Episode 81: Surrender?

Yui-san, with me still straddling her hips, blinked repeatedly through her long lashes. Whether she grasped the meaning of my words or not, her gaze remained fixed, directed straight at me.

“…Sorry, Kanata. Could you say that again?”

After a full several seconds, Yui-san spoke. To steady my shallow, nervous breath and racing heartbeat, I took a deep breath. Then, I took the hand clenched stiffly on my thigh and squeezed it firmly.

“Today… please let me do it.”

　My voice trembled slightly, embarrassingly weak. Gathering my courage to repeat my words, Yui finally seemed to grasp the situation, her eyes widening slightly.

After lifting my clasped hand, Yui traced my fingertips as if to confirm. When I tilted my head, wondering what was wrong, she lifted her gaze from my fingers and gave a wry smile.

“…You’re quite thorough, Kanata. Did you intend this from the start?”

Only then did I realise she’d finally noticed the fingertips I’d painstakingly prepared. When she kissed them softly, my heart leapt as if seized. Her gaze, looking up at me mischievously, seemed so composed — utterly unlike the reaction I’d anticipated, leaving me bewildered.

　Her deep black eyes gave nothing away. I couldn’t tell if she approved or disapproved, so I steeled myself and asked.

“…Is it… okay?”

When I confirmed in a trembling voice, Yui-san chuckled softly, as if she couldn’t hold back.

“…Wh-why are you laughing?”

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just… you said it with such a serious face… Hey, Kanata, mind if I ask? Why do you want to do this?”

“Why… well, it’s just… I always end up being the one getting things done for me by you…”

“I do it because I like it.”

Her words were gentle, but somehow, Yui-san didn’t seem like she’d readily agree. Deep within those eyes, a predatory glint still shone brightly.

“But…”

“Didn’t you promise today you’d do anything I asked? I’ve been holding back from touching you this whole time.”

Her right palm, the one not clasped with mine, began to rub gently against my thigh. That touch made my resolve waver just a little.

“…Do you mind me holding you?”

I gaze back into those eyes asking me so gently. Of course not. Shaking my head from side to side, Yui-san smiled softly.

“No, I don’t mind. It always feels good and makes me happy… I just thought maybe today, Yui-san could feel that way too.”

Just being touched by your hand, just being gazed at by those eyes full of heat, lets me feel loved from the bottom of my heart.
It was none other than Yui-san who taught me that uniting bodies can fill the heart too.

“Yui… do you dislike being touched by me?”

“It’s not that I dislike being touched physically… hmm.”

I squeezed her hesitant hand firmly, as if to seal the deal. Having finally managed to pin her down, I couldn’t possibly back out now, at this point.

“Yui, please.”

“…Do you want it that much? Absolutely?”

I nodded. I didn’t know if I could do it well, but you wouldn’t know unless you tried.
Yui seemed to ponder for a moment, then looked straight at me and smiled defiantly. It was a slightly challenging smile I’d never seen before.

“Well then… see if you can get me in the mood. If you manage that, I’ll give in today.”

Get me in the mood…? Taken aback by this sudden demand, I hesitated just a little.
Her fingers took my hand and drew it to her mouth. After gently pressing her lips against mine, she lightly bit my middle finger. Startled, I pulled my hand away.

Amused by my reaction, Yui-san smiled mischievously.

“May I take off your clothes?”

“Go ahead. Do whatever you like, Kanata.”

I slid my hand under the hem of her shirt to remove it, touching her smooth side. Yui laughed, saying it tickled, completely ruining the mood, and I puffed out my cheeks.

What should I do? How did I always handle this before? I tried desperately to recall the nights we’d spent together, but my clumsiness made me fumble.
Slowly, I pulled the shirt up to her chest, revealing her pure white skin and navy underwear. I’d seen it just now in the hot spring, yet somehow it felt incredibly alluring, making my heart leap.
Without thinking, I hurriedly pulled the shirt back down.

“……Yui-san, I suppose you’ll have to take it off yourself”

Suddenly overcome by anxiety that I might not be able to undress her properly, I couldn’t bear it any longer. As I spoke, she lay sprawled on the bed, gazing up at me, and gave a faint smile.

“Eh? You won’t undress me?”

“…Please undress yourself.”

She tugged at the hem of my shirt with her fingertips. Somehow, Yui-san seemed unusually mischievous today. I pouted, thinking she could be a bit more cooperative, and when I looked at her, she smiled brightly and said.

“Well then, if you take yours off too, that’s fine.”

“Eh?”

“Take it off yourself and show me.”

