought I would not notice if you put the ring on and took it off.”
The platinum ring that had appeared on Mikoto’s ring finger was gone as of Monday. Mikoto had said nothing when she put it on, and nothing when she removed it. Had she thought Rinko would not notice if she said nothing? To Rinko, it was a proof of love that spoke with blinding brightness.
Mikoto’s body shook in Rinko’s arms. The back of the woman a little taller than her, the woman Rinko had always watched with her eyes, was so cold and lonely that Rinko could not help holding her tighter.
“…Did you break up with Shandy?”
“…”
“Please tell me. I do not want to see you sad, Kurosu-san. There is no ulterior motive.”
It came from the bottom of Rinko’s heart. She had no intention of pretending to offer romantic advice while stealing away Mikoto’s love. In the first place, merely looking at Mikoto made it clear that this was not a love that could be stolen so easily.
“…I don’t want to break up.”
Ah. So it was true after all.
She had known it, yet hearing Mikoto say it through sobs still shattered Rinko’s heart. The woman she loved was in love with someone else no matter what happened. She loved that woman too much even to see anyone else.
What was all that about joining a harem? Rinko cursed inwardly.
She remembered the words Mikoto, dressed as a bartender, had spoken to her on the day she confessed and was taken to that bar. Mikoto had dangled the possibility of loving two or three people despite never having intended to love more than one. Rinko could not understand it.
“Did she tell you she wants to break up?”
Unable to speak through her sobs, Mikoto shook her head. A cold drop fell onto Rinko’s hand, wrapped around Mikoto’s chest.
“Then why?”
Rinko held her tightly and waited for her answer.
When she said, “It’s all right,” as though drawing the truth out, the words hurt Rinko herself. The part of her that wanted to save a pitiful woman, the part of her that had been Rin-chan, the Aromatic sex worker who had sat with so many women in their troubles, was stronger than even her love for Mikoto.
“…She… doesn’t trust me…”
At last, Mikoto spoke the words, and they made perfect sense to Rinko.
Shandy thought of love as a game. For her, romance was an extension of playing pretend, and the person who fell in love was at fault.
There was only one thing Rinko could say.
“That hurts…”
Whether the words came from concern for Mikoto or an attempt to comfort herself, Rinko could not tell.
“What am I doing…?”
After work, at six in the evening.
On the outskirts of Roppongi, on the third floor of a mixed-use building, Rinko sighed before the heavy wooden door bearing antiqua in elegant Gothic lettering.
From what happened in the meeting room until Rinko left work, she and Mikoto had exchanged only businesslike words. Still, the evidence Rinko had gathered, combined with Kotone’s testimony, had let her infer what life Mikoto and Shandy had shared.
The date went back to Sunday.
As usual, Rinko was drinking plum wine alone and looking at Kotone’s Instagram on her phone, preparing to leave a comment. Then she noticed a direct-message notification.
Who could it be?
When she opened the app and checked the DM screen, the message was from Kurosu Kotone’s official account, complete with verification badge.
“Eugh.”
An odd sound escaped her. She had met Kotone twice, but had stubbornly refused to exchange contact information. As someone committed to avoiding recognition from her idol, she had sworn never to give Kotone a personal way to contact her.
The DM contained words that had obviously been typed by Kotone herself.
Should I tell Sis that you made that bunny girl your wallpaper?
Rinko hesitated. Of course she hesitated.
Replying would give Kotone a private point of contact.
But if she ignored it, there was no telling what sort of conversation might take place between the sisters.
“No, no, no, no…”
As she wavered, another DM arrived from Kotone.
Call this number within an hour. If you don’t, I’ll exaggerate everything to Sis. She might be completely put off by you, you know?
“G-give me a break…”
Forced to weigh Kotone discovering a private contact method against Kotone feeding Mikoto lies, Rinko clutched her head.
But the outcome—or rather, her heart—was already decided. With trembling fingers, she tapped the number and pressed call. After several seconds of ringing, the familiar voice answered.
“Yep. Rinko-chan identified. Recognised. You can’t run away from me now.”
“I told you to stop. You’re ruining your image…”
Kotone cackled on the phone. She must have been at her Yokohama flat, because the sound echoed slightly.
“How did you know that was my account?”
“You comment on my Instagram almost every time, right? Then I just had to find someone among those followers who also follows Sis’s account. The only people following both Kurosu sisters are Shan-nee and Rinko-chan.”
“You have too much free time for an actress.”
“More importantly, do you know Shan-nee’s account? The one that pretends to be cat pictures but is really a stream of suggestive posts.”
“I don’t want to hear it.”
Rinko answered in a bitterly detached tone. If she looked through the accounts Mikoto followed, the one presumed to belong to Shandy was easy to identify. Mikoto followed only friends from school and university. An account that posted only cat photographs was conspicuous beyond belief.
