Episode 102: “I Can’t Stay Pathetic Forever”
Monday afternoon, the start of a new week.
Having promptly arranged things with Yukiya-san, the two of us walked side by side toward his company.
“Hey, Yui-san. Is it all right if I take a half-day off this afternoon?”
Yui-san, as president, isn’t bound by working-hour restrictions, so she’s free to come and go as she likes — but as an employee, I’m different. This wasn’t work-related, so I figured it counted as personal time off, and asked.
“You’re as serious as ever, Kanata. You really don’t need to worry about that kind of thing. Yuki-nii’s a board member, so it’s not strange to go see him during business hours, and besides, it’s only half a day.”
Yui-san said it so casually, but with everyone else bound by their working hours, it feels wrong for me alone to get special treatment.
“I’ll put in the request later, so please just approve it.”
I’ve got plenty of paid leave banked up anyway, and if I’m going to worry about it either way, better to just take the time off with a clear conscience from the start. When I said as much, Yui-san laughed, said “so very Kanata of you,” and agreed.
Our company is impressive enough, occupying a whole floor of a building owned by the Ichinose Group, but Yukiya-san’s company is also housed in a relatively new, handsome office building not far from the station.
Setting up an office in a building this fine, entirely on his own, without borrowing anyone’s help — there’s no longer any room to doubt Yukiya-san’s skill as a businessman.
I’ve heard the Ichinose Group has a lot of subsidiaries with long histories.
Apparently many of them still can’t shake their old corporate culture, and everyone agreed that our company had been the same way before Yui-san became president.
The reforms a young leader brings might meet resistance at first from employees who’ve been there a long time, but I think, on balance, they do more good than harm.
If Yukiya-san ever came back to the Group, it would surely be reassuring both for the Group and for Yui-san… but with the rift between him and their father still unresolved, I can’t imagine Yui-san ever asking that of him.
They’re both kind people, really. Yui-san and Yukiya-san both.
We checked the directory in the building’s entrance for the floor where Yukiya-san’s company was, got into one of the many elevators, and pressed the button. In the steel box rising upward, I glanced sideways at Yui-san.
Surely Yukiya-san had already guessed the meaning behind the two of us coming to see him together today.
I thought, maybe, that the “sharpness” Yui-san and Yukiya-san both have is something they inherited from their mother.
From what I’ve heard, Yui-san’s father is a very clumsy, awkward sort of person when it comes to things like that.
When we rang the front desk, Yukiya-san came out to greet us right away.
He appeared wearing a crisp white shirt with a navy jacket over it, white leather sneakers on his feet, popping his head around the corner.
Yukiya-san should be five years older than Yui-san, making him thirty-two this year, but no matter how many times I see him, he gives off the same impression as when I first met him back in our student days.
Honestly, it was hard to believe he was the same age as Kitagami-san — his smile was so bright and fresh, and he always looked so youthful.
We were shown into a reception room and sat down on the leather sofa.
A little while later, a female employee came in and set three cups of coffee down on the table.
“So, what did you want to talk about?”
As Yukiya-san said this, Yui-san, seated close enough that our shoulders nearly touched, glanced at me.
I gave a single small nod, and Yui-san turned back to face Yukiya-san again.
“Sorry for bothering you when you’re busy. There’s something I really needed to talk to you about, Yuki-nii. About our future — mine and Kanata’s.”
Yukiya-san, sitting across from us, watched us with calm eyes and that smile so much like Yui-san’s.
“I never really explained it properly, did I. Why I want to call off the engagement with Shinji. …The truth is, I wanted to be with Kanata, so I desperately wanted out of the engagement with Shinji, and three years ago I asked you for your help with that, Yuki-nii.”
Yukiya-san nodded slightly. Already aware of the fact, he wasn’t shaken by it, and Yui-san wasn’t surprised that he’d known either.
It was an exchange built entirely on the kind of trust that only exists between siblings — more a confirmation than a revelation.
“I really think it’s thanks to you, Yuki-nii, that I was able to deliver results that matched what I promised Dad. I can’t thank you enough. Really, thank you.”
“I… didn’t do anything worth being thanked for. If anything, I’m the one who should apologize — for pushing that responsibility onto you and making you go through something so hard. I’m sorry for being such a pathetic older brother, Yui. I really am.”
Saying that, Yukiya-san bent his arms against his knees and bowed his head deeply, deeply to Yui-san.
“That’s not true. Yuki-nii, please, don’t apologize.”
Yui-san spoke gently to Yukiya-san with his head bowed, as if pleading for his forgiveness.
When Yukiya-san lifted his face, his eyes were faintly wet, and seeing that, something in my own chest tightened painfully.
Thinking of the suffering the two of them had carried all this time, unable to voice it precisely because they cared for each other so much — I couldn’t find any words of my own that felt adequate.
