Episode One: Preconceived Notions — February 2033 —
Upon entering the convenience store, a section labelled ‘Valentine Fair’ immediately caught my eye.
It was a phrase I’d been seeing particularly often these past few days. Perhaps because the day itself was just a week away, every convenience store and supermarket seemed to be pushing sales and promotions with a final sprint.
Apologies for the personal digression, but while I enjoy chocolate, Valentine’s Day itself is not my cup of tea.
Ever since I can remember, I’ve never received ‘friendship chocolates’. And as for sweet chocolates imbued with affection? I’ve certainly never given any, nor have I ever received any. In short, it’s the event I feel least connected to all year.
I never joined in when girls excitedly chattered about “making chocolates together”, and naturally, I had zero interest in the whole “giving chocolate to the boy you like” event.
For someone like me, Valentine’s Day was simply a dreaded day that forced me to experience a sense of anxiety and loneliness.
Wishing it would just end already, I bought only a sweet bread roll and coffee for lunch before leaving the shop.
Assailed by the winter’s biting wind, I hurriedly got into my car.
◇
“‘Shimu’ doesn’t take the ‘shime’ form, it’s ‘shimure’.”
The boy, a classmate of Uehara-san attending the study session, scratched his head in frustration when I pointed out his mistake.
“I’m hopeless! I can’t even get the basic problems right…”
“Even if you don’t understand it now, you’ll get there. You just need to memorise the conjugation tables, so hammer them into your head without feeling intimidated.”
I know this because I teach the class. It sounds trite, but his concentration when it matters is remarkable. I hope he pushes himself to score as many points as possible before the national mock exam in two weeks’ time.
“Kakei-san, teach me too!”
Sasaki-san, Uehara-san’s close friend, sat before her workbook with a troubled expression.
“Right, I’ll be right with you.”
Perhaps because both the final exams and mock tests were approaching, several students had joined today’s study session – unusually for it. Among them was Sasaki-san.
She wasn’t particularly motivated about studying, so even though Uehara-san attended every week, Sasaki-san had never once shown up.
She said she’d joined this time to prepare for the final second-year mock exam, which was said to be highly useful for deciding her target university. Frankly, though, this was the first time I’d ever seen Sasaki-san studying so earnestly.
“Here, ‘ののしる’ doesn’t mean to revile or abuse someone. The correct meaning is ‘to make a loud commotion’. Please read the surrounding text properly.”
“Ah, I see. I thought, ‘Oh, a word I know!’ and just reflexively wrote the answer. I really must be more careful.”
One does feel more motivated to teach when faced with such an earnest student.
“Prioritise memorising high-frequency vocabulary. In your case, Sasaki-san, if you learn the words and read the passages properly, your scores should really take off.”
“Yes, sensei. Here we go again, again and again…”
“…Make sure you properly understand the meanings and usage too.”
Feeling pity for the irregular verb conjugation being used merely as filler, I grew uneasy whether Sasaki-san actually grasped the meaning.
Returning to the lectern, Uehara-san came into view, sitting at the very front, deeply engrossed in her studies.
Her presence alone, sitting conspicuously and studying so earnestly, had the effect of heightening the concentration of the surrounding students.
I silently thanked her for her presence once again today. When I looked up and met Uehara-san’s gaze, she silently mouthed two syllables to me. Panicking inwardly that the other students might have noticed, I checked my watch.
Uehara-san’s concentration breaking meant the fifty-minute study session was nearly over.
As the study session ended and everyone filed out of the classroom, Sasaki-san, perhaps as a reaction to having worked so diligently, had slumped face-down on her desk.
“Are you alright, Sasaki-san? Have you taken ill?”
“…I’m fine. I’d forgotten about it while concentrating on my studies, but I’m just in the middle of a massive mood slump, that’s all—”
It seemed she was feeling down about something completely unrelated to her studies. While I could handle study-related issues, I had no idea how to respond to personal troubles. As I fell silent, Uehara-san sat back down in the seat in front of Sasaki-san.