And lately the photographs’ pattern had changed. There were images of a Russian Blue, held up in someone’s two hands, framed from the neck down to conceal the person’s face. Photographs that could not possibly have been taken alone.
There was no need to wonder who had taken them.
“That was all, right? I’m hanging up.”
“Wait, the main point.”
“What?”
After a brief pause following Rinko’s reluctant reply, Kotone spoke heavily.
“Sis was crying. Yesterday, I happened to see her on the street on my way back from the agency.”
“Mikoto-san was?”
Rinko turned off the television that had been playing in the background and listened closely.
“I took her to a café and tried to hear what happened, but she would not tell me anything. I thought Rinko-chan might know something.”
“I don’t… What did Mikoto-san look like?”
“Silent. Just crying. If Rinko-chan doesn’t know, then it must be Shan-nee…”
Something had happened between Shandy and Mikoto.
Almost certainly—
“Did you ask her?”
“There’s no point. She’d just say, ‘Hehe, who knows?’ and that would be the end of it.”
Kotone’s imitation was so good that anger began to rise inside Rinko.
“Stop imitating her. You sound too much like her, and it annoys me.”
“Oh? Is something the matter, Rinko-san?”
“The problem is you.”
“Well, yes. Shan-nee put those photographs on Instagram, so I really thought she loved Sis…”
The thought that not only Mikoto, but Kotone as well had been deceived, made Rinko’s head hurt.
Shandy’s romance was play. It was not serious. Even her suggestive Instagram posts were deliberately uploaded because she knew Rinko was watching, even though Rinko did not follow her account.
Mikoto belongs to me.
That declaration had been nothing but a warning to Rinko, meant to make her suffer.
“That woman thinks of Mikoto-san as no more than a toy.”
“You really say things plainly. I like that about you.”
“I refuse to be recognised.”
“Anyway, I have a small request, Rinko-chan.”
“I said I don’t want recognition.”
“That’s not it!”
Kotone denied it sharply, unusually direct for someone who usually held her emotions in check. Rinko listened closely.
“…Sorry. Could you keep an eye on Sis?”
“What?”
“I’m worried. I don’t know what happened with Shan-nee, but Sis was serious.”
There was a slight tremor in Kotone’s voice. It sounded like an appeal from Kotone as Mikoto’s sister, not Kurosu Kotone the actress. Rinko’s eyes widened.
“…Are you trying to show off that you’re a sweet, caring little sister?”
“There’s nothing wrong with that…”
For all the insolent attitude Kotone took towards Mikoto, at the crucial moment, she cared deeply about her sister.
“You have a surprisingly cute side.”
“Don’t laugh.”
It was a face of Kotone the fans did not know: awkward, perhaps a little embarrassed. Rinko had not wanted to know anything of Kotone’s private life, but she could not dislike the kindness Kotone was showing now.
“That’s all. Do not tell Sis about this.”
“Maybe I will.”
“If you do, I’ll expose the bunny-girl wallpaper.”
“I’m joking.”
“Mm. Then we share a secret.”
With that, Kotone ended the call without waiting. Immediately afterwards, Rinko received a text message.
If you don’t want people to know your number, you need to dial 184 first ☆
Rinko had not set her phone to withhold caller ID automatically. Calling directly from the number displayed in the app had handed Kotone her contact information.
Rinko could not let her guard down for a second. Alone in the silent room, she slumped.
“Haa… What am I doing…?”
Remembering what had happened with Kotone, Rinko continued hesitating at antiqua’s entrance, unable to decide whether to open the door or go home.
She had been wavering for almost an hour. An open sign hung outside. Shandy had neither fled nor hidden.
“…It is for Mikoto-san.”
This was only for the woman she loved. Not because Kotone had asked her, and certainly not because she wanted Mikoto and Shandy to reconcile. Having resolved that, she pushed open the heavy door.
The wooden creak was the arrival bell. In the pitch darkness of the entrance area, saturated with alcohol and tobacco scents, she waited for Shandy to come. Classical music could just be heard, along with someone sniffling.
Fake crying.
“Welcome. Welcome to antiqua.”
“…One adult.”
“Only adults may enter. This way. Tonight, you shall have the wall-side seat.”
Even Rinko, with her sharp senses and good eyesight, could not make out Shandy’s figure in the dark. But she could easily hear that her voice was catching.
Fake crying.
Shandy led her into the bar. There were no customers at the tables in antiqua’s rear or at the five-seat counter. Naturally, Mikoto was not there either.
“Hehe. It is rare for Rinko-san to come alone. Have you come to court me?”
“Do not say disgusting things. I have no taste for courting a liar like you.”
“My, such a cold answer. What will you have first?”