“…Actually, Shinji came by the office recently, and that’s when I told him I wanted to call off the engagement. But he wouldn’t accept it at all. I told him we should properly discuss the terms, but he wouldn’t even engage with it. I don’t understand why Shinji is so fixated on this marriage. Do you understand it, Yuki-nii?”
Kitagami-san and Yui-san are five years apart in age, so it made sense she wouldn’t know that much about him.
He’s been a formidable opponent, springing things on us again and again that we never anticipated. Not understanding what drives him makes him unsettling in a way I can’t shake.
If he found out Yui-san was planning to tell her father about calling off the engagement, we had absolutely no idea what he might do next.
But Yukiya-san, who’s known Kitagami-san since childhood, would know his upbringing — and might understand the reason.
“I see, so Shinji still says he won’t call it off. …He really should just live freely for once, honestly.”
Yukiya-san crossed his arms and let out a deep sigh.
“If you’re asking for a reason, I can guess. I think it comes down to Shinji’s father.”
“Shinji’s father? You mean Managing Director Kitagami?”
“Right. Shinji’s father is an extremely strict man. He always demanded perfection from Shinji. People aren’t robots, and there’s no such thing as a perfect person, but…”
Saying that, Yukiya-san narrowed his eyes as if remembering something fondly.
“Back then, the two of us were close, you know. Shinji always used to say that once I became president, he’d support me the way his own father supported his boss. That’s how his father raised him to think. In the end, I ended up betraying that — which is part of why Yui got engaged to him in the first place. And after that, becoming ‘my replacement’ became Shinji’s whole purpose.”
Yukiya-san continued, his eyes somehow sad.
“We went to the same school all the way through high school, and after every test, he’d always show up with a bruise on his cheek. Said if he couldn’t beat me, his father would hit him for not trying hard enough. …He didn’t even need to report his test results to his father that honestly, but he always did.”
Saying that, Yukiya-san laughed bitterly.
“I felt sorry for him once, and held back on purpose — but he saw right through it. He must have taken it as me dismissing his effort. That’s when it started — him losing faith in me, coming to despise me. But looking back now, I was pretty naive too, huh. Of course someone as proud as Shinji could never forgive something like that. In the end, once he realized effort alone would never live up to his father’s expectations, he just kept twisting further and further… and before I knew it, he’d become the kind of man who’d do anything to achieve his goal.”
I see — so that’s why Kitagami-san burned with such rivalry toward Yukiya-san.
And why he wouldn’t budge an inch on the engagement with Yui-san either… it made sense now.
“…I had no idea. I never knew any of that.”
“Yui never had the slightest interest in Shinji, not from the start. Man, I really felt for him, honestly, it was almost hard to watch. Because you never gave him the time of day at all. I always wondered how his spirit never broke, honestly.”
That’s true. Yui-san never used a single gift Kitagami-san ever gave her, never answered his calls, never replied to a message.
If I were in Kitagami-san’s position, my spirit definitely would have broken. Being with someone who has zero interest in you at all sounds like nothing but suffering, if you ask me.
“Shinji’s father’s whole goal is to secure a solid position within the Group. And what’s at the core of Shinji is living up to that expectation. But if he thinks he can’t achieve that without marrying Yui, he’s wrong. I don’t know much about how he’s performing at work, but if he’s still working as our father’s right hand, he must have real ability. I just wish he’d realize that sooner rather than later. That he’s aiming his effort in entirely the wrong direction.”
It’s true — he must have put in an enormous amount of effort up to now. Even if the marriage with Yui-san falls through, all that accumulated effort doesn’t just disappear.
Maybe Kitagami-san is afraid. Afraid that if the engagement with Yui-san falls apart, he himself will become worthless.
“Don’t worry. Whatever Shinji ends up doing, I’m already putting together enough to counter it. Kanata-chan’s been keeping me updated on his movements, so we’ve had plenty of time to prepare.”
Saying that, Yukiya-san gave me a quick wink.
“Prepare?”
“Yeah. Well, this is a last resort, honestly. More importantly — Yui, when are you planning to tell Dad about this?”
“I’m thinking I’ll invite him to dinner after the presidents’ meeting on Friday. I’ll tell him then.”
“I see. That… would it be all right if I came too?”
“What…?”
Yui-san’s voice rose in surprise. I found myself catching my breath too. I’d heard that Yukiya-san hadn’t spoken to their father in years. That they’d remained estranged.
“…I can’t keep being the pathetic one forever, not indefinitely. I’ll come with you. I’ll make sure Dad understands, in my own words too, just how hard Yui has worked these past three years. Let’s have a meal together, the three of us, for the first time in a while.”
Yukiya-san said it with a gentle smile.
Yui-san, and Yukiya-san, and their father.
The relationship that had stayed frozen ever since their mother passed away was, right now, starting to change.
I felt like I could almost see a small, certain flame of hope catching alight.