Episode 50: Lingering Attachment
When I opened my eyes, an unfamiliar ceiling spread out, hazy, above me.
For a moment, I didn’t know where I was.
Blinking slowly, again and again, I tried to get my head working.
The feel of a soft blanket, a faint unfamiliar scent, a slight lingering heaviness in my body.
—Ah, right. Shiori’s place.
Understanding that much, I still couldn’t quite bring myself to move, not until I was fully awake.
My body felt heavy.
Like something, somewhere, was holding me in place.
…No.
I actually was being held in place.
My arm.
My arm was caught in someone’s hand.
I didn’t need to think about who.
“…Shiori…?”
I said her name in a hoarse voice, and the warmth pulled away immediately.
A voice came back, sounding just slightly startled.
“…Oh, you’re up?”
Maybe because she’d just woken too, I couldn’t quite read Shiori’s expression.
But her voice carried its usual, composed atmosphere.
“Yeah… I think I slept a bit too long.”
I murmured it, still drowsy, and Shiori laughed softly.
“That’s fine, isn’t it? You were tired.”
As she said it, her fingertips combed lightly through my hair, near my forehead.
At the gentleness of that touch, my shoulders tensed, just for an instant.
“…Mm.”
When I reflexively tried to pull back, Shiori’s fingers slipped quietly away.
“Sorry, did you not like that?”
“…It’s not that I didn’t like it.”
Even as I answered, some feeling that didn’t quite sit right remained in the depths of my chest.
Shiori’s fingertips are different from Honoka’s.
The feel of them, the warmth — everything about them is different.
And yet, being close to her like this doesn’t feel wrong, either.
It’s not that I dislike it. If anything, I can even feel calm.
—But that’s all it is.
There’s no sense of my heart being shaken.
No feeling of being fulfilled.
None of that helpless sense of relief I get when Honoka touches me, none of that tightness in my chest.
“…Honoka.”
The name slipped out unconsciously, and I could tell Shiori’s fingers moved, just slightly.
“…Are you still thinking about Shiraishi-san?”
Shiori’s voice was quiet.
“…It’s not that I’m thinking about her, exactly…”
I couldn’t put it into words properly.
I just didn’t know how to explain the discomfort sitting in the depths of my chest.
“…Yuna-chan, hearing you say that stings a little, honestly.”
There was something firm, something resolute in Shiori’s voice.
“Because, you know — I really do like you. Seriously.”
At those words, my eyes went wide despite myself.
Even so, Shiori’s expression stayed somehow composed, a faint smile rising to her lips.
“But you still can’t let go of Shiraishi-san, can you.”
At that single line, I felt something catch in my chest.
I tried to make an excuse, but the words wouldn’t come out properly.
“…I don’t really like that you’re still hung up on Shiraishi-san, Yuna-chan.”
Shiori’s eyes sharpened, just slightly.
Under that gaze, I found myself holding my breath without meaning to.