Episode 33: Reina Is… Kind, Isn’t She
Even after the sweet time with Yuno had ended, the guilt didn’t fade no matter how much time passed.
In that moment, swept along by the black feeling, I’d put my hands on Yuno. Bitten her tongue, and then — flustered, falling apart — found myself overtaken instead, Yuno pressing toward me, feeling so good.
Lost in it, our bodies tangled together, and by the time I noticed, everything was already over.
And now, lying in bed, Yuno kept stroking my head, gently, on and on.
I glanced toward her, and she narrowed her eyes and smiled. Soft, melting.
The moment I saw it, my chest gave another aching creak. Something tight, something sweet and yet painful. A feeling I couldn’t quite name was settling, quietly, into my chest.
I’m happy.
I should be happy.
As if to chase the feeling away, I reached toward the bedside table and grabbed the cigarette pack. Drew one out, put it between my lips, lit it with the lighter.
I exhaled a stream of white smoke, and the tightness in my chest seemed, just slightly, to thin.
“About earlier.”
“Mm, earlier?”
“…Sorry.”
I dropped the words, quietly. Too embarrassed to apologise straightforwardly, my eyes drifted instead to my own fingers holding the cigarette.
Yuno tilted her head slightly. Her pale blonde hair swayed softly, and she looked up at me, puzzled.
“For biting your tongue.”
“Mm-mm. Kind of felt good, actually.”
She said it, sticking her tongue out playfully. A mischievous, faintly sensuous gesture. The tip still showed a faint trace of red.
“Pervert.”
I said it half-joking, giving her a sideways glare. Yuno’s shoulders shook with a soft laugh.
“Hey, why did you bite me?”
Yuno’s eyes were direct, as if trying to look straight into the depths of my heart. Large, clear enough that I felt I might be pulled in.
I couldn’t answer. All I could manage was deflecting with “I don’t know.”
Monday would come, and ordinary life would return.
Yuno as a cleaner, Saeko coming into the office. They’d keep running into each other, again and again, from now on.
Would they be drawn back together, every time their paths crossed, day after day?
Would Saeko keep pursuing Yuno, from now on too?
Eventually — would Yuno leave. Leave me.
I wanted to ask.
I wanted to ask everything, get it all out in the open. But I was afraid of the answer. No matter what, I couldn’t bring the words out.
— I don’t want to hand her over. Not to Saeko. Not to anyone.
That feeling spread through my whole body slowly, like smoke, growing stickier, clinging tighter, refusing to let go.
I breathed out smoke and dropped the cigarette butt into the ashtray. Then, quietly, I opened my mouth.
“Hey. Why don’t you quit the part-time job.”
“Eh? Why?”
Yuno’s eyes flew open, startled. Her large eyes trembling slightly. Even that expression was unbearably cute.
“…It’s just — I worry. About all kinds of things. Especially at night.”
The words came out half-excuse, almost reflexive.
“Then maybe I’ll just keep the daytime one.”
“The daytime one too… you can quit that too. I’ll support Yuno from now on. Just stay home, buy whatever you like, do whatever you like.”
“But…”
Yuno stopped there. Her gaze dropped, slowly, to the floor.
For a while, she said nothing.
Was Saeko’s face surfacing in her mind? Or something else entirely? I couldn’t read it from her expression. She just breathed, quietly, small, in my arms.
“I’m different from all the other ‘big sisters’ before me. I won’t… I won’t throw Yuno away…”
I whispered it gently against her ear, holding her tight.
Warm, soft, slender. The feel of her was so dear to me that I thought I could never let her go now.
Her body felt slight, fragile, as if it might vanish somewhere unless I held it tightly.
Yuno’s fingers gripped, hard, at my back. And then, slowly, the strength drained out of them.
“…Yeah. …Okay. Reina can’t go anywhere either, okay?”
Her voice was hoarse, faintly trembling.
A short pause, and then Yuno laughed softly and let the words fall.
“Reina is… kind, isn’t she.”
At that sweet whisper, guilt washed over me in waves.
I’m not kind. Not at all.
Whether those words came from a heart entirely innocent, or whether she’d seen straight through to the bottom of mine — I couldn’t read her true meaning.
Without either of us quite deciding to, our faces drew close, and we exchanged another slow kiss.
Again and again, deep, deeper still.
Once more, the wide bedroom filled only with the indecent, wet sound and the rustle of sheets against skin.
— I’m a coward.
I know it. I know I’m doing something underhanded.
Knowing Yuno’s past, whispering exactly the words she wants to hear, making her depend on me.
In doing so, quietly locking her into a cage. So she can’t get out.
So she can never see Saeko again.
Saeko has saved me too, in her own way. I don’t know what would have become of the company without her.
Which is exactly why I don’t want to stir up trouble.
— There was no other way to do this.
But this way, we can stay together forever.
I can keep Yuno away from Saeko.
I can make Yuno mine, and only mine.
Kissing Yuno deeply, guilt and relief tangled together in a mess, spreading slowly, warmly, through my whole body.
— End of Chapter Four —