Yui-san always undressed me, so I never imagined she’d tell me to undress myself. Suddenly, I felt terribly embarrassed.
But then again, I was the one who’d asked Yui-san to “take it off” in the first place — so perhaps I had no grounds to complain.
　Her eyes fixed on me looked mischievous, and I felt if I dawdled any longer, she might take back control. So, flustered, I hooked my fingertips onto the buttons of my own blouse.

“…Are you nervous? Your hands are shaking.”

If she knew, why didn’t she just help me instead of staring so intently? My nerves made it hard to undo the buttons properly, and I couldn’t help but fumble.

“Are you alright? Should I… take it off for you?”

If I accepted that offer and said “Take it off,” I knew exactly what would happen.
I get aroused just from Yui-san touching me, so why isn’t it the same for her? Is it the difference in experience?

“I can… take it off myself…”

Somehow managing to undo all the blouse buttons, my skin was exposed to the air and felt a little cooler. Even though my chest was hidden by my underwear, being stared at like that made me feel uneasy.

“Um, is this… alright?”

“But you’ve only undone the buttons. I told you to take it off, Kanata.”

“Don’t be so mean…”

　When I said it reproachfully, Yui narrowed her eyes slightly and looked at me. With a resigned smile, she rolled up the sleeves of her shirt and deftly slipped it off, then flung the garment onto the bedside.

“There. I’m undressed. Is this alright?”

Looking down at Yui in her underwear for the first time, I gasped. Her translucent white skin lay before me now.

She said I could do whatever I wanted — but what should I do? What on earth should I do? My head tells me I should just do exactly what Yui always does for me, yet the moment I’m in her position, I suddenly have no idea what to do or how to do it.

　Truth be told… I thought Yui would tell me what to do. Yet now she lay on the bed, silently watching my every move, seemingly with no intention of helping me at all.

“…Your face is bright red. Are you alright? You can give up anytime.”

“I’m… fine.”

Yui’s hand undid the hook on my skirt and pulled down the zip. Surprised, I hear her say, “You’ll crease it, take it off,” but having all my clothes except my underwear taken away leaves me feeling rather exposed.

Desperately, I rack my brains. How did Yui-san always hold me? I try to recall, reaching out my trembling fingertips towards her.
As I lean over her, the bed springs creak. I hadn’t realised. I’d never noticed before, always too flustered, but being the one doing it reveals so many things.

“…Is it… okay if I kiss you?”

I asked timidly, and Yui chuckled softly.

“You don’t need to ask permission for every little thing. Just do as you please.”

Oh, well, whatever happens, happens.

　Closing my eyes, I gently pressed my lips to hers, and all the strength seemed to drain from my body.

Just touching her felt wonderful, but — huh? I thought. The sweet tongue that would normally sneak in wasn’t making any move to enter.
Wondering why, I lifted my face and met her eyes directly.

“Um, Yui-san…”

“Yes?”

“Why won’t you kiss me properly?”

“Eh? But today, you’re the one doing it, aren’t you?”

“…Yes, but…”

Hearing that left me flustered. Gently, his thumb traced my lips softly.

“…This doesn’t get me in the mood at all. Remember how I always do it. Try doing it the same way.”

Even if you tell me to do the same, I’ve no idea what you mean. All I ever think about is how good it feels; I’ve no clue what’s actually happening to me.
Hesitantly, I drew my lips closer and gave them a quick lick. Yui-san parted her lips slightly, so I timidly slipped my tongue inside.
　But — the moment the tips of our tongues touched, I startled and pulled mine back, making Yui chuckle softly.

“Yui… I don’t know what to do…”

“Hehe, I see. Well then, I’ll show you how it’s done. Come here.”

An arm wrapped around my back, pulling me close with a firm tug. As our lips met, this time her gentle tongue slipped into my mouth like it always did.

Her tongue gently entwined with mine, sending shivers through my body.
No. I shouldn’t be reacting like this. It’s not like I’m the one being held today. My body was more honest than my mind, and with each kiss, a slow, deep heat spread through my stomach.

When my hips were gently stroked and my tongue sucked, a hot sensation shot between my legs — startled, I jerked away.
Why was I reacting like this? My body hadn’t been like this before. Ever since I started seeing Yui-san, my body had gone haywire.

　Embarrassed, I lowered my gaze.

“What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing at all.”

My body felt as though it had been set alight, the heat building up in a swirling, suffocating way. I felt like I might lose control.
Does Yui-san always feel like this when she’s with me? My body felt painful, frustrating, and I felt like crying.

　What should I do? I want her to touch me. Once that thought entered my mind, it was over.

