Episode 92: Yui-san, you really do adore me, don’t you?

We walked hand in hand along the promenade towards the hotel, gazing at the illuminations decorating the tree-lined avenue.

Just before the full onset of winter, as the weather presenter on the morning news programme I watch every day had predicted, this winter was truly bitterly cold. It might well be the coldest winter since I returned to Japan.

　Yet today, I felt so light-hearted, as if walking on clouds, that the winter chill hardly mattered.
The tiny snowflakes that had been falling intermittently since earlier melted away upon touching the ground, adding colour to this Christmas night.
My exhaled breath turned white and dissolved into the air.

Perhaps it was the warmth transmitted through our joined hands. My heart remained steadily, gently warm.

　During those four empty years between us, I spent every Christmas Eve alone.
But now, Yui-san is beside me. If I look over, there you are, right there, gazing at me with such tenderness.

“…Hey, Yui-san.”

“Hmm?”

“You must have been incredibly busy today, yet you made time for me… Thank you.”

“I haven’t done anything worthy of thanks. I just wanted to spend time with you, Kanata.”

She said it so casually, but I know how much she had to squeeze into her schedule to be with me tonight.
I’m glad I became her secretary. If I hadn’t, I might never have realised how much she was doing for me.

“Hehe… Yui-san, you really do adore me, don’t you?”

　When I teased her like that, her dark eyes, reflecting the illumination lights, fixed on me and narrowed gently.

“That’s nothing new, is it? Ever since we were students, I’ve always loved Kanata.”

I knew she’d say that. Overjoyed, I smiled too.

I recalled that Christmas four years ago. Back then, I was already in love with Yui-san.

　But back then, you weren’t my girlfriend, and you belonged to no one.
That fact squeezed my inexperienced heart, leaving a memory that’s bittersweet, a little painful, and just a touch bitter.

“When I was at school, I always thought Yui-san was just teasing me…”

“Eh? I did tell Kanata I liked you, didn’t I?”

“I couldn’t believe that. You clearly said you weren’t going to have a girlfriend… Yui, you were always swapping out different girls to play with, hardly ever coming home. You were always crashing at other girls’ houses.”

Just remembering it made me feel complicated. When I pouted my lips accusingly, Yui laughed evasively.

“Was I? But I don’t think I was seeing anyone else by Christmas, though…”

“Really? Then… Yui, when did you start liking me? What was the trigger?”

Back in school, Yui always told me things like “I like you” or “you’re special”, but she was also seeing other girls at the same time. I had no idea how serious she really was.

　Maybe she said the same thing to everyone. The truth was, that unease never quite left me. Wanting to confirm my suspicions, I asked.

“The trigger? Hmm… If you tell me when you started noticing me, I’ll tell you mine.”

“Eh?”

When did I start noticing her…?

Asked like that, it was difficult. Noticing her… I probably always had. Quite early on, actually.

　Having thought that far, I realised that although I was the one who’d asked the question, somehow the focus had shifted. No good. To avoid getting caught up in Yui-san’s rhythm, I hastily shook my head from side to side.

“That… is a secret.”

“Eh? Why? Tell me. When did you start liking me, Kanata?”

“No way, I’m not telling.”

I turned away, hiding my embarrassment, as she beamed happily.
Because telling her felt a bit awkward. “That long ago?” I thought she might laugh at me.
If I told her, Yui-san would surely be delighted, but now wasn’t the right time.
In this atmosphere, I felt too shy to speak properly.

“If you want to know, you tell me first, Yui-san.”

She squeezed the hand she held in her pocket, digging her nails in sulkily.

Sometimes, I get this overwhelming urge to ask what it is about me she likes. I want her to list every single thing she can think of, beg her to tell me all of them.

I know I couldn’t possibly make such a troublesome request, but even so, I wanted to hear what made you fall for me in the first place.

You always tell me you like me, but even so, I want to hear those words again and again. I want to hear them over and over. Those words, ‘I like you’, meant only for me.

Back in my school days, I think I was a bit more modest. But now, I can’t stop myself from becoming more greedy.

“…Ever since we first met at the airport, I thought you were a cute girl. Living together, it would’ve been impossible not to fall for you. Kanata, you’re just so incredibly cute, it’s unbearable. Before I knew it, I’d fallen for everything about you.”

“…Hmm, I see.”

I lowered my head so Yui couldn’t see my face, forcing my voice to sound utterly uninterested, just like always.
　To that, Yui-san poked my cheek with the finger not holding mine and laughed.

“Oh… Are you blushing? You asked me yourself, yet your face is bright red.”

“I’m not blushing…!”

I was just a bit surprised, never having imagined she’d thought I was cute from the start.

　I puffed out my cheeks and squeezed her hand tightly. Yui-san laughed, saying, “Ouch, ouch!”

“So, what about you, Kanata? Won’t you tell me?”

