Episode 62
Once exam season properly began, time really did seem to fly by. I think it’s because I’d thrown myself into studying more seriously than ever before.
Suzuki Ran told me that Morishita had been hired as a city hall employee — in the city where my first-choice university is.
For some reason, Morishita was stubbornly trying to keep it from me, but there’s no way I wasn’t going to look into it myself.
Once I knew, my drive to study only grew stronger. Out of sheer stubbornness, I was studying desperately for a future spent with her. So much so, I think, that it cut sharply into the time I had with Morishita.
There was so much more I wanted to do, really, to make Morishita fall for me — but for now, all I could do was work toward a future with her.
“A future with Morishita,” huh.
I say it like she’s guaranteed to stay by my side, but there’s no guarantee of that anywhere.
Autumn passed, winter arrived, and before I’d even had time to register something like Christmas, the year drew to a close — and now it was one week before the Common Test for university admissions.
With each passing day my nerves climbed higher, and the days I felt physically unwell grew more frequent too. I was exasperated with my own body for being so bad under pressure. My anxiety kept growing — would I really be all right on the day itself, feeling like this?
The cold outside was brutal, so I turned the heating up high to keep it at bay. But the warmth kept making me drowsy, and every time sleepiness crept over me, I’d step out onto the balcony and let the cold wind hit me until I was awake again — over and over.
On a whim, I looked down from the balcony at the street below.
The height above the ground sent an involuntary shiver through me.
But that only lasted a moment.
At the entrance of the building, a figure I recognised was pacing back and forth.
Without thinking, I checked my phone.
But there hadn’t been a single message from Morishita saying she was coming today.
It might have been a mistake — my eyes playing tricks — but as if to make sure, I flew out of the flat without even locking the door behind me.
I got off the elevator, ignored the echo of my own footsteps in the entrance hall, and went outside — and there was Morishita, pacing back and forth, breathing out little clouds of white.
Maybe because we hadn’t seen each other over the New Year, and since then I’d only seen her at school — but the sight of Morishita there overwhelmed me, and before I knew it I was running to her and throwing my arms around her.
Morishita’s whole body stiffened, and she tried to push me off. But I wasn’t going to lose to that, and wound my arms around her all the tighter.
“We’re outside, you know. Let go.”
“Morishita, I missed you—”
“I saw you at school just yesterday.”
“We didn’t even talk. That doesn’t count as seeing you. More importantly, what are you doing here?”
I kept talking without letting go of the hug, pressing my ear to Morishita’s chest, but her thick coat got in the way of any real closeness between us.
“Just dropping something off.”
“To who?”
“To Fujishiro.”
“Huh — me?”
The surprise made the strength drain out of my arms. As if she’d been waiting for exactly that opening, Morishita shoved me back.
Then she immediately dug a hand into her pocket and, with a papery rustle, held out a white paper pouch printed with vermilion characters.
The moment I took it, she turned on her heel and started walking away.
I tried to say she could come up for a bit, but I had no reason to keep her here now, and the words caught in my throat.
While I stood there faltering, Morishita got too far away for my voice to reach, so I gave up and went back inside.
Once inside, I checked what was in the pouch Morishita had given me.
I’d already guessed it was some kind of charm when she handed it over, but seeing it properly, I caught my breath.
It was the very same charm I’d given Morishita. For a moment I thought maybe she’d returned it now that the exam was over and she didn’t need it anymore — but looking closer, I realised it was pristine, brand new. And more to the point, I’d never given Morishita a little package printed with “Hachiman Shrine” on it. I’d handed her the charm bare, with no wrapping at all.
But there was something even more startling, and it made my heart pound harder.
Hachiman Shrine was nearly an hour away by train. It’s known within the prefecture as the shrine where the gods of victory and the gods of exam success are said to gather — which was exactly why I’d gone alone to buy Morishita a charm there. Had Morishita gone alone too, all that way, just the same?
Receiving the charm itself made me happy enough, but it was the thought of her going out of her way, all that distance, to buy it that made me happier still.
Without meaning to, I got so happy I called Morishita.
I’d braced for her not to pick up, but she answered sooner than I expected.
“What?”
“Morishita. Thank you.”
“For what.”
“I feel like I might actually get into university now.”
“Good.”
“Hey, Morishita…”
Phone calls are strange.
Not being able to see the other person’s face should make you more anxious, if anything — but right now it felt like the opposite, like something was pushing me forward instead.
I felt like I could tell her I loved her, right now, this instant.
If I told her over the phone, would Morishita stop seeing me altogether? Or would she just pretend she hadn’t heard it, and go on treating me the same as always?
Even with that push at my back, thinking about what came after was frightening either way, and my whole body started to tremble.
“What?”
“Um… will you tell me to do my best on the exam?”
“Why?”
“Because hearing it from you gives me so much strength.”
“Huh.”
Morishita gave a light little reply and then went quiet.
Not even saying “do your best” — I thought that was a bit too mean of her. But then, that was just like her, too.
“I’ll do my best, okay.”
“Mm.”
“Hey, if I pass — will you have a meal with me?”
“A meal…?”
“Yeah. Food tastes best when I’m eating it with you.”
It was the most of a confession I could manage, right now.
Even at that much, I’d be pretty crushed if she turned me down…
“I don’t want it to taste bad, though.”
“Eh…?”
“See you, Fujishiro.”
A cheerful little chime sounded, and the call ended. Even after it cut off, I kept holding the phone to my ear for a while.
“See you… huh.”
Maybe that made me happier than any “good luck” could have.
Morishita probably said it without thinking much of it at all — but it must mean I’d taken root somewhere inside her, at least enough that she wanted to see me again.
I stretched, then sat back down at my desk.
Almost there.
It had been a week that felt both short and long, but somewhere along the way my nerves had eased, and I spent it brimming with energy instead.