Episode Ninety-Two: Yui-san, You Really Do Love Me So Much
Watching the illuminations decorating the tree-lined path, hand in hand, we walked the promenade toward the hotel.
Just before proper winter set in, the weather forecaster on the morning news show I always watch had said it — and true to his word, this winter really had been brutally cold. Maybe the coldest since I came back to Japan.
But tonight, that winter chill barely registered at all, and I felt almost like I was walking on clouds, giddy.
Tiny snow flurries, drifting on and off since earlier, landed on the ground and melted away, slow, coloring the Christmas night.
My breath came out white, dissolving into the sky.
Maybe it’s the warmth traveling through our joined hands. My heart’s felt warm this whole time, gentle, steady.
Through the four blank years between us, I always got through Christmas nights alone.
But now, Yui-san’s right beside me. I only need to glance over, and there you are, looking at me with such fondness.
“…Hey, Yui-san.”
“Mm?”
“You must have been so busy today, and yet you made time… thank you.”
“Nothing to thank me for. I just wanted to spend the day with you.”
Said so easily, but I know exactly how much Yui-san packed into her schedule just to make tonight happen.
I’m glad I became her secretary. If I hadn’t, I might never have noticed just how much she does for me.
“Fufu… Yui-san, you really do love me so much.”
Saying it, teasing, her black eyes, catching the glow of the illuminations, looked steadily at me and narrowed, gentle.
“That’s nothing new, is it? Since college, right up to now, I’ve always loved you, so much.”
I’d known she’d say something like that. Happy, I laughed too.
I thought back to that Christmas, four years ago. Back then, I’d already fallen for Yui-san.
But you weren’t my girlfriend then, and you never became anyone’s, not really.
That fact, weighing on the heart of someone hopelessly clueless about love, remains, even now, a memory both sweet and painfully bitter.
“Back in college, I always thought you were just teasing me…”
“Eh? I told you I loved you, properly, didn’t I?”
“I could never believe it. You’d said, plainly, you’d never make a girlfriend… And you kept swapping girls, playing around, barely ever coming home. Always crashing at some other girl’s place.”
Just remembering it stirs up complicated feelings. Lips pursed, accusing, Yui-san laughed, deflecting.
“Did I? But I don’t think I was seeing anyone else, right before Christmas…”
“Really? Then… Yui-san, when did you actually fall for me? What was the reason?”
Back in college, you always told me I was “special,” that you “liked” me — but you were seeing other girls at the same time, so I never had any way of knowing how serious you really were.
Maybe you said the same thing to everyone. That unease had never fully left me. Wanting to finally settle it, I asked.
“The reason, huh. Hmm… if you tell me when you started noticing me, I’ll tell you too.”
“Eh.”
When did I start noticing her — ?
Asked that, it’s a hard one. I think… probably the whole time. And, honestly, from pretty early on.
Thinking that far, I realized — I’d been the one asking the question, and somehow it had gotten turned right back around on me. Not good. Careful not to get swept along at her pace, I scrambled to shake my head, side to side.
“That’s… a secret.”
“Ehh? Why? Tell me. When did you fall for me?”
“No, I won’t say.”
Smiling, so happily, delighted, I turned away, hiding my embarrassment.
Because telling her that felt a little too embarrassing. I felt like she might laugh — that early?
Telling her would surely make her happy, but the timing doesn’t have to be now.
In this kind of atmosphere, I don’t think I could manage to say it properly, too flustered.
“If you want to know, tell me first.”
Gripping our joined hands tight inside her pocket, I dug my nails in, sulking.
Sometimes, I get this sudden, overwhelming urge to ask exactly what she likes about me. Wanting her to list every single thing she can think of, wanting to beg her to tell me all of it.
I could never actually ask for something that troublesome, but I still wanted to hear, at least, what had made her fall for me in the first place.
She always says “I love you” — and yet, even so, I want that word more, and more. However many times, I want to keep hearing it. That “I love you,” meant only for me.
Back in college, I think I was a little more modest about it. But now, I can’t stop this growing greed in myself.
“…I thought you were cute, from the very first time I saw you, at the airport. Living together, there was no way not to fall for you. You’re just so unbearably cute, Kanata. Before I knew it, I’d fallen for everything about you.”
“…Hmm, is that right.”
Ducking my head so she couldn’t see my face, I forced out my voice, casual, disinterested, matching my usual tone as carefully as I could manage.
Watching me, Yui-san poked my cheek with her free hand and laughed.
“Wait… are you maybe blushing? You’re the one who asked, and your face is bright red.”
“I’m not blushing, not at all…!”
I’d never once imagined she’d found me cute from the very start, so I was just a little surprised, that’s all.
Puffing my cheeks out, I squeezed her hand tight, and Yui-san laughed, “ow, ow.”
“So, Kanata? Won’t you tell me?”
