Episode 35: For me, kissing Kanata is what matters most

Once Christmas was over, the time until New Year’s Eve truly flew by. Before I knew it, it was morning on the first of January.

My parents had told me to come back, but using the excuse that my exams weren’t finished yet, I decided to stay in Japan for New Year’s this year.

Thanks to that, I was able to welcome the New Year with Yui-san, and today we’ve promised to go to the first shrine visit together.

　Ever since Yui-san opened a large bag of sliced mochi in the kitchen for breakfast, I couldn’t stop feeling excited. Apparently, you can toast mochi in a toaster.

It was my first time eating sliced mochi seasoned with the sweet-salty flavour of sugar and soy sauce. The savoury aroma of toasted nori and soy sauce made me smile.

“Is it tasty?”

“It’s delicious. I’d like another one.”

Just a few minutes earlier, when asked how many I wanted, I’d said one was fine. Pretending to have forgotten, I said that again. Yui-san laughed and said, “Alright,” then stood up.

After Christmas, there was one day when Yui-san said she had a dinner party and wasn’t home. The next day, beside the pale blue paper bag that had been placed next to the accessory tray, another paper bag had appeared.

　That person, I thought, feeling a vague sense of unease.

When I asked Yui-san if she received a Christmas present from Kitakami-san every year, she said she didn’t remember. But judging by this feeling, she probably receives presents every year without fail, for her birthday and Christmas.

Yui-san says nothing. So I ask nothing either.

　It’s alright, he’s a man. There’s nothing to worry about. I repeated those words in my mind, as if to convince myself.

“Kanata, the mochi’s ready.”

She offered me the delicious-looking mochi with a gentle gaze.

Yui-san will do anything I ask. That makes me unbearably happy. Pampered, I find myself becoming more and more selfish.

　This must be a privilege granted only to me. So it’s alright.

“Thank you.”

The mochi I bit into was delicious, as expected, and my cheeks split into a smile. Yui-san watched me across the table, beaming.

Whenever I’m eating something delicious, Yui-san always looks at me with such obvious delight.

I liked that about Yui. That look of hers, making me feel as though she might like me, might love me, always set my heart aflame deep within.

　After breakfast, I’d change clothes and finish getting ready to go out.

When I fumbled fastening the necklace around the back of my neck, Yui-san would gently help me.

“You’re surprisingly clumsy, Kanata. You always take ages taking it off too.”

Saying that, Yui-san giggled softly, so I turned around, feeling a bit put out. But I’d never really worn jewellery much before, so I thought it was only natural.

“…I’m just not used to it yet. I’ll manage on my own eventually.”

“I’ll do it for you every day, so it doesn’t matter if you can’t.”

She said it so casually that my heart skipped a beat. I almost asked, ‘Every day until when?’

That’s how Yui-san always lets me get away with anything I can’t do. Being around someone like you makes me feel like I’m falling apart, and it scares me.

　I fall into this illusion that I couldn’t possibly live without Yui-san anymore.

“Right then, Kanata, you do mine too.”

Saying that, Yui-san smiled and handed me her scarf. The one I, “Santa Claus”, gave her for Christmas.

Looking down at me with a beaming smile, I understood what she was about to say and felt my cheeks grow slightly warm.

“…You can wrap it yourself, can’t you?”

Embarrassed, I clutched the scarf tightly and retorted with a flippant remark. Accustomed to my unattractive behaviour, she tilted her head slightly and stared intently at me.

“I did it for you, didn’t I? You do it for me too.”

“…Are you the type who wants someone to tie your tie for you, Yui?”

“I don’t wear ties.”

“…Your high school uniform had a tie, right? You’ve definitely had your ex-girlfriend tie it for you, haven’t you?”

Even as I said it, imagining it made me feel irritated. I can’t tie a tie myself. I’ve never even done my dad’s.

“I don’t remember something from back then. Come on, hurry up. We’ll be late getting out.”

Even if you say ‘back then’, you couldn’t possibly have forgotten something from just a few years ago. But there’s no point getting upset over something like this, so I’ll let Yui-san win for now, seeing her smiling so cheerfully.