Trying to calm down, I buried my face in the nape of her neck and inhaled Yui-san’s scent. But that very fragrance, far from soothing me, only made the heat in my body worsen.
It backfired. What on earth should I do? It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

“Yui…”

My spirit felt broken. Whether she knew it or not, Yui said, “I suppose it’s still a bit early for you, Kanata,” and smiled.

“Kanata.”

Hearing my name, I gently lifted my face. At the same moment, her mischievous left hand touched my inner thigh. Startled, I shuddered, and she pulled me closer around the waist, as if to say she wouldn’t let me escape.

“Yui-san, I told you not to touch me…!”

Burying my face in her neck, I protested in a trembling voice. I knew full well that such a feeble protest held no persuasive power. But I couldn’t help saying it.

“Because you look like you want me to touch you.”

“I don’t look like that…”

“…I think you did really well, Kanata. Good girl, good girl.”

She patted my head gently, speaking as if soothing a child, and I could almost hear the sound of my spirit snapping.
My body was burning up. I felt like I was going to lose control.

“Surrender?”

Whispered softly in my ear, I squeezed my eyes shut. Maybe Yui-san was right after all—pushing her down was still too soon for me.

Completely broken, I nodded. Yui-san smiled.

“…Well then, in that case, beg for it properly.”

“Eh…?”

　Yui, what did you just say?

Before I could ask, she pushed my shoulders and our pressed bodies separated. Sitting up, I looked down at Yui still straddling my waist. She was smiling brightly.

Ignoring my confusion, Yui just stared at me silently.

Beg… You mean… tell her I want her to hold me…?

　Realising this, my cheeks flushed fiercely. My stomach had been burning with desire since earlier, desperate for her touch, and I felt like crying at why she’d say such a teasing thing.

“…Or do you want to stop now?”

I’d suspected it all along… Yui-san, who’s usually so kind, is teasing in bed. I suppose this is her true nature.

　I couldn’t say it out loud, too embarrassed. But my body was already aflame, beyond control… I couldn’t sleep like this. I didn’t want her to stop here.

Just then, I suddenly remembered. Right, there was a way to tempt her without saying a word.
I gripped her left hand tightly, lifting it up, and pressed my lips to her middle and ring fingers. Then, gently, I took them into my mouth and bit down lightly.

　Yui-san always said that when I touched these fingers on her left hand, she couldn’t help but think I was inviting her. So, I suppose that’s what it means.

I wonder if she understood now…

Peering over, I saw Yui-san’s eyes widen slightly in surprise, then she smiled happily.

“……Hmm, well done”

The finger withdrawn from my mouth gently traced the line from my neck down to the hollow of my breast, then lower still, beyond my stomach. Slowly tracing my body. That alone sent shivers running down my spine.

“Since you begged properly, you’ll get a reward”

I nodded quietly. “Lift your hips a little,” she said gently, and I obediently did as told.
Yet, there was no sign of her pushing me down. Wondering why, I looked up at her. Yui-san must have noticed my expression, for she gave a soft laugh.

“Stay like that. Climb on top.”

“Eh…?”

My mind wasn’t ready at all, but those mischievous fingertips slid inside my underwear. I nearly let out a sound, and instinctively squeezed my eyes shut.

“Kanata. Don’t close your eyes. Keep looking at me the whole time. Otherwise, I won’t make you feel good.”

Tears slowly welled up. Even when I whimpered, “No, please don’t,” her hand stopped the moment I closed my eyes. So, through my blurred vision, all I could do was stare at her.

“…It’s because you teased me so much, Kanata. So this is payback. …Today, you can bite me as many times as you like.”

Those mischievous, dark eyes fixed on me. Even that single gaze made me tremble so much, my feelings were utterly overwhelming—

In the end, the plan I’d made failed spectacularly.

　That night. I was thoroughly taught, to the point of exhaustion, that Yui-san “prefers to be held.”

Even when I cried and apologised, she wouldn’t easily forgive me. I ended up learning firsthand just how unbearable this over two-week period of denial had been for Yui-san, and I was left with a great deal of reflection.

Whatever the reason, I absolutely must never leave Yui-san alone again…

　The next morning, Yui-san, her body covered in bite marks, winced slightly while getting dressed — but on that point alone, I was absolutely certain I wasn’t at fault.

＊＊＊

“Hey, Kanata, are you still sulking?”

“…Not really, I’m not sulking…”

On the way home in the car, Yui-san asked me that, half-jokingly.
Not sulking. It’s just that remembering yesterday makes me feel a bit embarrassed, so I can’t quite look at her.

“Yui-san’s meanness isn’t something that just started now…”

“Sorry about that. But you like the mean me too, don’t you?”

“…I don’t know.”

Hearing that, I was startled. What should I do… How did she find out? I thought she hadn’t noticed that my body somehow reacts every time she’s mean to me.