“Don’t worry about it, Sensei. Ryoka’s been feeling a bit down lately.”
“If it isn’t resolved, it could interfere with her studies and exams. I’d recommend sorting it out as soon as possible.”
Sasaki-san slowly lifted her face and sighed.
“Entrance exams, huh… Well, it’s true that’s definitely a worry too, but… it’s not that right now.”
Indeed, the cheerful aura she usually radiated seemed absent today.
“…May I ask why?”
“Yeah, go ahead. …Valentine’s is coming, right? I’m super depressed about it.”
My immediate reaction was surprise.
While it was relatable coming from someone like me – a woman who isn’t exactly popular – Sasaki-san has loads of friends and, more importantly, a boyfriend. I’d always thought she was the type who’d be most excited about Valentine’s Day.
“I’m sorry if this sounds like a prejudiced assumption, but I had the impression you liked events like that.”
“I like birthdays and Christmas, but I just hate Valentine’s Day. I’m rubbish at baking.”
The equation ‘rubbish at baking = hates Valentine’s’ didn’t quite register for me.
“Eh? Chocolate’s sold everywhere, surely you could just buy some and give that?”
“Well, that’s not really an option, you know? Because it’s Sōma-kun.”
Completely baffled, I looked to Uehara-san for help, but she just shrugged.
“Guys are happier getting handmade chocolates, aren’t they? They say it makes them feel the love or something. Or is it just the boys around us who say that sort of thing?”
I’d been completely detached from Valentine’s Day since I was old enough to understand, and I’d never been interested, so I hadn’t known. Whether it’s common or not is probably debatable, but I suppose there is this idea that handmade chocolates are a way of expressing affection.
“Is that how it is…”
“Yeah. But you know, Sōma-kun knows I’m rubbish at baking, so he wouldn’t say it to my face. He’s kind, isn’t he? Still, deep down, he’d prefer homemade chocolates. He likes girls who seem domestic.”
Sasaki-san’s face as she murmured this looked more exasperated than I’d ever seen it before. Uehara-san was also giving a wry smile.
“Fuwa’s handsome and kind, so he’s popular. But precisely because of that, his expectations for girls are a bit high. Still, he’s head over heels for Suzuka, so I tell her she should just have confidence.”
“I am confident I’m loved, but if I rest on my laurels, who knows when he might lose interest? It’s romance, after all. Whether you’re a man or a woman, you can’t just insist on your own way in a relationship. You should make an effort to be attractive, both inside and out.”
…I found myself listening intently. While Sasaki-san’s understanding of classical literature was severely lacking, when it came to romance, her experience far outstripped mine. Perhaps I should be the one calling her teacher or mentor.
“I see, you have a point.”
“You think so too, Kakei-sensei? …Ah, this is so tiresome. I know I need to respect the other person, to be patient and compromise, but…”
Seeing Sasaki-san propping her cheek on her desk and sighing again, Uehara-san and I exchanged glances.
Sasaki-san is an open person, sharing things about herself and her boyfriend, Fuwa-kun, even with me. While that’s largely down to her personality, I also think it’s possible because she’s in a fairly typical position.
For instance, I couldn’t tell Sasaki-san who my first love was. I couldn’t even casually mention the type of girl I liked.
Thinking about that, while I felt envious of Sasaki-san… I also felt a little down.
Valentine’s Day is a day when women give chocolate to men to confess their feelings, and it’s also a day for her to express her affection to her boyfriend. I’ve heard some companies have a tradition where women give chocolate to men to express their gratitude for their daily efforts.
While there is the culture of friends exchanging chocolates, known as ‘tomo-choco’, the prevailing social norm remains women giving to men.
Valentine’s Day is a day that makes one acutely aware of the concept of gender.
For me, it remains an event entirely unrelated to my life. It also reaffirms that I am in the minority in today’s world – a day I dislike… no, a day I truly detest.