Episode Eight: Rio Kakei: Past Story 5 ―March 2025―
Upon being told we’d arrived, I stepped out of the car and immediately spotted the Tokyo Skytree nearby.
“Did you want to show me the Skytree, Hisako-san?”
“Boo-hoo, wrong. Come on, let’s walk a bit.”
I’ve never been able to refuse Hisako-sensei’s gentle yet insistent invitations. I hurried to catch up with her as she started walking ahead.
We strolled together, admiring the cherry blossoms blooming along the riverbank, though they weren’t yet in full bloom. Though spring had arrived on the calendar, the wind blowing in from the river was cold enough to make me shiver.
“Did you know? The Sumida River is also said to be a place associated with The Tales of Ise.”
“…Could it be because it appears in ‘The Journey East’?”
“Oh, well done. Otowabashi Bridge too, ‘If my name is known, then let me ask the capital’s bird: Is the one I think of there or not?’… Apparently it was named after this waka poem.”
“You mentioned Ariwara no Narihira before too, Hisako-san. Do you like him?”
“Not particularly. But he does have a certain romantic appeal. They say he was a handsome chap who could charm any girl.”
Seeing Hisako-san smile as she said this, my own lips curved into a faint smile.
“Hmm, it’s cold, isn’t it? Rio, shall we walk closer together?”
“I think it’s best not to. It might cause trouble if someone from the school sees us.”
“Why? We’re teacher and student, but it should be fine, shouldn’t it? We’re both women.”
Somehow, it felt off. That familiar, unpleasant haze I couldn’t quite put into words started to form.
As we walked, Hisako-san stated matter-of-factly.
“I’m sure you know this, Rio, but at our school, homeroom teachers absolutely change every year. So, I won’t be your homeroom teacher from next year.”
“I see… Thank you for everything until now.”
“Heh heh, isn’t that a bit too dry? Very like you, though. …Well? Will you miss me?”
“Yes, I will. You’ve been so kind to me.”
“That honesty is one of your strengths, you know. Remember that.”
I knew the homeroom teachers changed every year and had braced myself for it. I thought the blow would be less severe, but saying “I’ll miss you” honestly, face to face, made it suddenly real and hit me hard.
Noticing my faltering steps and shortening stride, Hisako-san suddenly stopped and stood before me.
She looked straight at me, directly, head-on.
“Neither The Tales of Ise nor The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter has been definitively attributed to any single author. But it’s certain that only ‘that person’, whose name we don’t know, could have written those stories. …Rio, you tend to worry that your sensibilities and values are slightly askew compared to others, but don’t fear being different or isolated. I want you to weave the story of your life – a story only you could tell.”
I remember every single word Hisako-san said at that moment.
In fact, I recall everything clearly: the scent of the wind, the state of the cherry blossoms.
Even now, I wonder if I shouldn’t have realised. But at the same time… I’m also glad it was Hisako-san who made me aware of that first emotion.
“…So this is it…”
The words that slipped from my lips unbidden were carried away by the wind, never reaching Hisako-san’s ears.
“Hm? What is it, Rio? You look rather strange, somehow.”
“…Nothing. I was just thinking maybe I’ve finally caught up to your poetic prowess.”
“Ah— you’re mocking me!”
Hisako-sensei laughed as she smoothed my wind-tossed hair with her fingers.
“Actually, that was rather presumptuous of me. Don’t think of me as old, alright? Sure, I’m an auntie to high school girls, but I’m only twenty-four! I should still count as young!”
“…I don’t think so. To me, Hisako-san will always be, and forever remain, someone very important.”
Hearing my reply, which didn’t quite connect with the conversation before or after, Hisako-san laughed as she always did. But I think I’ll never forget it.
Even if Hisako-san were to forget me in the future, I will always remember.
That day, for the first time, I understood what it meant to like someone.
◆
After the end-of-term ceremony, I was summoned to the back of the school building by Kojima-san.
Braced for the worst, my negative expectations were completely overturned when she bowed deeply.
“Kakei-san, I’m truly sorry. I’ve been filled with regret ever since… I was so bitter about losing the top spot in our year that I did something unbelievably cruel, something I can’t even believe I did…”
“Apologies and excuses won’t justify what you did.”
“Yes… I won’t argue. All I can do is apologise. I even thought it was fine if you retaliated or told the teacher, and I couldn’t stop myself… I truly think I was the worst.”
“I don’t quite follow. Did you actually want me to tell?”
“I wanted to completely shatter that image of me as the perfect, top-of-the-class model student. Maintaining that image everyone had of me felt like a huge burden… suffocating. If I wasn’t the model student anymore, then even if I didn’t get top of the year, I wouldn’t disappoint my parents or friends.”
“Model student… you call yourself that?”
“Well, yes. But being the villain just wasn’t me. The guilt made it even harder to study. Whether there was pressure or not, just pushing myself was always easier.”
Shirogasaki-san lifted her face and stared intently into my eyes, then laughed bitterly.
“And yet, Kakei-san, you never did anything about such a selfish, childish me. Thanks to you, I woke up to what I was doing.”
“…And? Do you want to hear me say I forgive you or not?”
“No, you don’t have to forgive me. I just need to apologise myself.”
Truly, it was infuriatingly self-centred. This dark side of her – kind, academically brilliant, popular – was probably known only to me in the class.
“…So, can I go now?”
“Yes. I didn’t think you’d come, so thank you for your time. …You might not believe me, but I like that about you, Kakei-san.”
“Oh.”
For someone like me who struggles to understand people’s hearts, there was no way I could tell whether Shirogasaki-san was lying or speaking her true feelings. So, brushing it off casually, I started walking away.
“I won’t lose to you in the next test, you hear?”
I didn’t respond to the declaration of war that reached me over my shoulder.
Over the next two years until graduation, I maintained first place in Japanese throughout the year, but my overall ranking wasn’t consistently top.
While my episodes with Shirogasaki-san aren’t exactly fond memories, she remains one of the few classmates I still remember even now, long after graduating high school – despite my terrible knack for remembering faces and names.