But all of this is Yui-san’s fault. It was none other than Yui who made my once insensitive body like this.

I turned my face away from the window, trying to hide the heat rising to my cheeks. The autumn sky was clear and crisp, almost too refreshing. It was supposed to be a wonderful birthday for Yui, but instead, I’d ended up having a terrible time.

Yui, singing a tune with one hand on the wheel, seemed unusually cheerful. So, I suppose you could call it a success, in a way.

　When she suggested we head back to her place first to relax before she drove me home later that night, I nodded obediently. I’d have preferred to stay over, but tomorrow was Monday, so it couldn’t be helped.

Given how much energy I’d expended last night, I’d been hoping to just chill with Yui-san until evening anyway, so it worked out perfectly.

After the long drive, we arrived at Yui-san’s house just past noon. She opened the garage door and parked the car.
　Feeling a bit sleepy, I started taking my things out of the car when Yui gently took my hand.

It made me happy that she held my hand even for the short walk from the garage to the front door. As I thought this and looked at her, Yui looked back at me and gave me a warm smile.

Seeing the necklace glinting on her chest, I couldn’t help but smile back.

“Yui, what shall we have for lunch?”

“What would you like, Kanata?”

We were exchanging such trivial talk when I went to unlock the door.

“——Yui.”

My heart gave a sharp thud. A low, resonant male voice came from behind me, and I turned.
—His gaze was like that of a snake stalking its prey. Standing there in plain clothes, tall and imposing, he wore a faint, knowing smile.

　Startled, I tried to pull my hand away, but Yui-san gripped it tightly, stopping me. I felt myself about to panic, but Yui-san calmly turned to face Kitakami-san.

“I was wondering who you were meeting, ignoring messages from your boyfriend… but it was Aosawa-san. That’s a relief.”

His piercing gaze fixed on our clasped hands. I felt cold sweat trickle down my spine.
What on earth should I say? As I hesitated, Yui-san opened her mouth without any sign of fluster.

“Hang on, when did we become a couple again?”

She said it so plainly that I looked at Yui in surprise. Then Kitakami-san laughed out loud.

“Goodness, Yui, you’re still the same as ever.”

“What do you want? I’m off today… If it’s work, make it tomorrow.”

“It’s your birthday today, isn’t it? I just brought a present.”

Saying that, Kitakami-san handed Yui a pale blue paper bag and smiled warmly.

“Happy birthday.”

“…Thanks. But I told you I don’t need presents anymore, didn’t I?”

“Don’t say that, just take it. …But you two are really close, aren’t you? Makes me a bit jealous, even if you are both girls.”

Did I feel a sting at those words because I felt guilty towards Kitakami-san? I couldn’t tell if he’d noticed or not, or what he was thinking.

　Kitakami-san looked at me. Behind that gaze, it felt like a sharp blade was hidden, making my breathing difficult.

“Sorry for interrupting. Well then, see you.”

With that, Kitakami-san turned on his heel and walked away without a second glance. My heart still pounded loudly deep within my chest.

“…Shall we go inside?”

Yui-san said apologetically. Nodding vigorously, I entered the house. Yui-san tossed the paper bag she’d received from Kitakami-san onto the shelf, then pulled me close and hugged me tightly.

“I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable.”

“…Yui. Do you think Kitakami-san might have noticed our relationship…?”

I asked timidly.

“Well, I don’t know. Even if he had noticed, I don’t think he’d make a fuss about it.”

“But… doesn’t Kitakami-san like you…?”

I could detect a hint of hostility in the way he looked at me. Whether it stemmed from romantic feelings, I couldn’t say.

“No way. Does Shinji look like the type to pine away for someone he’s been engaged to for eight years without so much as a touch?”

Now that she put it like that, he certainly didn’t seem like that sort. But…

“…All Shinji wants is status. Once my father understands my situation, I intend to have him promise Shinji a suitable position too, so it’ll be fine. Even if our engagement is called off, nothing really changes. In fact, wouldn’t Shinji be happy to marry someone he truly loves?”

I wonder if that’s really true. Somehow, I can’t quite see Kitakami-san thinking that way…
　Yui, perhaps you simply don’t understand because you’re too disinterested in Kitakami-san…

As if to dispel my unease, I rubbed myself against Yui’s chest and held her body tightly.

　I know. This relationship shouldn’t be allowed. For Kitakami-san, it’s nothing but betrayal.

I’m the one who should be blamed, not Kitakami-san. By society’s standards, I’m the one in the wrong.

I know that, but still — even if Kitakami-san said he didn’t want to let Yui-san go, I could never leave her again.

Yes, that’s what I thought.