Episode 74: Do you understand what that means?

After parting ways with the two seniors, the tense atmosphere still lingering.
I met up with Yui-san a little later, and we rode the train towards the station nearest my flat.

It was me who suggested to Yui-san, who had offered to take a taxi, “Let’s take the train home.”

Because a taxi would get us there in no time, whereas the train meant we could stay together just a little longer.

　I was the one who decided to return to my own flat today, having plans to meet Yuri tomorrow.
And yet, even now, finding myself wanting to stay with her just a little longer, I realise I’m hopelessly in love with Yui-san.

I wish we could live together again, like we did when we were students. I do think that, but right now, I can’t be so selfish.
　Even though our feelings are mutual, a major problem remains. To be honest, I’m not entirely free of guilt towards Kitakami-san.
I have no idea how he feels about Yui-san.
But Yui-san promised me she would “absolutely break off the engagement”. So I believe her word.

Living together would be after everything was over. Once it was all finished, then I would return to that house. Yes, that was my decision.

　Just a few stops later, we reached the station nearest my flat.
I wanted to stay with her a little longer. Even though it was my own decision, I forced myself to suppress the pouting urge and looked at Yui-san.

“…Thank you for seeing me off.”

“Not just to the station. I’ll walk you to your door.”

　I’d assumed we’d part at the station, but it seemed Yui-san intended to walk me all the way to my door. She took my hand and smiled brightly.

“But won’t it be a bother for you to go back, Yui-san?”

“I’ll take a taxi home, so it’s fine. Besides, walking alone at night isn’t safe, is it?”

I gazed back at Yui-san, who looked at me with such affection.
　I hadn’t drunk that much, had I? Was I drunk? Just looking at each other like this made my pulse race, my heart tightening painfully.

Our clasped hands felt hot. I wanted to get closer. I wanted her to hug me tight like she always did. I didn’t want to let go. But doing that in public was impossible. Lately, I’d been thinking about nothing else.

“Well then… I’ll take you up on that offer…”

Leaving the station, I began walking as slowly as possible. The autumn night breeze caressed my bare skin, and I felt deeply that summer had truly passed.

The seasons pass by at a dizzying pace. But now, I can truly believe that next year, the year after that, and forever after, I can spend peaceful times like this, holding hands with Yui-san.

Back when I chose to part ways, I never imagined I could picture such a happy future.

　All of this is because Yui-san worked so hard for me — everything, from walking hand in hand like this now to being together, is all thanks to you.

Gazing at her elegant profile illuminated by the headlights of passing cars, I thought, savouring the feeling: Ah, I really do love her.

　We walked home, chatting about random things — like how Mitsuya-san and Seno-san had been arguing again, or the film I planned to see with Yuri tomorrow.
Yui-san always listens to my stories with a cheerful smile.

We’d walked slowly, reluctant to part, yet because I’d chosen an apartment just five minutes’ walk from the nearest station, we arrived home all too soon.

　When we reached the entrance to the apartment building, Yui-san stopped.

“Kanata’s flat is close to the station, isn’t it? We’re already here.”

I wondered if she felt reluctant to part, just as I did.

I wanted to stay with her a little longer. Just a little longer.

Unable to let go of the hands we were holding, I faced her and squeezed her hand tightly with both of mine. Seeing my reaction, Yui-san gave a soft, gentle smile.

“…Well then, see you tomorrow. I’ll come pick you up, so do give me a call.”

I nodded. Yui gently lifted my chin with the fingers of her free hand, raising my lowered face.
After kissing me softly, she peered into my eyes. The orange streetlight reflected in her dark pupils, making them sparkle.

“…Don’t look so sad. It makes me not want to let you go.”

Realising she’d seen right through me, I hurriedly pulled away. Yui smiled happily again at my reaction.

“Goodnight, Kanata. Go on in to your room.”

Saying that, she ruffled my hair, then waved at me and turned on her heel.

I waved back too… but seeing her retreating figure made my chest tighten. I really do want to be with her longer. I should have taken everything – tomorrow’s change of clothes, my make-up set – and stayed over at Yui-san’s house.

I can’t sleep alone. I want to sleep holding Yui-san.

　Before I knew it, my feet had started running of their own accord.

“Whoa”

Before Yui-san could turn around, having apparently heard my footsteps, I clung to her from behind, half-colliding with her body.

“Yui-san…”

I pressed my forehead against her back as I called her name. Then, I felt a vibration through her back — she had chuckled softly.

“What’s the matter, Kanata?”

I wanted to say she should know without me having to put it into words — but Yui probably already understood my feelings. She knew, and she was asking me to say it, wanting to hear those words from me.

I knew everything, but putting it into words felt a little embarrassing.
She, who usually took the lead, was being terribly teasing today.

After catching my breath just a little, I tightened my arms around her and summoned my courage.

“So… about tonight… wouldn’t you like to… stay over…?”

