Episode Thirteen: I’ll Let This Be Enough for Today
The first weekend after finals ended came exactly as hoped — a sky so clear it felt almost extravagant, perfect weather for an outing.
Our promised Saturday.
An hour and a half of driving, cutting straight across the middle of Tokyo Bay, and I set foot on the Boso Peninsula for the first time. My heart raced at the aquarium I’d been waiting so long for.
*
Pamphlet in hand, checking the show times, I tugged Yui-san’s hand along, hurrying, hurrying.
“Yui-san, let’s go see the orcas first.”
“Eh? We’re doing the show first?”
“It says nine-thirty. I want to see it right away, since we’re here.”
“…Kanata, are you a bite-the-head-first kind of person, with a taiyaki?”
Asking that meant Yui-san was probably a tail-first type. I can’t help it — I go for whatever I like best, right away, every time.
“…Is that bad?”
“Not bad at all. Okay, let’s go see it first, then.”
She re-laced her fingers gently through the hand I’d been pulling, and we headed straight for the stadium.
*
I’d thought we’d arrived plenty early, well before the show started, but there were already a few people staking out spots, though we still managed to claim front row.
I handed Yui-san one of the two raincoats I’d bought and prepared ahead of time.
“Wait, we’re wearing these? Won’t it be hot?”
“I heard you get really, really soaked.”
“Hm, that soaked?”
She looked half-convinced, but I’d done my research beforehand, so I wasn’t taking any chances.
“You don’t believe me? Fine, you don’t have to wear it. I’m not the one who’ll be sorry.”
I said it and reached to take the raincoat back, but Yui-san neatly dodged out of the way.
“…I’ll wear it. Just in case.”
Maybe she’d noticed the other front-row visitors putting theirs on too, because Yui-san obediently slid her arms through the sleeves.
“Ah, watch your shoes too.”
I said it, and Yui-san glanced down at her sneakers, two-toned black and white, almost orca-colored themselves.
“Wait… it’s that serious? Maybe I should’ve worn sandals like you, Kanata.”
I laughed at her, growing faintly nervous, and pressed my shoulder right up against hers.
Today Yui-san had gone with something casual, easier for driving, and it felt refreshingly new on her.
Though honestly, whatever she wears, her figure’s good enough that she always looks put together.
An earring peeked through her glossy black hair, catching the sunlight, and I thought, simply, how lovely it looked.
I’d been looking forward to today for so long that even exam studying had felt bearable.
My first summer break spent with Yui-san. Though, with my flight back to England already set for next week, this was probably the only proper summer outing I’d get.
When I mentioned I’d be back by the end of August, Yui-san told me some places still hold fireworks festivals even that late.
I stole a glance at her beside me.
Someone this endlessly popular surely had her dating calendar packed solid.
Everyone wants her, apparently without end. Even knowing she’d never belong to any one person, I found I could understand, now, at least a little, the urge to reach for her anyway.
I don’t know anyone else as magnetic as Yui-san.
*
The orca, the first I’d ever seen in my life, was so much bigger than I’d imagined.
The huge black-and-white body surged up from the depths and leapt, light as anything, to a roar of cheers.
Just as it reached its highest point, it slammed itself flat against the water’s surface, and with a tremendous crack, a wall of water far larger than expected came crashing down over our heads without mercy.
Spray burst up against the blue sky, glittering where it caught the sun.
Ah, I thought. My first real Japanese summer in a long time.
*
By the time the cheering — closer to screaming, honestly — had settled, both of us were soaked clean through despite the raincoats.
“That was so intense, I’m shocked.”
Yui-san laughed, unguarded, brushing her wet bangs back.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I’m used to getting doused.”
She said it with a teasing smile, peering into my face, and I elbowed her arm.
With the sun out, we’d probably dry off in no time.
She wiped my face with a handkerchief, and it tickled.
“…Salty.”
“You okay?”
A stray droplet had landed on my face and I’d licked it without thinking — salty. I stuck my tongue out at the taste, and Yui-san laughed.
“There’s a dolphin and sea lion show too, we should head over.”
“Do the dolphins and sea lions splash you too?”
“Only the orcas do that. And only in summer. That’s exactly why I wanted to come.”
I took Yui-san’s hand and tugged — come on — and once she’d stood, she looked at me and smiled, soft.
“…You’re really cute, you know that?”
“Wh-what is it now?”
“Nothing. Let’s go, dolphins next, right?”
Pulled along by our joined hands, we started walking.
My face felt hot enough to burn — surely, surely, that was just the sun.
*
After thoroughly enjoying the dolphin and sea lion shows, we wandered the rest of the building at an easy pace.
Since the inside was dim and it would’ve been a real problem to get separated, I gave our loosely linked fingers a firm squeeze so they wouldn’t slip apart, and Yui-san smiled, gentle.
I’m weak to that smile of hers. Why does she look at me with such kind eyes?
Something in my chest tightened, sharp.
*
We sat side by side on a bench in front of the huge jellyfish tank. Watching them drift, weightless, I could have stayed there forever.
“I’ve never really come to aquariums much, but this is fun. I might get hooked.”
“You don’t come here on dates, usually?”
“I don’t have anyone to date.”
I squeezed the hand still linked with mine, hard enough that her nails nearly dug in.
“Ow, ow.”
“You’ve got plenty of people you could.”
“Not true. It’s only you, Kanata. The only one I date.”
Words sugar-sweet, murmured close against my ear, and I couldn’t help glaring at her.
I know better. This person surely says exactly the same thing to everyone.
“Is this a date, then?”
“That was my intention. Wasn’t it yours?”
