Episode 87: Preparing for the Family Meeting (4)

The preparations were successfully completed, and everyone decided to have a bath. Hikari-san and Mayo-nee rushed into the bathroom and came straight back out. Apparently, it was because they wanted to talk to Endo-san. I felt a bit miffed, wondering if there was nothing they wanted to say to me.

‘Takizawa, you can go in first.’

With Endo-san telling me that, I headed for the bathroom, still feeling a bit put out. As I undressed, thinking about all that had happened today, there was a knock at the bathroom door, and my sister asked if she could come in.

　I was naked, but I figured it was fine since it was my sister, so I unlocked the door.

‘Sorry, I’d left the shampoo bottle out, so I’ve come to get it.’

‘Just grab it quickly.’

　My sister hurriedly grabbed her forgotten item and went back out, so I locked the bathroom door. It’s not as if there were anyone else there but girls, and perhaps it wasn’t something I should be worrying about, but for some reason, I really didn’t want Endo-san to see me naked. I felt somehow embarrassed at the thought of her seeing me.

As I thought about that and looked in the mirror, I wished I could turn back time.

I’d completely forgotten about the hickey Endo-san had left on me earlier. Even though I hadn’t taken a bath yet, my face felt so hot I thought I might faint.

Did my sister look at my body?　I think she grabbed the shampoo straight away and left, and I don’t suppose she’d stare at her younger sister’s body like that… but all sorts of thoughts swirled round my head, and I felt so embarrassed I wanted to crawl into a hole. Believing she hadn’t seen me, I got into the bath.

‘Endo-san, you idiot… this isn’t going to fade for ages…’

　The red mark Endo-san left was darker than the ones I usually make myself. And unlike the pain from earlier, it wouldn’t fade straight away.

“—You idiot, Endo-san.”

　That was all I could manage to say.

　When I got out of the bath, the three of them were chatting away happily. Wondering what on earth they were talking about so cheerfully, I sat down next to the table too.

“I’m going to have a bath too.”

　As soon as I returned, Endo-san said that and went off to the bathroom.

　I wanted to ask my sister about the hickey, but I knew it would be asking for trouble, and I was nervous that she might ask me about it in return.

‘Hoshizora-chan, you’ve really changed, haven’t you? It’s like you used to be all floppy, but now you’ve got a real spring in your step.’

　Hikari-san’s comment instantly deflated the tension that had been building. I didn’t understand her onomatopoeia at all, but I knew full well that the ‘past me’ she was referring to wasn’t exactly being praised.

“Is it Hina-chan’s influence, after all?”

　Mayo-nee asked with a serious expression. I thought to myself that I’ve got two troublesome older sisters.

“――It’s thanks to Endo-san.”

　I knew answering that would probably lead to more troublesome questions, but it was the truth. My life began to change from the day I met Endo-san on the rooftop.
　I can’t help but be grateful, even if I don’t want to.

‘What does Hina-chan mean to you, Hoshizora?’
‘……Someone important.’
‘That is…’

　Mayo-nee looked troubled after I answered that far. As soon as her questions stopped, Hikari-san’s began.

‘Hoshizora-chan, what sort of relationship do you want to have with Hina-chan?’
‘What sort of relationship?’
‘Hmm, for example, do you want to go out and have fun together a lot, like friends…?’

　When I turned the question back on her, I got a rather ambiguous reaction and ended up feeling a bit confused.

‘I don’t really have anything specific in mind, but I’d like to just carry on spending time together like this until we finish high school.’
‘Until high school? Are you planning to cut ties once you’ve finished high school?’
‘Well, if we go to different universities, there’ll be no reason to meet up, and it’ll be even more so if we go to different prefectures, won’t it?’
‘Don’t you want to see her?’

That question made my heart clench. We’re at the same high school now, and since we’ve been in the same class since Year 13, I thought I could see Endo-san and stay in touch with her.

　If we can see each other, would she want to keep seeing me even after we go to university?

　As for me…

‘I want to see her…’

　My true feelings slipped out. I want Endo-san to stay on good terms with me. But that’s just my one-sided wish.