She nudged my shoulder with hers, making my body sway. I turned my face away abruptly, looking the other way, as if resisting.

“…I’ll tell you another time. Not today.”

“Eh? That’s not fair, Kanata. You said you’d tell me if I said it first!”

Ignoring her discontented voice, I walked on.
We’d soon pass through the tree-lined avenue sparkling with illuminations. The hotel we were heading for was just a little further.

＊＊＊

　The night view of Tokyo from the high-floor restaurant was, unsurprisingly, just as dazzling as the one from our company’s flagship hotel.

The flawlessly clear window reflected the orange lighting and my own reflection, clad in the black dress Yui-san had gifted me.

Yui-san had given me everything for this occasion: the coat, the dress, the shoes, the bag – the whole ensemble.

When I opened the fitting room curtain, Yui-san smiled so genuinely and kept saying how lovely it was — so I somehow got carried away and cheekily accepted the gift after all.

I have no idea how much it all cost. Honestly, I can’t even begin to guess.

While I was eating the chocolate the shop assistant had offered us to pass the time, Yui-san had quietly settled the bill.

　Just having you there, smiling and saying “How lovely” as you looked at me all dressed up, was enough to make me feel utterly, hopelessly happy.

When we sat down at the restaurant, Yui-san ordered a sweet champagne she thought I might enjoy, saying it was a special occasion since it was Christmas.

Back in my student days, I didn’t know much about table manners, but since joining this company – which also runs restaurants – I’ve studied the basics. So I think I’ll be fine today.

　I sat up straighter than usual and draped the pure white table napkin over my lap.

I looked at her across from me. Once again, I thought, Yui really is a remarkable person.
Back in university, she often dressed like a typical student.
Even now, she doesn’t have that typical rich girl vibe about her day-to-day.

　Yet, the moment she steps into a formal setting like this, everything suddenly clicks into place perfectly.
It’s likely down to her innate looks and good upbringing, but that ability to adapt instantly to any situation, like a chameleon, might be a kind of talent.

“What a lovely restaurant… When you work in the same industry, do you ever slip into work mode at times like this?”

It suddenly occurred to me.
　I suppose I can be one thing, but Yui-san is the president; she’s well known at her own company’s hotel, so naturally she can’t go there.
That’s probably why she went to the trouble of booking a hotel belonging to another company. But I couldn’t help wondering just a little – is Yui-san actually enjoying herself?

Feeling a touch uneasy, I asked her that. Yui-san looked straight at me and smiled.

“Hmm, absolutely. I’m only thinking about you, Kanata.”

You say such things so casually, it makes me flush without meaning to. Oh dear, even if the lighting in here is warm-toned, being hit with such a pick-up line head-on means my embarrassment will be obvious in an instant.

“…Your womanising ways remain unchanged, Yui-san.”

I realise that wasn’t the nicest way to put it, but perhaps because she knows my temperament well, Yui-san doesn’t seem particularly bothered and just laughs.

“Do you dislike being told things like this, Kanata?”

Those eyes, dark as the night sea, pierced straight through my heart.

Perhaps I was acting strangely today.

Was it the atmosphere of this restaurant? The breathtaking night view? Or this dress enveloping me…? Every time Yui-san said something, it felt like my heart was being squeezed, a tight ache deep within my chest.

“…Not really. I don’t mind. As long as you don’t say it to anyone else…”

My voice trailed off into a mumble at the end, so I took a sip from my champagne glass to cover it up.

The fizzing carbonation on my tongue, the fruity aroma. Ah, it’s easy to drink. Even I can enjoy this. As expected of Yui-san, she knows my tastes so well.

　Perhaps relieved that I drank without hesitation, Yui-san also picked up her glass.
Bordeaux manicure on neatly trimmed, rounded nails. My gaze became transfixed on those long, white fingers.

　Suddenly, memories of last night flashed back. Like a conditioned reflex, a heat and ache stirred deep within my stomach.
Why? Was it the alcohol? I couldn’t tell. But something felt off. I hurriedly tore my gaze away from those fingers.

Whether she knew or not, Yui-san narrowed her eyes slightly and smiled bewitchingly.

　Her intense, heated gaze, reminiscent of those moments in bed, made me shiver and catch my breath.

What should I do? I find myself conscious of Yui-san more than usual.
It’s strange. We’re just going out for dinner – yet I find myself thinking about what might come next.

“…Somehow, you seem more demure today, Kanata. Even cuter than usual.”

Feeling as if she’d seen straight through me, I didn’t know how to respond and let my gaze wander.

“I’ve booked a room tonight… you’re staying, aren’t you?”

That tone, as if she never expected refusal, was so typical of Yui-san.

But — maybe it was good she invited me so insistently today.

I bowed my head and gave a small nod. Yui-san, right in front of me, smiled happily.