“…Oh well. Then, could you bend down a little?”

Yui-san is about ten centimetres taller than me, so she has to bend down for me to reach.

　I raised my hand to spread out the scarf and drape it around her neck, but Yui gently bent down and pulled me close around the waist.

Just as I thought, ‘Huh?’, her perfectly shaped face was right there, and her lips gently pressed against mine. Lately, Yui keeps kissing me like this, out of the blue. My lipstick — I’d only just put it on — is going to come off.

　Even as I thought that, each time our lips touched at different angles, an indescribable pleasure overwhelmed my senses.

Our lips parted, and our eyes met at point-blank range. Her eyes narrowed mischievously, and I felt thoroughly outmanoeuvred, blushing as I looked away.

“Didn’t you want me to wrap the scarf around you…?”

“Yes, wrap it on quickly.”

Her gentle voice tickled my heart. Yui-san’s ability to sense when I’m about to get upset is frighteningly sharp. Though I suppose it’s just me being me, easily cheered up again with a kiss like this.

　When I wrapped the scarf around her, Yui-san smiled happily.

“Kanata, I’ll reapply your lipstick for you.”

Saying that, she wiped away my smudged lipstick and picked up the one she favoured.

“Why, yours…?”

“Hmm? I thought if it was the same colour, maybe we could kiss.”

Her matter-of-fact tone made my face flush.

“We’re going to the shrine for the first visit of the year… If you keep thinking such naughty thoughts, the gods won’t grant your wishes.”

At that, Yui laughed. She gently lifted my chin and pressed her lips softly against mine. The colour of Yui’s lips. The taste of Yui’s lips. Why? My heart was pounding.

“It’s fine. The gods have never granted a single one of my wishes anyway. Kissing you is far more important to me.”

To say her wishes had never come true… what a lonely thing to say. It felt like my heart was being squeezed tight.

I don’t know how many wishes there were before. What on earth was Yui-san’s wish that went unheard?

What could she have wished for? Such a selfless person.

Holding hands, chatting about trivial things on the way to the first shrine visit of the year, I kept thinking about that.

＊＊＊

　Ah, that’s right — this is what New Year in Japan is like, isn’t it? The first shrine visit. Quite crowded, with food stalls, and the occasional person in kimono.

“…Yui, I want to go to the stalls later.”

“Yeah, sure.”

I clasped Yui’s hand tightly, careful not to get separated in the throng.

“I heard Ritsu is here today too. Do you think we’ll bump into her?”

“So Ritsu-san didn’t go home for the holidays?”

“Same reason as Kanata. She said she didn’t go back because she wanted to study.”

My reason for not going home was because I wanted to be with Yui-san. Studying wasn’t really the reason.

　I wonder who she came to the shrine with. Come to think of it, there’s something I’ve been curious about for a while.

“…Does Ritsu-san have a boyfriend?”

“Ah, not at the moment. Ritsu isn’t really the type to stick with someone long-term.”

“Is that so? Somehow, she seems so dependable, you wouldn’t think so.”

“That’s the problem with being so considerate. You treat everyone equally, don’t you, Ritsu? Apparently, it makes boyfriends feel neglected.”

“…I see.”

I suppose even if I dated someone, Ritsu-san would probably stay exactly the same. Admittedly, that might be lonely.

I’m the type who wants the person I like to think of me first, so I understand that feeling. There’s no doubt Yui-san is the reason I feel that way now.

“I’d like to see her, Ritsu.”

“After we finish the New Year shrine visit, shall we give her a call?”

Grabbing every last coin from my purse, I tossed them into the offering box. Clinking the bells, I clapped my hands firmly, hoping my wish would be heard.

Closing my eyes. May this year bring Yui happiness.

　I earnestly wished for that. It was probably the first time I’d ever prayed for someone else’s happiness.

After finishing my prayer, I quietly glanced at Yui beside me. Her eyes were lowered.

What was she wishing for? I wanted to know what Yui desired. Was it something that couldn’t be granted without divine intervention?

If that was the case, then please, may that wish be granted this year at last.

I closed my eyes once more and prayed from the bottom of my heart.