‘It’s just, I don’t think Endo-san feels the same way. She’s still popular at school, she’s so radiant, and she’s the life and soul of the class, so I reckon she’ll make friends straight away when she goes to university and forget all about me.’

‘Have you actually asked Hina-chan about that?’
‘No, I haven’t.’

　I was too scared to ask.
　I could picture the future that lay ahead. That’s why I wanted to make the most of the time we had left.

‘All I can say, as your nagging older sister, is that you really ought to ask Hina-chan more questions.’

Hikari-san-san smiled brightly and stroked my head. Everyone seems to stroke my head. I feel like I’m always being treated like a child. As time passed, Hikari-san began to yawn more and more.

‘We’re going to bed soon. I’d like to wait for Hina-chan to come up, but Hikari-san looks like she’s at her limit.’

　With that, the two of them left the room, and it went quiet all of a sudden. I felt relieved that Mayo-nee hadn’t asked me about the hickey. As I leaned against the bed and stared at the ceiling for a while, Endo-san came back.

“Where are the other two?”
“Hikari-san looked like she’d had enough, so they went to the bedroom.”
“I see. Are you going to bed too, Takizawa?”

When I glanced over at Endo-san, I could see, now that she’d had a bath, what I had left on her neck, no longer hidden.

‘Where’s the futon? I’ll make the bed myself, so just show me.’
‘Let’s sleep together like we always do, shall we?’
‘No.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because friends don’t do that sort of thing.’
‘But even friends sleep together sometimes, don’t they?’
‘So, Endo-san, you’d sleep with any friend, would you?’

The thought that Endo-san might have a friend she sleeps this close to made me feel a little irritated, and I ended up saying something so childish.

“Sorry, I lied. I don’t sleep with my friends. But… I want to sleep with Takizawa.”

　It’s always like this. She says embarrassing things like that with a completely serious expression. Why does she say things like that? I never really understand how Endo-san feels.

　I recall what Hikari-san said to me earlier.

　Sigh………….

‘If you answer my question without messing about, I’ll let you sleep with me.’

　Just as Hikari-san said, if I don’t understand, I should ask her directly. Even if the answer isn’t what I want to hear, I need to get to know Endo-san properly.

　Endo-san turned off the light and got into bed, so I slipped in beside her. Our bodies pressed close together, and the parts touching grew hot. It was even hotter because of the summer, so when I tried to move away from Endo-san a little, she grabbed my hand.

‘Don’t be silly. It’s hot, so let go.’

　I tried to shake off Endo-san’s hand, but she wouldn’t let go.

‘Takizawa, I have to hold you like this or you’ll run away.’

　I wouldn’t run away even if she didn’t do that, and having my hand held made my face flush, making me want to move away even more.

‘Takizawa, what’s your question?’
‘……Which prefecture are you going to university in?’
‘……I can’t answer that right now. But I’ll tell you properly, Takizawa.’
“Why can’t you tell me now?”

　…………

　Endo fell silent. I didn’t want to make things difficult for her, so I changed the subject.

“Endo, if you go to university…”

“Hmm?”
“If you go to university, will we stop seeing each other?”

I actually wanted to ask if she’d still want to see me even after she went to university, but I felt too embarrassed, so I phrased it differently.

‘Why? After all we’ve been through, do you think we’ll stop seeing each other?’
‘Well, you’re popular, Endo-san, so once you go to university, you’ll be popular there too, and someone else will probably help you with your studies, so I thought maybe I wouldn’t be needed.’

In fact, the only reason Endo-san needs me is because I can help her with her studies. I can’t think of any other reason why she needs me.

“Well then, even if you go to university, Takizawa, you’ll have to teach me…”

　Endo-san let go of my hand and pulled me into a hug.
　The suddenness of it made me hold my breath. As I held my breath, I suddenly began to hear the sound of my heart beating, and my consciousness gathered at the centre of my body.

　I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but Endo-san spoke.

