Episode 11: Change — Honoka’s Side
side.Honoka
I, Shiraishi Honoka, was walking aimlessly after school, alone.
(Yuna…)
This morning, Yuna had told me she was going to keep some distance.
It was probably those words — “can you give me just a little more freedom?” — that made Yuna reach that decision.
But this was how it should be. This was what I wanted.
Yuna had clearly been depending on me too much.
If things had kept going the way they were, she would have stopped being able to see anyone but me.
And honestly — I had been finding Yuna’s possessiveness a little painful myself.
So this should be fine. This is what I asked for.
And yet — for some reason, I felt as if a hollow had opened up somewhere deep in my chest.
“Haah…”
A sigh slipped out before I could stop it.
I walked slowly, watching the town dye itself in the colours of the sunset, and found myself passing in front of a café.
This was the café Yuna and I had come to together, once before.
“Yuna…”
The murmur escaped without thinking.
I turned my eyes toward the café, as if searching for the shape of someone who was no longer beside me.
…Huh?
In that instant, my feet stopped without my permission.
Through the window, I could see Yuna sitting at a table near the glass.
But she wasn’t alone.
Across from her sat a girl I didn’t recognise.
(…Who is that?)
The two of them appeared to be talking about something.
Yuna’s expression was stiff — but she looked settled, somehow. Calm.
Before I knew it, I was standing frozen in front of the café.
I couldn’t hear what they were saying inside.
But Yuna’s gaze was turned toward that girl, and every now and then — just faintly — something like a smile crossed her face.
What I could see through the glass was a Yuna I didn’t know.
This was the café Yuna and I had come to together.
And yet it felt as though our memories here were being painted over with something new — and something in my chest began to stir uneasily.
(…Yuna can talk with someone like this.)
I hadn’t known that.
Yuna, facing someone I’d never seen, talking with them.
Until now, I could never have imagined Yuna spending time like this with anyone but me.
(Yuna is… trying to change.)
Yuna trying to change was a good thing. It was what I had wanted.
And yet — a sharp pain shot through the depths of my chest.
I squeezed my hand into a fist.
(Why am I feeling this way?)
I kept my eyes on the café window and let out a small breath, as if trying to shake off the strange feeling welling up inside me.
Yuna finding something new is a good thing.
For her sake, it’s the best thing.
…And yet I feel this lonely.
If I kept watching, I had the sense that something uglier would rise up in me.
So.
I quietly turned on my heel, and walked away from the café.