Episode Four

Only my hurrying footsteps echoed along the main street, lit by mana-powered lamps.

Selene hadn’t come home even though it was later than yesterday.

She’d probably arrived back in the capital late and was eating at the guild right now. She’d be tired, maybe hurt too. Staying home wouldn’t settle me anyway, so I might as well at least be useful enough to carry her bags. That was the excuse I gave myself as I threw myself out the door.

The robe billowing in the wind, the dagger swinging at my hip, all of it felt like a nuisance. The heavy bag stuffed with potions and bandaging felt so much in the way I could have thrown it aside right now.

“Selene!!!”

I kicked the door open like I was breaking through it and raised my voice. Every eye in the guild turned to me, but right now I didn’t care at all.

The dining hall. The counter. The stairs. I swept my gaze across every visible corner, but her figure wasn’t there.

Did we miss each other on the way?

The alarm-bell beating in my chest went on and on, painful without relief.

“Becky!!!”

I ran to the face peeking out from behind the counter as though throwing myself at it.

“Selene?! Has she come back already?!”

A near-scream shook the guild.

“She hasn’t come home!! I’ve been waiting and waiting. She hasn’t… come back…”

The strength left my hands and feet and even standing became difficult. I had no reason to be sad, and yet tears were tracing down my cheeks.

“Sion. Calm down.”

Becky’s voice held none of its usual brightness or warmth.

I couldn’t bring myself to look up, my gaze nailed to the dust-dulled floor. I had no idea what expression Becky was wearing.

“Selene hasn’t come back to the guild yet either.”

The words I least wanted to hear split my already-straining chest near open. The nausea wouldn’t stop.

“…I see.”

If Selene wasn’t here, there was no reason to stay. I’d looked at the commission slip, so I had a rough idea of where she was.

I dragged my body toward the guild entrance, crawling almost, and caught sight of adventurers casting worried glances in my direction. If you have no intention of helping, please don’t look at me like that.

I reached for the door, and in that moment someone grabbed my arm, hard.

“Sion. What are you trying to do?”

A voice reached me.

Please don’t get in my way. I have no time for anyone right now.

I tried to shake the arm off, and it pulled me hard again, forcing my body to turn toward the sound.

I turned a sharp look in that direction, and what I saw was Becky with one arm drawn back in a wide swing. Even her usually vivid eyes were lit with a strong anger now.

But her hand didn’t come hard against my cheek. It fell away, spent.

She let out a small breath and opened her mouth.

“…I’ll ask one more time.”

“…What are you trying to do?”

I met Becky’s glistening eyes.

“…I’m, sorry.”

A voice barely there, the kind that would be swallowed whole by an ordinary guild, came out of me.

“…I’m going to find Selene.”

“Please let go of my arm.”

I dropped my gaze to the dirty floor.

I could apologise to her properly later. Right now there wasn’t time for that.

“Absolutely not.”

Becky said it firmly and pulled my arm hard. Caught off guard, I stumbled, and found myself being half-dragged to a nearby chair before I knew it. I was more or less forced into the seat.

“I understand why you’re panicking, Sion. But we guild people can’t let adventurers die for nothing.”

“Do you honestly think you could help Selene going out alone at this hour, in the state you’re in right now?”

My gaze, dropped to the table, wavered. The words tangling in my throat wouldn’t untangle, and only a soundless sound leaked out.

While I stayed silent, the quiet that had fallen over the guild gradually came back to life around us.

“…I know all of that without being told.”

“…But I have to help Selene.”

I knew I was panicking too much. Selene might be back any minute, or she might be planning to stay the night in some nearby village. Throwing myself outside alone in the dangerous dark was reckless, I knew that.

Even so, if something had happened to Selene…

“Leave before sunrise tomorrow.”

“Think again about what Selene would think if she saw you like this right now.”

“…!”

My back teeth ground together with a sharp, tight sound.

“I’m worried about Selene too. The other guild staff are. Everyone here is.”

A pointed, serious voice, but with something gentle hidden inside it as she continued.

“Selene will definitely be all right. Bear with it for tonight.”

“If you need it, I can gather adventurers to help, but what would you like?”

She murmured it, taking my hand gently. The fist that had been clenched tight finally loosened, and my blood-marked palm came into view.

“…I’ll be all right on my own.”

“…Thank you.”

I murmured it quietly and slowly got to my feet.

Whether to go straight home like a good girl, or to ignore Becky’s warning and go to Selene regardless. With feelings all tangled up in my head I couldn’t think clearly. At least step outside and get some air—

Still with unfocused gaze and unsteady feet I headed for the entrance again, and Becky stepped in front of me. Much as I always loved her, right now she was nothing but in the way.

“I’ll walk you home. I can’t let you out alone as you are right now.”

With that she took off her bandana, exchanged a few words with a nearby guild receptionist, and pulled me by the arm out of the guild.

I had no will left to resist. Staying here any longer would only cause more trouble for everyone, and doing that wouldn’t bring Selene back anyway.

After that, for a while, two pairs of footsteps echoed along the quiet main street.

Why I was so panicked. How worried I was about Selene. I talked without direction or purpose, and Becky kept her gentle gaze on me throughout.

“…It’s here. Um…”

I stopped in front of the dark, empty house.

Now that I’d calmed somewhat, guilt toward her finally began to well up. What a selfish person I’d been until a moment ago.

“I’m truly sorry.”

“…This is the first time it’s been like this. Selene not being here is… frightening.”

Holding back the tears pressing upward, I shaped words with a head that had finally cleared. Becky said nothing, holding my hand gently.

“Tomorrow morning I’ll leave the capital and go to where Selene is. We’ll definitely come back together, so—”

“Let me apologise one more time.”

I put strength into the hand holding hers and bowed my head low. I didn’t know whether she would forgive someone like me, but I felt I had to convey the feeling at least.

“All right, all right. When you both get back, I’ll have you buy me a year’s worth of wine and beer.”

“I can tell how worried you are about Selene. But don’t do anything reckless, Sion, you absolutely mustn’t.”

There were street lamps, but compared to daytime this stretch was dim. Even so, Becky’s smile looked as bright as it did in daylight.

I’d thought the reason she always seemed so bright was the vivid bandana she wore. That apparently wasn’t it.

I bowed my head to Becky who stayed to see me off until the door was closed, and closed the door.

Talking with her had settled me somewhat, I thought. Even so the anxiety wasn’t going anywhere, and I wanted to run to Selene right now.

But for now I had no choice but to wait. Without Becky, I wouldn’t even have noticed that much.

If Selene disappeared, I would die too.

That didn’t matter. It wasn’t about me. The thought of never seeing Selene again was more unbearable to me than anything else.

It wouldn’t be long until sunrise, and right now I needed to rest even a little, and go to her with everything I had.

It was hard, but there was nothing else to do.

I dropped my bag at the entrance and found my feet carrying me toward Selene’s room without my deciding it. Maybe here I could feel at least a little of her warmth.

Wrapped in the smell I loved, something in my shoulders finally eased. But this alone wasn’t nearly enough. Tomorrow when I saw Selene I would touch her as much as I wanted and feel her as much as I needed. Nothing less would satisfy me.

In the end I couldn’t sleep, but by the time the sun rose I felt I’d sorted my feelings out somewhat.

Deep shadows still clung under my eyes, but there was strength in my expression, I thought. My hair was tied in pigtails, the balance between left and right not quite even, but it looked like me. Selene could straighten the uneven parts later.

I closed my hand gently around the pendant glowing quietly at my chest, and threw myself out the door.