Shoulder bumping mine, my whole body swayed. Resisting, I turned my face away, pointed, refusing to look at her.
“…I’ll tell you some other time. Not today.”
“Ehh? That’s not fair, only you get to hold back. You said you’d tell me if I went first.”
Ignoring her displeased voice, I kept walking.
The tree-lined path, glittering with lights, was nearly behind us now. Not much further to the hotel.
＊＊＊
The Tokyo night view from the high-rise restaurant, expected as it was, glittered no less beautifully than the view from our own celebrated hotel.
In the spotless, gleaming windows, orange lighting reflected back, along with my own figure, dressed in the black gown Yui-san had bought me.
Yui-san had given me the coat, the dress, the shoes, the bag — all of it, together, as a present.
Opening the fitting room curtain, Yui-san had smiled, so genuinely happy, calling me “cute” over and over — and, caught up in that, I’d shamelessly ended up accepting the whole gift.
I have no idea what the total came to. Honestly, I can’t even imagine.
While I ate the chocolate a staff member had offered during the wait, Yui-san had, without my noticing, already finished settling the bill.
Just having you here, smiling, calling me “cute” while looking at me dressed up like this, is enough to make me hopelessly, helplessly happy.
*
Once we were seated at the restaurant, Yui-san, saying it was Christmas after all, ordered a sweet champagne she thought I’d be able to manage.
Back in college, I hadn’t known much about table manners, but since joining this company — which runs a restaurant business too — I’d studied the basics properly. So I think I’ll be fine tonight.
Sitting straighter than usual, I laid the pure white table napkin across my lap.
I looked at her, across from me. Yui-san really is such a strange person, I found myself thinking, all over again.
Back in college, she’d often dressed like an ordinary college student, casual.
Even now, day to day, she doesn’t especially carry that “typical wealthy young lady” air.
And yet, the moment she steps into a formal setting like this, everything about her falls into place, instantly.
Probably thanks to natural looks and good upbringing, but that chameleon-like ability to adapt instantly to any setting might be its own kind of talent.
“What a lovely restaurant… Working in the same industry, does coming to a place like this ever put you in work mode?”
I found myself wondering, suddenly.
Setting me aside — Yui-san, as president, is a recognizable face, so of course she couldn’t go to our own company’s hotel.
Which is surely why she’d booked a competitor’s hotel instead — but I found myself a little curious whether Yui-san herself was actually enjoying the evening properly.
A little anxious, I asked, and Yui-san looked straight at me and smiled.
“Nnh, not at all. I’m only thinking about you, Kanata.”
Said so easily, I couldn’t help flushing red. Ugh, however warm-toned the restaurant lighting is, being told something that flirtatious, straight to my face, will surely give away how flustered I am, instantly.
“…Your skirt-chasing habit hasn’t changed a bit, has it, Yui-san.”
I know it wasn’t a cute thing to say, but Yui-san, knowing my personality well enough by now, didn’t seem to mind at all, and laughed.
“Do you hate hearing things like that, Kanata?”
Those black eyes, like a nighttime sea, pierced straight through my heart.
Maybe something’s off with me tonight.
Whether it’s the atmosphere of this restaurant, or the spectacular night view, or this dress wrapped around me… every time Yui-san says something, my chest tightens, aching, like my heart’s been seized.
“…I don’t hate it, exactly. Just, don’t say it to anyone but me…”
My voice trailed off into a mumble toward the end, and, covering for it, I brought the champagne glass to my lips.
Bubbles popping on my tongue, a fruity aroma. Ah, this is easy to drink. Even I could enjoy this properly. As expected of Yui-san — she really does know my taste well.
Apparently relieved I could drink it without resistance, Yui-san picked up her own glass too.
Smoothly rounded nails, done in a burgundy polish. My gaze caught, helpless, on those white, long fingers.
Suddenly, last night’s memory flashed back. Reflexive, something deep in my stomach warmed, ached.
Why — is it the alcohol? I don’t know. But something feels off. Flustered, I tore my eyes away from her fingers.
Whether she noticed or not, Yui-san narrowed her eyes and smiled, alluring.
That heated, intense gaze — exactly like when we’re in bed — sent a shiver through me, and I caught my breath.
What do I do. I’m more aware of Yui-san than usual, tonight.
Strange. We’re just about to have dinner, and yet — I find myself thinking ahead, to what comes after.
“…Somehow, tonight’s Kanata feels extra demure, extra cute.”
Feeling like she’d seen straight through my thoughts, I didn’t know how to answer and let my gaze wander.
“I booked a room for tonight… you’re staying, right?”
Her tone made it clear she never considered the possibility of being refused — so exactly like Yui-san.
But — maybe being pulled along like this, forceful, was exactly what I wanted tonight, after all.
Ducking my head, I gave a small nod, and, across from me, Yui-san smiled, happy.