Sleeping Beauty and the First Night

“…Shigure-san?”

No reply.
I thought it couldn’t be, but it was exactly that.
This person is asleep.
Eh?
I did think she looked rather cute when she dozed off.
But I never imagined she’d actually fall asleep on my lap. Must have been terribly tired.
Lately, Shigure-san’s behaviour had been strange.
　The frequency with which she’d glance at my profile, the gaze I felt when we parted in the mornings. Her reaction when our hands touched unexpectedly.
All of it had been changing, little by little. I may be past my prime, but I was once dubbed ‘Charles’s Love Machine’. I’m sensitive to such shifts.
So I’d noticed everything, and yet I’d pretended not to know.
I brushed the fringe from her forehead.
Shigure-san’s skin was faintly damp with sweat, clammy.

“Did you really fall asleep?”

I poked her cheek with my finger.
A sucking sensation, firm to the touch. The soft, springy feel, perhaps the effect of the hot springs? Or maybe not.
I stroked the nape of her neck with my right hand.
Shigure-san’s skin was beautiful, smooth and silky.
I withdrew my hand before I couldn’t hold back any longer.
Even if we were mutual, attacking someone while they slept wasn’t right. Yeah, yeah, I know.
I know, but…

“…Haaah…”

I expelled everything from my lungs and looked up at the ceiling.
I could see the woodgrain.
One, two stains that looked like faces. Well, maybe not that much.
Trying to distract myself like that was pointless.

“…Ending it here, you idiot, Shigure.”

A smouldering heat gnawed at my gut.
The sensation lingered, unyielding, at my fingertips. The warmth radiating from damp skin, the elasticity of muscle and fat beneath the surface – things like that.
I’d always imagined the day I’d be forgiven. I’d even dreamt of it.
So, it should have made me happy when it finally happened.
　But.
Even after being allowed to do whatever I pleased, I still feel it’s nowhere near enough.
I know, it’s ridiculous.
But I want to see more.
I want to touch more, lick more, bite more.
This gentle person’s vulnerable side, stripped of composure.
The blush on their cheeks, the scent of sweat, the tremor in their sweet, damp voice.
I want all of it to be mine.
　Yet here you are, Shigure-san, snoring peacefully.
How awful. Terrible. Absolutely dreadful.
If you’re going to act like an adult, then take responsibility properly.

“…………Ugh…”

This won’t do. If I stay like this, my frustration will drive me mad.
I gently lowered Shigure-san’s head from my lap and switched off the room lights with the remote.
　I lay down on the double bed, larger than usual.
A rustling sound like leaves came from outside the window. The second hand of the wall clock ticked away the time.
Lying right beside her, I breathed in Shigure-san’s exhaled breath. The oxygen fell into my lungs, carried by my blood to fill my entire body. This sweet, soapy scent… is it her body soap?

“…Mm…”

Hot breath escaped me.
　Without realising, I’d been rubbing my knees together.
A lewd, wet sound echoed from the core of my heated body.
Oh, come on, it’s not my fault. It’s all Shigure-san’s fault, you know.
So, whatever I do next, the responsibility lies with Shigure-san.
Gazing at Shigure-san’s sleeping face close by, I touched the core of my body through the gap in my yukata.

　†

Truly, I was glad the room had its own bath.
I’d give my past self top marks.
Quietly slipping through the glass door, I rinsed away sweat and other bodily fluids in the shower, trying not to make a sound.
I put my yukata back on and returned to the room.

“Ibara”

“Eek!”

“Ah, sorry”

Before I knew it, Shigure-san had woken up. I was startled.

“Oh, did I wake you?”

“Sorry, I must have dozed off.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“So, um…”

Shigure-san’s eyes, filled with moonlight, darted left and right.
Her unfocused gaze locked onto me, her lips trembling hesitantly. A look of uncertainty, yet also of resolve.
My heart began pounding wildly.

“Well, you see…”

I had this incredibly bad feeling.

“Well, everyone does that sort of thing. In a way, you could even call it healthy. It’s not like it’s forbidden or anything, obviously.”

“Wait.”

“Yes?”

“Um… wait a moment.”

“Right.”

“…………………………Shigure-san. Were you awake?”

“Well, part of the time.”

Right, I might as well die.

“You could die if you jumped from the sixth floor, right?”

“Wait, wait, wait!”

“Goodbye, Shigure-san. I’ve always loved you. Let’s get married in the next life.”

“Don’t talk about such unlucky things. I really don’t mind. See?”

“Of course you do!”

“…Well, I did think it might be a bit much to do it in front of people. And I was worried about you getting your yukata dirty, or something.”