“…Beer.”
Upon hearing the order, Shandy placed an unopened can of beer directly on the counter. The beer she served, on a Tuesday, was Wednesday’s Cat. Her habit of being deliberately provocative was as irritating as ever.
A ring gleamed on Shandy’s ring finger. It was surely a lie too.
“It’s Tuesday.”
“It is delicious whenever one drinks it. Ah, though perhaps Rinko-san is a Tuesday’s Barineko?”
“The worst.”
It was a foul sexual pun, instantly ruining her mood. Had Shandy not once said a bartender’s work was to make the time around a drink enjoyable? This was a gross dereliction of duty. She was a liar through and through.
“So this is what you are like without that woman around? I thought I sensed a little kindness in you, at least. A very little.”
“That woman? Whom could you mean?”
“I knew you would say that, so I will tell you. Kurosu Mikoto. The woman you were playing at romance with.”
“Hehe.”
Shandy smiled. An unreadable, meaningful smile.
Mikoto had been deceived by that smile full of lies. It tried to say more than words, to seduce and bewilder. It was dangerous poison. Once one tasted it, it invaded the heart.
Rinko ignored it and continued.
“Mikoto-san was crying.”
“I see.”
“You made her cry, didn’t you?”
“Why do you think that?”
“Will you not answer?”
“Let’s see. Then, shall we have a game—”
“I’m done.”
Rinko did not touch the beer. She rose from the counter seat.
Shandy would not speak honestly; she only evaded the truth. Talking to a woman like that was a waste of time.
“I will cherish Mikoto-san. You can stand by and watch.”
“Do you think you can?”
The tone was openly provocative. Shandy’s amber eyes gleamed brightly.
“You know I do not give up. No matter how much Mikoto-san loves you, I will love Mikoto-san, and I will trust her.”
“That is blind faith. Is love blind, perhaps?”
“A woman who cannot have a love that makes her blind could never understand Mikoto-san’s feelings.”
“…”
Shandy said nothing further.
Rinko left the unopened beer on the counter and walked away. She would never come to this bar again. She would never see a woman like Shandy again.
The only way to overcome Shandy’s suggestive curse was to take Mikoto from Shandy completely.
Having resolved that, she put a hand on the curtain leading to the entrance when she heard a voice.
“…I don’t want that.”
“What?”
Rinko turned around. Shandy stood before the wall-side seat Rinko had been using.
It was dim, and there was distance between them. Shandy had lowered her face, making her expression impossible to read. Though even if Rinko could see it, she would not know Shandy’s true intent.
But her posture was so—
“Please… Don’t take Mikoto…”
—so weak, so pitiful.
“Don’t steal Mikoto from me…”
The driving licence Shandy had shown her was proof that everything was a lie. Rinko had therefore taken all Shandy’s actions to be lies.
Shandy was someone who should have been dead, someone who had vanished from the public stage. Yet she still continued to play the role of antiqua’s bartender.
Rinko thought it was a tragic fate.
Did an actor who failed to leave the stage have to keep performing until death?
“…Is that one of your favourite performances?”
“No. I… really…”
Rinko could tell. Shandy was not lying now.
Her reaction was the same reaction Rinko had seen in women countless times: Aromatic customers who chose Rinko because they carried troubles they could not discuss with anyone and wanted someone to listen. The face of someone in painful, unhappy circumstances.
“Ah, honestly!”
Rinko was angry with herself. What was she doing?
Shandy was her rival in love, a woman she hated. Yet Rinko could not leave a vulnerable woman alone. She wanted, at least, to hear her out.
Rinko returned to the counter. She opened the can of beer Shandy had served and drank it down in one go. Crushing the empty can, she slammed it onto the counter.
“Promise you will not lie.”
“…Promise you will not tell Mikoto-san.”
Tears spilled from Shandy’s amber eyes. Rinko felt sorry for her, wondering how far someone had to build lies upon lies to corner herself this completely.
But Rinko knew something of her past.
“I understand the pain of living through lies. I understand, so I will not pry into your past. I do not want to become unable to hate you. I want to think of you as the infuriating, odious woman you are.”
“…Thank you. You are kind, Rinko-san.”
“Several hundred times kinder than you.”
With a great sigh, Rinko smiled wryly.
Without even prying, she could infer that Shandy’s past had been tragic and harrowing.
Ordinarily — no.
If Shandy told Mikoto everything, Mikoto would surely love her even more deeply. Kind and attentive as she was, Mikoto would never be able to leave Shandy alone.
Shandy’s secret was that powerful a hidden card.
And the reason she had stubbornly refused to reveal it was the game.
“…You did not want to tell Mikoto-san the truth and have her pity you, did you?”
At Rinko’s words, Shandy caught her breath.
“Yes…”