She said it, glancing teasingly down at our joined hands, and a sudden wave of embarrassment made me pull mine back — and it came apart almost too easily.
“You don’t have to be shy about it.”
“…Yui-san, you never said ‘date.’ Didn’t you say you were taking me as an ‘apology’?”
“Did I say that?”
“…Honestly, you’re way too smooth for your own good.”
I stood and started walking, and Yui-san fell into step behind me.
Being with this person is comfortable because she matches everything to me — even her walking pace, everything.
I’d first noticed it going out with Hayakawa-kun. I’d thought maybe men just walked fast in general, but that wasn’t it. Yui-san had simply always been matching her pace to mine.
“Getting hungry yet? Want to find a restaurant?”
Catching up beside me, Yui-san took my right hand gently, fingers lacing through mine.
Hey, how do you always know? I wanted to ask. Could Yui-san actually read minds?
It felt almost like magic.
*
We spent the whole day touring the aquarium and, as an apology gift, she even bought me an orca plushie — a thoroughly satisfying day.
Climbing into the car, I set the plushie on my lap. The moment the engine started, cool AC air rushed out, and it felt wonderful.
“I had so much fun today.”
“Good. Just say the word and I’ll take you anywhere. Aquarium, zoo, amusement park, whatever.”
“…Isn’t that a hassle for you?”
“Not at all.”
Yui-san’s hand squeezed mine, gentle. We’d been holding hands basically all day, and yet, alone together in the car like this, having my hand held felt strangely embarrassing all over again.
“Does this… mean I’m forgiven?”
Yui-san was watching my expression carefully. I’d told her she didn’t need to apologize for the kiss, but now that I thought about it, I’d never actually said the words I forgive you.
I’d forgiven her so long ago I’d completely forgotten I hadn’t said it out loud.
Had she been quietly worrying about that, this whole time?
“I’m not angry anymore. …If anything, after all this, I feel bad on the other end. Today was genuinely so much fun.”
She’d driven the whole way, bought the tickets, even bought me the plushie.
Asked whether my lips were really worth all that, honestly, I couldn’t help thinking I’d come out ahead.
Our linked fingers slipped gently apart. Her hand rose instead, coming to rest softly against my cheek.
Eyes the deep color of the night sea held me, wouldn’t let go.
“I had fun too.”
Her thumb traced softly over my lips. Blood rushed to my heart all at once, pounding, hard.
Caught in that gaze, I nearly forgot to breathe.
Too beautiful. Like drowning — I couldn’t breathe at all.
“…Kanata.”
She said my name. The voice ringing in my ears was so much sweeter, so much gentler than usual.
Please don’t say my name in a voice that kind.
Please don’t look at me like that, like I’m something unbearably precious.
Her hand slid around the back of my neck, drawing me in. Yui-san leaned forward, the distance closing.
I knew, on instinct, that I was about to be kissed.
Why — there wasn’t even time to ask the question, it happened so naturally, like this was simply how things went.
My eyes had just started to drift shut on their own when, with only a few centimeters left between our lips, a ringtone suddenly cut through the air.
Yui-san went still, all at once.
The sound wasn’t from my phone. A name lit up on the car’s navigation display. An incoming call for Yui-san.
Kitagami Shinji. A man’s name I’d never seen before.
The instant she saw it, Yui-san let out a weary sigh.
She reached out and tapped the “decline” button on the nav screen.
When she leaned in again, trying to close the distance once more, I’d gathered myself enough to shove the orca plushie from my lap straight into her face, blocking her.
“…Kanata.”
Her voice, muffled and faintly put out from behind the plush orca, made me laugh a little.
“Shouldn’t you answer that?”
“That was someone from the company. It’s Saturday, no need to pick up. I’ll call back later, it’s fine.”
“Still… trying to kiss someone on the very first date, Yui-san, isn’t that moving a little fast?”
Conveniently ignoring how close I’d come to getting swept along myself just a moment ago, I gave her an accusing look.
Honestly, that had been genuinely dangerous. My heart was still racing.
“…So how many dates would be enough, then?”
“Is that really the question here? Geez, you haven’t learned a thing… Are you even actually sorry?”
The sunset pouring in through the window — please, let it disguise how red my cheeks have gone.
“…Really, not even once?”
“…Not even once.”
If I let myself be kissed right now, I don’t think I’d be able to refuse her again after that.
It scared me, just a little. Like some door inside myself, one I didn’t even know existed, was about to be forced open, and the thought made me flinch.
Yui-san had been staring at me steadily, but she finally let out a small, resigned sigh, giving up. Watching her look that disappointed left me strangely, ticklishly pleased.
And here she is, someone who’s kissed — and done far more than kiss — plenty of other girls without a second thought.
She says I’m special, but I have no idea how many “special” people there actually are, in Yui-san’s book.
“…Right. Got it.”
She took my hand gently, and before I knew it, pressed a small kiss to the back of it.
I sat there, dumbstruck, staring, and Yui-san let out a soft laugh.
“…I’ll let this be enough, for today.”
Hearing that, my face went completely, thoroughly red. Even the sunset couldn’t cover for me now, and I turned away in a hurry.
“Well, let’s head home.”
Yui-san took the wheel like nothing at all had happened.
My heart never once settled the whole drive, as the car pulled away, heading for home.
Next week, I have to go back to my family in England.
Only three weeks. But in that time, how many women will this person kiss, how many nights will she spend with someone else?
Just thinking about it, I could feel something dark and heavy settling, thick, at the bottom of my chest.
I can’t even remember anymore how I used to live, before I met Yui-san.
Not wanting to be apart from her, even for a moment — something’s definitely wrong with me right now.