‘About that question earlier… actually, I’d like to go to a university near the one you want to attend, Takizawa. That way, I can get closer to what I want to do in the future, and you can still help me with my studies, right? It’s just that my grades aren’t nearly good enough at the moment, so I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I was planning to tell you once I’d reached a level where I could get in.’

‘…Even if you did get in there, once we’re at university, if we’re in different faculties, we’ll be studying different subjects, so I won’t be able to help you with your studies.’

　University is a place specialised in specific fields of knowledge. If we were in the same faculty, there might still be things I could teach her, but Endo-san and I study completely different subjects.

In other words, I’m not needed.

‘Well then, I don’t need you to teach me anything.’
‘In that case, there’s no need for us to be in the same prefecture, is there?’

As she said that, Endo-san hugged me tightly. Her grip was stronger than usual, and it felt a little suffocating.

‘I want to go there because I want to see you, Takizawa, even after I start university…’

　I could hardly believe my ears when I heard Endo-san’s words. Does Endo-san want to see me too? Why? How come? There are so many things I want to ask.

‘Why is that? Is it because we’re friends?’

‘It’s because it’s you, Takizawa.’

　My heart was pounding so loudly that my concentration on the conversation with Endo-san was fading fast.

　I think Endo-san is being more sly than usual today.

　She said she wanted to sleep with me because it was me.
　She said she wanted to see me even after I go to university because it was me.

　My mind can’t keep up with processing it all.

　Why me? I don’t understand the reason, given that Endo-san could easily make friends with better people. I’ve become afraid to ask any more questions.

　I want her to think I’m special. I want her to think of me as someone important and special, just as I think of her. But if she gives me a different answer, I think I’ll be terribly upset.

I didn’t think like this at first.
I used to think that if she thought I was important, then just continuing to think of her as important was enough… but now things have changed. I’m becoming greedy. This isn’t good of me.

It’s all because Endo-san says so many strange things.

　I pushed Endo-san’s body away from mine and looked at her. It was dark, with only the night light on, but my eyes had adjusted enough for me to make out her face. I stroked her slightly flushed cheeks. her soft cheeks felt cold, so I pressed my warm hand against them.

‘Takizawa, won’t you want to see me after you finish high school?’

That’s a sneaky question… I didn’t want to answer, so I leaned over her and stole a kiss.

　I’d done this sort of thing with Endo-san many times before. Normally, you get used to things the more you do them. That’s especially true of studying.

However, no matter how many times I did this with Endo-san, I never got used to it, and I felt as though my body grew hotter with every time.
When our lips parted, a wave of loneliness washed over me, and I found myself craving more of Endo-san’s warmth.

‘—What do I mean to you, Endo-san?’

I ask Endo-san the very same question my sister asked me a moment ago.

‘What do I mean to you, Takizawa?’
‘No answering a question with a question.’
‘But you, Takizawa, asked me a question without answering mine.’

　She’s right, of course. I can’t even bring myself to say the simple words ‘I want to see you’.

　I want to be special to Endo-san.
I want to be someone important to her.

Those feelings just overflowed.
I couldn’t hold back any longer.

“――You’re someone important to me, Endo-san.”

I regretted saying it. I was so embarrassed I felt like my face was on fire. Endo-san was staring at me with wide eyes. I had to end this conversation quickly.

“That’s the end of this conversation. No more questions.”

Feeling embarrassed, I turned my back on Endo-san. But, as always, Endo-san acted as if my embarrassment didn’t exist.

“Takizawa, if what you just said is true, stay with me even when we’re at university.”

Hearing those words, I felt a slow, warm sensation in my chest. For me, those words were the happiest thing of all.
　Perhaps the time I spend with Endo-san might continue even after I start university. Just thinking that warms my heart and puts me at ease.

　I’m glad I followed Hikari-san’s advice. I’ve managed to get to know Endo-san a little better.

　Endo-san presses herself close against my back.

　My back feels so hot I couldn’t sleep for a while.

　That’s why I hate summer, it’s too hot.

　I closed my eyes so I could sleep.