Episode Thirty-Three
Yakisoba, cotton candy, shaved ice. The shrine grounds, lit orange by the lanterns, were lined with stalls in every colour imaginable. Almost as many stalls as there were people — losing focus for even a moment felt like it might sweep me away entirely.
Walking slowly through the crowd, careful not to let go of the hand I was holding, I wondered how the two of us looked to everyone around us. Here and there I caught sight of familiar faces and kept pretending not to notice.
“This really feels like a festival. I’m getting hungry.”
Ao tipped back her ramune bottle, eyes drifting happily over the stalls around us. She never drinks anything carbonated normally, and yet watching her run happily toward a stall, I’d bought it for her almost without thinking. Not really my kind of drink, but held up against the sunset, the faint glimpse of light through the glass felt summery in a good way.
“Should we get something to eat? What sounds good?”
“Ehh, tough call.”
Even asking her the question, nothing about what I wanted to eat came to mind at all. My head was too full of Ao to leave room for anything else.
“I want whatever Yuna wants.”
“M— me?”
“Yeah. You decide today.”
“…Me, huh.”
I looked away from Ao and let my eyes drift over the stalls lining both sides of the shrine grounds.
Every time she says my name, I feel my body warm up a little more. “Yuna” — two syllables that Dad, that friends, use without a second thought. A word for me, not for the stepsister version of me.
Fighting to hold down feelings that kept climbing higher, even the stalls that should have been the star of the whole festival were nothing but background scenery to me right now.
“L— let’s look at everything first before deciding. Ao might find something she wants too.”
“I already said I was fine with whatever. You’re too kind, you know.”
I tipped back the ramune to hide my burning face. The sharp fizz catching in my throat felt good right now.
Past the main street was an open square, also lined with stalls. The lantern light alone wasn’t much, but with all the stalls together the area felt reasonably bright. The dim sky and the orange glow together made this whole place feel like somewhere different from the everyday.
“Oh, it’s the president.”
A voice I recognised, and I went to let go of Ao’s hand on reflex — but it stayed exactly where it was.
“O— oh, hey. Guess you all came together after all.”
Runa, making no effort at all to hide her grinning face, looked back and forth between Ao and me. I’d love it if she’d just go somewhere else and save all the questions for later.
“Ohh. Well, well… hmm… this is… quite something.”
Rin, her fringe pinned back for once, looked me over slowly, head to toe, like she was savouring something. I have zero composure left to spare for looking at Ao’s face right now.
“Been a while. Are you three doing the rounds together for student council?”
Ao spoke up, as if throwing me a lifeline against my frozen silence. Her voice carried the exact same tone I always hear at school, and yet she seemed to have no intention at all of letting go of my hand.
“Something like that. Got turned down by Yuna, so it’s three lonely girls keeping each other warm.”
“That’s… a shame, isn’t it.”
Rin gave a mock-troubled little frown, and I turned my attention to Saki, working diligently through a candy apple. Let Ao handle these two troublesome ones.
“Sorry, I couldn’t come round with you all. Is that good?”
“Mm-mm. Let’s hang out again sometime. The candy apple’s great — I recommend it.”
If Saki’s the one recommending it, maybe I’ll actually buy one.
“President’s cuter than usual today. So’s Ao-chan.”
“R— really? Saki looks great too.”
It’s rare for Saki to comment on my appearance. Maybe I really do look like I’ve put in unusual effort today.
Yuna’s cute too. Cuter than anyone here.
Ao’s words surfaced in my head and the hand holding my ramune trembled slightly. I heard the faint fizz of bubbles bursting.
I gave Saki’s head a gentle pat, delighted eyes narrowing further, and turned my gaze back to our joined hands.
“We shouldn’t get in the way any more than this, huh.”
“Rin, Saki-chan. Let’s go.”
“You’ve got an interrogation waiting next week, Yuna. Be ready.”
Rin leaned in close to my ear and murmured it low, and goosebumps rose along my skin despite myself. If she did that to just anyone with that face of hers, I think half the girls in the world would fall for her on the spot.
“There’s a whooole lot I need to hear, so don’t you dare try to run.”
“…Ha ha. Once exams are over… okay?”
I watched the whole student council walk off with that heavy line hanging in the air, and let my shoulders drop hard. An interrogation from Rin and Runa is probably going to be seriously exhausting. Maybe I should take Saki hostage to shut it down somehow.
“Good to see Rin and the others looking well, it’s been a while.”
“They invited you to the festival with student council, huh.”
“Yeah. I was trying to decide what to do… but then Ao asked me.”
“…I wanted to be with Ao.”
The end of the sentence dropped quietly away. Swallowed into the noise of the festival, I couldn’t tell whether the words had reached her at all.
“…I see.”
As if answering my voice, the hand in mine tightened.
Maybe that’s enough, even if the words themselves never quite arrive. For the two of us, right now, maybe that’s all we need.
We didn’t exchange another word for a while, walking slower than usual through the shrine grounds. My palm, which had felt uncertain just past the torii gate, was now held so firmly there’d be no shaking it loose.
“…Shaved ice sounds good, maybe.”
The words spilled out on their own once we reached the far end of the square. It’s not that I actually wanted it, particularly. I don’t dislike it, but I don’t love it either. Maybe I just wanted something cold, to cool a head that had gone past boiling.
“Very festival-like. My treat today.”
“Huh? No, that’s fine. I’ve got my allowance, I’m okay.”
I watched Ao let go of my hand and pull her wallet from her drawstring purse. My freed right hand wandered, suddenly with nowhere to go.
“It’s fine. I was really, genuinely happy that you agreed to come with me.”
Ao murmured it, eyes dropped in embarrassment.
She’d been happy that I agreed to come to the summer festival. Because I felt like Ao, who’d seemed to drift somewhere far away, had come close again. So then — what did her “happy” actually mean? Happy as family? Happy as a friend?
Happy, the way you’d feel toward someone you love?
Maybe I’m already past saving. Right now, I can barely see the summer festival in front of me at all. Everyone around us looks like they’re having the time of their lives, and all I can see is a yukata-clad figure walking with steps smaller than usual.
Even a summer scene this lovely turns into nothing but backdrop and stage dressing in the face of a crush. I watched the back of her, awkwardly clacking her geta as she joined the line for shaved ice, and let the moment blur past me in a daze.