Episode 16: A Small Step ⑴

“What’s wrong? Why such a troubled look?”

Mai peered closely at my face.

“Nothing, just feeling a bit down about the weekend.”

This weekend, I have plans with Endo-san.
But that’s not all. My sister is coming home for the first time in ages.

Thanks to going out with Endo-san, I’ll be spending less time at home — but even so, I still feel gloomy.

　Whenever she comes back, she always makes a point of talking to me.

As if she has any idea how I feel…

“Anyway, you. Don’t you have anything to tell me?”
Sniffing disdainfully, Mai puffed out her chest and said this.

“Did something happen?”
I couldn’t recall anything.

“How was the basketball match?”
Ah… thanks to Endo-san and my sister, I’d completely forgotten.

“It was good.”
　As if to say “Is that all?”, she wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a gentle squeeze.

“Stop it, you’re choking me!”

“Can’t you think of anything better to say?”

We were having this exchange in the corridor, so quite a few students saw us. Not wanting any more attention, I told her, “Mai, you looked brilliant, sparkling. It made my heart race, somehow.”

This wasn’t a lie. That day, I was genuinely moved, to the point where my heart stirred.

　With her arm around my neck, Mai’s face was close, so I could see her clearly. She seemed surprised I’d said that, her expression shifting from shock to embarrassment as her cheeks flushed.

Mai doesn’t lie and she’s honest, so I find that kind of thing cute. Her straightforwardness in expressing her feelings made me feel a little embarrassed too, my face growing warm.

As we were fumbling through that exchange, I felt eyes on us. Looking in that direction, I saw Endo-san standing there.

　Mai must have noticed too, because she loosened the arms wrapped around my neck and gave a silly greeting:
“Hina-ya-poo!” When Mai said that, Endo-san, unusually, looked slightly awkward.

“Takizawa-san looks troubled, so let go,”
Endo-san’s slightly cold voice reached us.

“Hina-san, aren’t you being a bit cold today?”
Mai said cheerfully, releasing her hold on me. As soon as Endo-san confirmed that, she disappeared from the spot immediately.

“Hoshizora-san, do you know Hina?”

Mai’s sudden question nearly made me jump out of my skin.

“Isn’t it because Mai talks a lot?”
“Definitely!”

Though curious about what she might be saying, I steered the conversation away from the topic.

　Today was the day Endo-san came to the library.
For some reason, I felt restless and nervous.

“Sorry to keep you.”
“Good work.”

We exchanged greetings matter-of-factly and began studying.
Just as I thought she was concentrating properly, Endo-san started getting bored with her work.

“Do I have to memorise all these equations?”
“Yes, you do.”
“Ugh, so it’s not going to be easy, is it?”

　…………

“Um…” “Hey…”

Our attempts to speak overlapped.

“Endo-san, go ahead.”
“Right then… how was the basketball match?”
“It was fun.”
“Really? Didn’t you find the rules confusing?”
“I did try to learn the basics from videos before going. I felt bad turning up knowing nothing, so I looked it up. Thanks to that, I enjoyed watching it a lot more.”
“Was that for me?”

She asked, her eyes sparkling.

“For Mai.”

Perhaps because I answered in such an obviously displeased tone, the conversation ended there.

“—So, what was Takizawa going to say?”

What I was about to say wasn’t very pleasant. I took a deep breath, exhaled, and opened my mouth.

“I’d rather you didn’t interact with me too much at school—”
“Why?”
“Being with me probably makes Endo-san look bad, and frankly, I don’t really want to be involved with someone like Endo-san anyway.”

Right now, our relationship is based on me teaching and her learning, so I’m trying to phrase this carefully. In a school setting without that dynamic, I wouldn’t know what to say and would be too conscious of others’ eyes.

“I don’t mind what people think of me, but what do you mean by ‘don’t really want to be involved with someone like me’?”
“You’re so dazzlingly bright, I feel like I’d get burnt and vanish if I stayed near you.”
“Are you some sort of vampire, Takizawa?”

I’d tried to phrase it carefully so Endo-san wouldn’t be hurt, but she just replied with that joking tone.

“I just want to live quietly at school. Without drawing attention, without causing trouble for anyone.”
“…Right. I won’t talk to you at school. Though I’m not entirely convinced what makes Mai and me so different…”

Admittedly, Mai and Endo-san might be similar types. But Mai has been with me since first year, so it feels natural. If Endo-san, who’s always at the centre of the class, suddenly started associating with me, everyone would definitely notice.

That’s the one thing I absolutely can’t stand.

After that gloomy conversation, I didn’t meet Endo-san at study sessions either, and the promised Saturday arrived.