Episode 125: A New Life (2)

‘Takizawa, you were a bit later than usual today, weren’t you?’
‘Yeah, I went to check out a club.’

Endo-san’s eyes went wide and she came bustling out of the kitchen. Both my shoulders were firmly seized.

‘Are you joining a club?’
‘Ranka and I were just talking about joining one.’

Endo-san made an indescribable face, grunted ‘Hmm…’, then pursed her lips slightly.

‘With Yamamoto-san… What’s she like?’
‘Just normal.’
‘Oh, really? Come shopping with me tomorrow, will you?’

Endo-san is always so sudden. But I suppose I’ve got quite used to these curveballs, probably because I’ve spent so much time with her. Come to think of it, it’s been nearly two years since I met Endo-san.

“Sure.”
“I’m so happy. Takizawa and I on our fir—…”
“Hm?”

　Endo started to say something but clamped her mouth shut. Even when I asked her to repeat herself, she just shook her head from side to side and wouldn’t answer.

　I confessed to Endo in the winter of our final year of high school, and we started dating. Even now, it still doesn’t feel real that I’m actually dating Endo.

　Endo-san is my girlfriend…

Between entrance exams and moving, I became a university student in a flurry, we started living together without ever really having had a chance to go out and spend time together properly. Now that I’ve finally got used to this lifestyle, it might be nice to take a leisurely stroll around the nearby shopping centre.

　Personally, I think life with Endo-san is going well. We each have our own room, and as for the kitchen and bathroom, we use them whenever we like. We’ve also agreed on the minimum rules necessary for daily life.

　We’ve set up a rota for cleaning and cooking, but as Endo-san is better at cooking, she does more of the cooking and I do most of the cleaning. It’s not that I leave everything to her, though; there are times when I make an effort to cook as well.

We’ve also agreed that when we wake up in the morning, we’ll both light incense for Endo-san’s parents.

As for money, my parents send me enough to live comfortably, and I hand that over to Endo-san to manage. It’s simply more efficient to leave it to Endo, who has lived on her own for such a long time.

It’s been nearly two weeks since we started this arrangement, and so far there haven’t been any major issues.

Hearing this, it might sound as though I’m getting the better end of the deal, but Endo doesn’t mind and is happy to live with me regardless.

Perhaps because Endo’s university is closer to home, she’s usually here before me and is always there to welcome me.

　I still haven’t quite got used to coming home, saying ‘I’m home’, and having ‘Welcome back’ in reply. However, it certainly feels less stifling than it did when I was at secondary school.

“Endo-san, good work this week.”

I set the paper bag of macarons I’d bought on the way home on the cleared table.

‘What’s this?’
‘I fancied something sweet…’

　The truth was, I’d bought them because I wanted Endo-san to be happy. There was no way I could say that honestly, so I rattled off a plausible excuse. Endo-san, who didn’t seem to care in the slightest about my worries, rustled open the bag and her eyes lit up.

‘They’re so cute. It feels like a shame to eat them.’
‘They’re sweets, so you have to eat them or there’s no point?’
‘Which one do you like, Takizawa?’
“There is caramel, pistachio, lemon, and raspberry. You choose whichever you like, Endo-san.”

Endo-san hummed “Hmm” again, resting her hand on her chin as she pondered. Seeing her looking a little childish like that, I think a slight smile spread across my face. I thought to myself that if she wanted to eat them, I didn’t need any, so she could have them all.

“I’ll have the pistachio and raspberry. Takizawa, you know, you’re quite the charmer, aren’t you?”

I had no idea what she was on about, so I ignored her and took a bite of the caramel macaron.

　Sweet…

　It’s sweet, but just the right amount of sweetness for my tired body.

‘Can I have a bite?’
‘Then there won’t be any left.’
‘I’ll give you some of mine too.’

　Endo-san helped herself to a bite of my caramel macaron without asking.

‘It’s sweet, but isn’t it absolutely delicious?’
‘Yeah.’

　Endo-san held out the raspberry macaron she’d been eating towards me, so I took a bite of hers. The sweetness and tartness spread through my mouth, creating a strange sensation.

“It’s got a bit of a grown-up flavour, doesn’t it?”
“I knew you wouldn’t like it, Takizawa. You’ve got a surprisingly childish palate, after all.”
“That’s annoying…”

　It’s annoying, but this casual conversation with Endo is happiness. Back in high school I couldn’t have imagined getting along with her like this. I certainly never imagined we’d end up living together.

　I remembered that Endo-san had also mentioned going to check out a club the other day, but I hadn’t heard if she was actually going to join, so I popped the rest of the macaron into my mouth and asked her.

‘Are you going to join a club, Endo-san?’
‘Hmm, I’m not sure. I want to work part-time, too. But Mai’s been asking me to join the basketball club with her. If I do that, I’ll be coming home a bit later, so I’m torn. Well, I’d be coming home late either way if I work part-time, though.’

The thought that Endo-san might come home late if she started a part-time job or joined a club made me feel a little uneasy.

Endo-san and Mai are at the same university now, and it seems they’re still hanging out together. I felt a little envious of Mai, who gets to be with Endo-san at university too.

‘Aren’t you joining a club?’
‘Hmm, I’m not sure. I don’t want to spend less time with Takizawa…’

She really shouldn’t have to worry about me, but those words from Endo-san made me feel a little happy.

“What club are you joining, Takizawa?”
“A stargazing club.”
“What kind of club is that? I want to join.”
“You could look for something similar at your own university.”
“That’s not the point — it’s fun because you’re there, Takizawa.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”

I didn’t understand what she meant, but I found myself even more baffled by the fact that her words made me so happy. I’m not interesting to talk to, and there’s surely nothing fun about being with me, yet I believed Endo-san meant what she said. I imagined, all on my own, that I would have enjoyed it too if Endo-san had been in the club with me.

‘Let me know when you’ve sorted everything out, OK?’
‘Why?’
‘Because it’s important for our life together.’

She said that with a smile and looked at me, so I just replied, ‘Alright.’

My life right now is very happy.

So, I’ve decided to do whatever I can to make sure I don’t ruin it. Lately I’ve been challenging myself in my own way to try saying things more honestly. It doesn’t always go smoothly, but Endo-san always accepts it kindly.

“I suppose I’d better start getting ready for bed.”

Endo-san started fluttering about, trying to tidy up, so I stopped her.

“You made dinner, so I’ll clear up.”

Endo’s eyes widened, but she soon smiled and said, ‘Well then, I suppose I’ll take you up on that.’

Once the tidying was done, I soaked away the week’s fatigue in a warm bath, and whilst I was watching TV in the living room, Endo came out of the bathroom.

‘Let’s sleep together tonight.’
‘No way.’

Endo wants to sleep together every Friday. Although I do want to sleep with her, for some reason I get nervous and can’t bring myself to be honest.

‘You’re being mean, Takizawa. It’s only sleeping together, for goodness’ sake.’
‘I know, but…’

Perhaps because I looked so troubled, Endo-san, looking a little sulky, simply said, ‘Goodnight,’ and went off to her room.

Feeling a sense of frustration at this distance in our relationship, so different from when we were at secondary school, our university life began.