Episode 61: 17 Years Old (3)

‘Shall we have lunch?’

When Endo-san said that, we headed for the food court inside the zoo.

There was a wide variety of food on offer, including lots of cute-shaped dishes like polar bear curry rice and bear-shaped hamburgers.

Endo-san was staring intently at the polar bear curry.

‘If it’s bothering you that much, why don’t you have the polar bear curry rice?’
‘I’m not a child, so I won’t.’
Saying that, Endo-san looked a bit sulky and walked away.

In the end, Endo-san had a regular set meal.

　I realised, somewhat unexpectedly, that Endo-san actually cares about coming across as childish. As I was thinking about this whilst eating, Endo-san reached out her hand.

‘Takizawa, you’ve got a grain of rice on your cheek.’

Saying that, Endo-san touched my cheek.
At my age, I felt embarrassed to have a grain of rice on my cheek, and I felt the heat rise to my face.

‘I can take it off myself.’

Saying that, I decided to play down my embarrassment.

　In the end, I’m just the same.
I hate acting childish.

I can’t remember when it started, but even though I’m still young enough to be a child, I want to act grown-up. Even though there’s really no need to try so hard, we still try. That’s why there are times when life feels suffocating.

Because Endo-san did something strange, we ended up eating lunch in an awkward atmosphere.

　We decided to head to the petting area in the afternoon.

Rabbits, guinea pigs, chinchillas and ferrets usually feel like the standard animals in petting areas, but this zoo had a few dogs there too.

A large Labrador and a friendly Shiba Inu seemed to be on duty today.

Their name tags read ‘Gon’ and ‘Kon’.
　Gon, the Labrador, wagged his tail energetically and came over to me.
He felt big and reassuring to the touch. Perhaps he’d taken a liking to me, as he started licking my face.

‘Hehe, that tickles. Stop it.’
Just as I was saying that and messing about with Gon, Endo-san picked him up, separating me from him.

I was just starting to enjoy myself—

　Gon was panting heavily and looked rather forlorn. Yet, for some reason, Endo-san looked even more forlorn.

She really does resemble a large dog.

‘Takizawa, do you like Labradors?’

If you asked me if I actually liked them, I wouldn’t say I did. I’d just become vaguely interested in them because they resemble Endo-san. But having just interacted with Gon, I think I do like them.

‘Yeah, maybe so.’

Endo-san let go of Gon with a look of dissatisfaction and sat down on the floor. After a while, Mii-chan the cat came over to Endo-san’s lap.
Perhaps she found Endo-san’s lap comfortable, because she wouldn’t leave.

Just then, a keeper came over and said,
‘It’s rare for Mii-chan to get so attached. She must really like you. Mii-chan is usually so aloof and hardly ever opens up to anyone,” she said cheerfully.

Mii-chan was purring as if begging Endo-san to stroke her. When Endo-san did so, she seemed satisfied and fell asleep on her lap.

Endo-san’s hands gently cradled the cat. Surely, even aloof Mii-chan had been soothed by such gentle hands.

‘Endo-san, she’s completely taken to you, hasn’t she?’
‘I can’t move now.’
‘Well then, I suppose I’ll just head home like this.’
‘Eh! Wait a minute!’

Endo-san’s reaction today was so amusing that I couldn’t help but want to tease her a bit.

However, I realised I was starting to resemble Mayo-nee when she teases people, and as I don’t like taking after my sister, I decided to stop teasing her any further.

Before we knew it, we’d seen almost everything at the zoo, and the sky was turning red.

‘When you think of the zoo, you’ve got to get some souvenirs, haven’t you?’

Endo-san headed straight for the souvenir shop and started putting things like biscuits decorated with animal pictures into her basket.

‘Aren’t you going to buy anything to take home, Takizawa?’

‘I’m not buying anything.’

I’m not really keen on souvenirs.
Whether it’s food or trinkets, seeing them just makes me remember that day.

I think I enjoyed myself far more than I expected today. I was having fun regardless of it being my birthday.

　This sort of thing isn’t good.
All I can see is a future where I’ll look back on how much fun I had then and feel sad.

However, no matter how hard I try not to make memories with Endo-san, it just doesn’t work out.

As I wandered aimlessly around the shop, a polar bear keyring caught my eye.
Endo-san had been staring at it the whole time.

She’s been looking at nothing but polar bears since a while ago.

　If she wants it that much, she should just buy it…

‘Aren’t you going to buy it?’
‘I’m not a child, so I’m not buying a keyring.’
‘Don’t you want it?’
‘I do think it’s cute, though.’

Saying that, Endo-san wandered off to another part of the shop.

There, I was left alone with the polar bear keyring that Endo-san had said was cute.

‘I’ve bought loads of souvenirs. I wonder if I should give some to the kids in the club too. Thanks for coming along, Takizawa.’

Endo-san looks quite pleased with herself.
I feel like I’ve seen a whole different side of Endo-san today.

What I’m about to do might turn Endo-san’s current look of satisfaction into a displeased expression, or perhaps a look of confusion.

But I don’t care what her reaction is.

I’m doing this now simply because I want to.

I take the polar bear keyring out of my pocket.

‘Eh? Why do you have this?’
‘Because I could tell you wanted one, but you’d never buy it yourself, no matter what.’
‘But it’s so childish…’

Endo-san doesn’t look like she’s going to take it. And, sure enough, she’s looking troubled.

　She always tries to act grown-up in the strangest situations.
It’s not as if there’s anything wrong with wearing something childish.

She really ought to put herself first, but I suppose she’s got into the habit of conforming to the opinions and circumstances of those around her.

I knew Endo-san would say she didn’t want it because it was childish.

I’m the sort of person who prepares thoroughly.

I pull another polar bear charm out of my pocket.

‘I’ll wear one too. That way, it won’t be embarrassing, will it?’

Saying that, I attached the polar bear to the black shoulder bag I’d brought with me today.

Endo-san stared at me with eyes wide as saucers.

It might be childish, but so what? We’re surely still children ourselves.

Ignoring Endo-san, who was frozen in surprise, I placed the polar bear in her hand.

Endo-san stared at it for a while, then attached the polar bear to the beige bag she’d brought with her today.

She gazed at the polar bear with such a look of tenderness. She looked just like a child who’d been given something they’d been wanting.

‘Thank you, Takizawa. I’ll treasure this for the rest of my life…’

Thinking to myself that it wasn’t really anything that grand, we left the zoo, reluctant to leave.