Episode 2: Anxiety
Class had started. I sat there, gazing absently out the window.
The teacher’s voice wasn’t reaching me. The only thing in my head was Honoka — who’d been right beside me until just a moment ago.
— I wonder if she’s talking to someone right now.
Just the thought made my chest go restless.
The image came to me so easily: Honoka, smiling, talking with someone. Honoka, at someone else’s side. The thought refused to leave.
I ground my back teeth.
There’s no point thinking about this.
“Hey, Nanase-san.”
A small voice from beside me.
I glanced over. Shiori was looking my way, smiling softly.
“…What?”
“If you keep staring out the window like that, the teacher’s going to get mad at you.”
A teasing tone. But her expression was gentle somehow.
“I don’t care.”
“Heh. You really are easy to read, Nanase-san.”
She laughed, quiet and small.
“What do you mean?”
“Just that you care about Shiraishi-san a lot.”
My heart lurched for a moment at those words.
“…Of course I do.”
“Yeah. I know. I just hope things can stay that way for you.”
Before I could work out what she meant by that, the teacher’s voice cut across the classroom.
“Nanase, Takamiya — no talking.”
“Yes, sir…”
Shiori gave me a wry smile and a small wink, then turned back to face the front.
I opened my textbook, feeling something I couldn’t quite name.
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After school.
The moment class ended, I grabbed my bag and headed for Class 2’s room.
Going to meet Honoka was only natural.
When I slid the door open, she was surrounded by classmates. Of course she was.
“Honoka.”
I called her name without hesitation.
The people around her went quiet for a moment.
“Yuna…”
Honoka looked at me, something uneasy in her expression.
“We’re going home.”
I took her hand.
“Oh, but…”
“Come on.”
I could feel the eyes on us. It didn’t matter.
“See you, Shiraishi-san,” someone called out.
“Yeah… see you tomorrow.”
Honoka smiled apologetically.
— I hate that smile being turned on anyone who isn’t me.
“…Hey, Honoka.”
Once we were out of the classroom, I squeezed her hand tight.
“What’s wrong?”
“Look at me more. Just me.”
Her expression froze for a second.
“Yuna…”
“You’re my girlfriend, aren’t you? But you were being so friendly with all of them…”
“But that’s just…”
“Look at me. Care about me. Only me.”
I pressed myself against her arm, holding on tight.
Honoka looked at me, uncertain.
“Yuna… that’s…”
“I love you, Honoka.”
I pulled her into a hug.
“…I love you too, Yuna.”
“Then look at me. Only me.”
I gripped her hand harder.
“…Yuna, can you give me just a little more freedom?”
I went still.
“…What do you mean?”
“I love you so much. But sometimes… I want time to talk with people, to be around others too.”
“…No.”
The word came out immediately.
“…Yuna.”
“You’re all I need. Is it different for you?”
“That’s not what I mean. It’s just…”
Honoka let out a slow breath, like she was choosing her words with care.
“I want to be there for you. But just a little… I want you to think about it a little more.”
Something snagged on those words, deep inside me.
“…I don’t want to think about it.”
I murmured it softly.
Honoka gently stroked my hand.
“I love you, Yuna.”
Those words, at least, I want to believe are true.
But I was afraid.
If things kept going like this — I felt like Honoka was going to slip away from me.