Episode One Hundred and Thirty-Eight

“Properly, you say?”

A gulp sounded. None other than from my own throat.
Still clutching my hand, Ibara smiled.
No. Her mouth was smiling, but her eyes were not.

“This is what I mean.”

Ibara’s lips drew closer to the back of my hand.
　A kiss landed.
Chu, chu, sucking along the slender bones. Past the knuckles, the second joint of my middle finger, the first joint. Then, the fingertip.
My skin bubbled all over, as if some strange potion had been poured over me. A shiver ran down my spine at the illusion of my hair standing on end.
Ibara opened her mouth.
Gulp.

“Ah!”

Finger. Seized.

“W-wait, what—”

“What? Heh, I’ll do it back to you.”

Each time Ibara spoke, her hot tongue and lips brushed irregularly against the finger.
A shiver ran through me. The pit of my stomach grew hot, as if boiling.
Ibara’s tongue moved.

“Hmph—”

I bit my lower lip instinctively, stifling a sound.
Sure enough, when I glared, our eyes met, her tawny gaze locking with mine.
Still holding my finger, Ibara smiled.

“Feels nice?”

“Dummy!”

Even as I said it, my hand wouldn’t move.
If I disliked it, I could simply pull away and shake her off.
But my fingertips were numb, and I couldn’t move.
Staring intently at me, Ibara lowered the corners of her eyes as if seeing right through me.
My cheeks grew even hotter.
This was wrong.
　The lewd sound of saliva, the sticky heat, my fingertips glistening wet with spit.
No matter what, it made me imagine, conjure up ‘what comes next’.

“Hey, Shigure-san.”

Ibara looked at me with eyes like a dog denied a treat.
Her lips quivered, as if trying to say something. She drew in a breath, held it.
But in the end, Ibara said nothing, and instead began sucking my finger with force.

“I-it—”

“Mm, ahm.”

As if releasing something, she sucked repeatedly, slurping noisily.
The suction was almost painful. It wasn’t just sucking and licking. Eventually, she even began gently biting with her front teeth.

“Yaaah!”

The sweet pain finally made me cry out.
Ibara’s movements stopped abruptly, as if startled.
Her lips pulled away.
A silver thread stretched between them.
My middle finger, which had been teased relentlessly, was completely red and bruised all the way to the base.

“Ah… I’m… I’m sorry.”

Ibara said, looking flustered.

“Eh?”

“Does it hurt?”

“It’s fine, fine.”

“I see…”

Ibara exhaled in relief, stared intently at my face, then continued in a deflated voice.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been selfish again. I promised I wouldn’t do that sort of thing until I’d graduated.”

Seeing her bow her head made my chest ache.
　Truthfully, I knew. I knew Ibara had been enduring it all along.
That she’d been suppressing her voice late at night or early in the morning, enduring it alone.
I knew. It was obvious that this would happen if we ended up bathing together, just the two of us.
And yet, it was me who chose the family bath.
Because I didn’t want anyone, anyone at all, to see Ibara naked.
It was my ego.

“──Ibara”

I leaned back against the cypress tub, spreading my arms wide.

“I’ll let you hug me. Come here.”

“…Is that alright?”

Ibara’s eyes darted from side to side.
She was hesitating.
This time, I seized her wrist.
Pulling her close, I held her slender body against mine, the rippling water clinging to us.
Our skin pressed together, damp with the viscous water, clinging like suction.

“Ah—”

I heard Ibara gasp.
I wrapped my arms around her back and held her tight.
For a while, we stayed like that, silent.
As I stroked her back, the tension slowly drained from Ibara’s body.
Still holding her, I asked.

“Is it still hard for you?”

“Eh? …Ah. Eh, and…”

After a moment’s confusion, perhaps realising my intent, she fell silent, stammering.
After a pause, Ibara spoke.

“…………Just a little.”

Her face buried in my décolletage, she mumbled indistinctly.

“Because you’re beautiful, Shigure-san.”

“Er, thank you?”

“And you’re naughty. …Your very existence.”

“I’d like to argue with that.”

Ignoring my protest, Ibara continued.

“I’m weird.”

“Weird?”

“When I’m close to you, my stomach gets all knotted up, my heart aches, and my head goes all fuzzy.”

She said this while rubbing her forehead against my collarbone.

“I know I should hold back. And it’s only been half a year. You took away my fears. There’s no need to rush anymore. I said I wouldn’t rush. But still—”

Ibara lifted her face.

“I just can’t hold back at all.”

A sound like a sob escaped her.

“I want to touch you, and I want you to touch me. When I said I wanted to soothe you, Shigure-san? That was a lie too. The truth is—”

Her voice caught for just an instant before she shook it off.

“The truth is, I just wanted to touch you myself.”

“…Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“Don’t hate me.”

“I said I won’t.”

“I’m weird, aren’t I?”

“What’s weird?”

“Because wanting to touch you this much is weird. It’s strange…”

“It’s not strange. Not at all.”

“Liar.”

Her tawny eyes, glazed with fever, looked at me from point-blank range.

“It is a lie. Liking someone this much isn’t normal…”

I couldn’t hold back any longer.
I placed my hand on her cheek and pressed my lips to hers.
　Softly crushed and pressed together.
I felt if I used my tongue, I wouldn’t be able to hold back, so I pulled away immediately.
Ibara said, reluctantly.

“…Is it really no good?”

“That is no good.”

“…Ugh…”

Tears welled up at the corners of her eyes.

“Ibara, this is an important time for you too, right?”

“Yeah, but…”

Me too.
　Once this trip ends, the whirlwind days begin. I can’t look away from that reality.

“Exams are important. You have to take them seriously.”

“I know, but…”

…Well, what can you do.

“Hugs? You can have as many as you like, until you get dizzy.”

“…What about kisses?”

“…In moderation.”

“Mm.”

Her lips drew near.
Repeating kisses like a bird pecking, we shifted our position, pressing our skin together deeply.
With the most casual of movements, Ibara’s thigh slipped between mine.
The breath touching my ear grew ever so slightly irregular.
Pretending not to notice the secretive movement, I looked up at the sky.
　The words I’d spoken to Ibara echoed back to me.
It was clear to me too that this was a crucial time.
Finding clients, gaining recognition and connections, and then, and then.
We each had things we needed to do.
We stood at a crossroads in our lives.
So then, for example.
Just for now, I shook my head at the option that flashed through my mind.
It was precisely because we couldn’t do that that we were here together like this.