It came out weaker and quieter than I’d intended. I’d mustered all my courage to say it, but Yui-san laughed, so I hurriedly looked up.

“Wh-why are you laughing?”

Yui-san turned back, smiling, and gently stroked my cheek affectionately.

“Inviting your lover home… Do you understand what that means?”

Her intense gaze fixed on me made me suddenly feel embarrassed, and I looked down.

“…I don’t know. I don’t know that sort of thing.”

“You don’t know? I see. You don’t know, do you?”

I wasn’t so inexperienced that I didn’t understand the meaning behind the words Yui-san was trying to say. But admitting that felt incredibly, incredibly embarrassing.

“…Well then, just for you, Kanata, I’ll tell you specially.”

She kissed the back of my clasped hand and smiled. I pulled her hand, trying to hide my flushed face.

　Opening the heavy door and ushering me inside, she grabbed my arm the moment I took off my shoes.

The instant I thought, ah, my back was pressed against the wall and my lips were seized, as if bitten.

The sweet scent of Yui-san’s perfume made my head spin. Her thumb pressed lightly against my lips, and through the opening, her soft tongue slid inside.

Yui-san was more forceful than usual, and my heart pounded relentlessly, refusing to slow. When her tongue entwined mine, my breath instantly grew ragged.

I wanted to cling to her body, but feared that if I did, Yui-san would never let go… Instead, I clutched her sleeve tightly, as if clinging for dear life.

Still unaccustomed to such things, I always let Yui-san take the lead. Her palm gently caressed my waist, then slowly traced the contours of my body.

Yui-san loves kissing, so she never lets go easily. As our lips pressed together again and again from different angles, I struggled to breathe and tried to push her shoulders away. But before I knew it, she’d hiked up my favourite flared skirt, and I felt her left hand creeping up my thigh.
Panicking, I grabbed her hand to stop her.

“Yu, Yui-san…!?”

I hadn’t expected her to touch me here. Glancing at her, I found her lips pressed against my neck, the tip of her tongue flicking lightly across my skin.

“Yui-san, wait a moment…!”

“Why? You were the one who invited me, weren’t you?”

“I didn’t mean to…”

“You didn’t? Really?”

She chuckled softly, peering into my eyes with those mischievous black orbs. That utterly confident gaze, as if she hadn’t considered rejection for a second, felt strangely familiar.

　Back in university, Yui-san often wore this exact expression.

The pleasure delivered by the fingertips of that left hand, which had captivated so many women, felt like a drug. With each touch of skin, the sensation built endlessly, layering upon layer of bliss. That’s why sex with Yui-san was, just a little, frightening.

“But I haven’t even had a bath yet…”

“Just have a bath then? Fine, let’s have one together.”

She offered me no escape, trapping me in her embrace while smiling brightly.

Deep down, I knew inviting Yui home would inevitably lead to this. If asked whether I’d expected it, I couldn’t say anymore.

　Back in university, she’d pinned me down a few times too, but back then, she always left me an escape route.

“…Yui-san hasn’t been very kind lately…”

When I pouted those words, Yui-san laughed and hugged me tightly.

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just, you look so adorable. If you don’t want to, I won’t do anything. Right? Shall we take a bath together?”

Whenever you say that, I always find myself at a loss.
Because, you see, I’ve never once disliked being touched by you.

＊＊＊

　We squeezed into the tiny bathtub of the studio flat, packed in like sardines. I’d popped in a fluffy, bubbly bath bomb because I felt too shy to be seen naked – and it was the right call.
When she hugged me from behind, the smooth skin touching felt wonderful.

My hair was tied up, leaving my nape exposed. Her lips brushed against it, tickling me just a little. I giggled softly, my voice echoing in the bathroom.

“Sorry the bath’s so small.”

“No, this is better. We get to snuggle together.”

Yui-san’s home had a whirlpool bath easily twice this one’s size.
I felt bad about the cramped space, but since Yui-san seemed happy, perhaps this was fine as it was.

If we could live together again, would we bathe like this every day? I leaned back heavily, then turned just my face towards Yui. She smiled gently, brushed her lips against my cheek, then said, “I’ll wash you,” sliding her palms over my body.

“You’re not planning on doing anything naughty here, are you…?”

Just to be sure, I asked. Yui pulled me tightly against her body.

“It’s alright, I won’t do anything.”

I’d heard that line countless times before. But not once had Yui-san actually done nothing after saying it.

“Really…?”

Turning back with a sceptical look, Yui-san smiled and then whispered in my ear with that particularly sweet voice of hers.

“Of course. …I’ll hold off until we’re in bed.”

Her devilish whisper, hinting at what was to come, sent a shiver deep through my stomach. Startled that my body reacted before my mind could process it, my cheeks flushed hot.

Yui gently kissed my shoulder as I hung my head, unable to speak, then held me tight, ever so tight.