“Waaaaaaaah!!”

Aaaaaah, I want to die. I want to die almost as much as when I found out I was graduating from ‘Charles’.
I want to erase everything. At the very least, I want to erase Shigure-san’s memories.

“Aaaaaah!!”

After literally rolling around on the bed in agony, I pointed at the small built-in fridge.

“Alcohol!”

“Huh?”

“Shigure-san, drink alcohol now! It was in the fridge, so drink it all and forget everything!”

“I’d rather not, normally…”

She muttered, “I’m not a strong drinker anyway.”
But that’s precisely why!

“Besides, I seem to have a weird drinking habit…”

“Just drink it. You don’t have to enjoy it, just forget it.”

“Nah, it’s too late for that now.”

“Huh?”

Time froze once more.
Shigure-san averted her gaze. Wait, wait.
Could it be…?

“Because Ibara, you sometimes… did it in my bed, right?”

“Huh?”

My breath caught.
No way. No way, no way, no way, no way.

“Wh-wh-why? But Shigure-san, you were asleep…”

“I noticed. You were sleeping right next to me.”

“……………….”

It’s over.
Jumping off would be quicker, wouldn’t it?
As I silently headed for the balcony, Shigure-san grabbed my sleeve and said.

“Um, Ibara. I really don’t mind, you know.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not lying. It’s not that I don’t mind, it’s more like… well…”

She swallowed hard.

“I… I thought it was cute.”

“…………………What?”

“So, um. The fact you couldn’t hold back and did it yourself, it was cute… That’s why I couldn’t say anything… But, this is a ryokan after all…”

　I, I don’t get it.
I mean, cute? That it’s cute to do it yourself next to your sleeping lover? Is that even a thing? Ah, but then again, I might think it was cute if Shigure-san did it herself.
But actually saying something like that out loud? That’s a bit much.
That’s a bit much, really.

“…………Shigure-san, you pervert.”

“Isn’t it the other way round⁉︎”

It was a full-force retort.

“Y-you’ve been touching me all over in the bathroom, Ibara!”

“Eh, you’re bringing that up now?”

“No, I mean, um—”

Shigure-san’s face was bathed in moonlight. Even in the pale glow, her cheeks were clearly flushed.

“In other words, we’re both in the same boat. I’ve had plenty of embarrassing moments myself…”

The trailing words dissolved into the crisp night air.
Even in the dim light, Shigure-san’s cheeks were visibly flushed.
A curtain of silence descended.
It was a sweetly taut tension, as if both of us were waiting for the moment one would break the equilibrium.
　………….
Now, just now, perhaps…
I leaned forward, pressing down on the back of Shigure-san’s hand.
Casually, I glanced at the mobile phone by my pillow. 00:12.
I was already eighteen.

“Shigure-san.”

“…What?”

“Can I touch you?”

“W-well, you know. That sort of thing should wait until you’re properly grown up.”

“I am now.”

“Even though you’re still a high school student.”

“That’s just a label.”

Above all else.

“I can’t hold back any longer.”

Shigure-san’s throat made a distinct gulp. Her beautiful eyes wavered.
I knew it. Shigure-san is kind, so if eighteen-year-old me said this, she’d surely give in.
I’m cunning and cowardly. From the very start, I’ve been taking advantage of Shigure-san’s kindness.
But it’s true I can’t hold back.
Please, let me take advantage.
　Shigure-san exhaled.
Heavy, damp, and lustrous.
After what felt like an eternity, yet was only a few seconds of silence, Shigure-san spoke.

“Make two promises.”

“Okay.”

“Ibara, you won’t take off your clothes. And I won’t touch you.”

“You won’t touch me?”

“I’m the one being touched, right?”

A hint of a provocative gaze.
It sent shivers down my spine. That’s not the kind of look an adult should give a child.
But that’s why it made me happy. Like we were equals, lovers.
Yet that bewitching light vanished instantly, replaced by her usual gentle gaze upon me.

“Will you keep your promises?”

“Yes.”

Truthfully, I wanted her to touch me, but I didn’t want to make a fuss and trouble her here.
Besides, I knew she cherished me.
A short sigh escaped me.

“…Then, go ahead.”

Shigure-san flopped onto the bed with a plop.
My heart pounded. It felt like it might explode.
Recalling the sequence I’d fantasised about countless times before, I drew my face closer, then suddenly felt uneasy.

“Um… if I’m clumsy, I’m sorry.”

“Silly.”

Shigure-san smiled with a resigned “Oh well” and pulled me close. My tension melted away.
Guided, our lips met.
The night deepened.
Even the anxieties buried deep within my heart felt, for now at least, completely forgotten.