Episode 67
I’d eaten it all…
Without thinking, I rubbed my stomach.
I always ate lunch in the cafeteria, so I should have been full anyway, but today I felt fuller than usual.
The afternoon passed in a hazy stretch of time, as if I were concentrating and not concentrating at once. I couldn’t work out what to say to Fujishiro.
First, thanks for the lunch.
Next…?
Guilt kept welling up in me, so I didn’t want her doing this kind of thing.
I didn’t want it, but I could picture her face falling if I said so. Then again, if I didn’t say it plainly, she’d probably just make another one.
For now, I decided I’d go and see her as soon as work was over.
Usually I checked what everyone around me was doing before getting ready to leave, but today I started tidying up before anyone had told me I could go.
I said a subdued “Thank you for your work” and hurried outside.
There was no need to rush, and yet my legs kept carrying me forward. Before I knew it I was walking fast enough to be out of breath, so I slowed down to settle myself.
At the apartment building, I whipped my tired legs up the stairs. I stopped in front of the flat just before mine.
I let out one big breath and rang the intercom. A cheerful voice answered from inside, and the door opened.
“Morishita? Are you done with work?”
“Yeah. Um…”
“Well, standing around talking is silly, come into my place.”
“Huh?”
“This time I’ll show you around my flat.”
Fujishiro had no intention of listening to me and tugged me along by the hand. Before I realised it, I was inside her flat.
The moment I entered there was a citrus scent, and the room I could see beyond the entrance was tidy, giving off a feeling of cleanliness even from a distance.
“Excuse me…”
“Ha ha. You always say that when you come to my place, Morishita.”
“Is that strange?”
“No, I just think it’s polite.”
Inside the room, Fujishiro’s scent tickled my nose.
A scent that felt nostalgic, or like something I smelled every day.
I washed my hands, was shown to a spot on the floor, sat down, and looked around.
Aside from the bed, bookshelf, low table, and TV, there was hardly anything else. By the kitchen there was only a fridge and a microwave. It was a simple room.
The bookshelf held books I’d read at her place, and books I hadn’t.
Anyway, this was no time to be gawking at her room.
I took the arabesque-patterned bento box out of my bag and handed it to her.
“Thanks for the bento. It was good.”
“I’m glad. I’m planning to make a variety so you don’t get bored, but forgive me if some days the side dishes overlap.”
“Huh?”
Fujishiro had started saying incomprehensible things, and a sharp voice slipped out of me.
And yet Fujishiro laughed happily.
“Let me make your bento every day, okay?”
“I don’t understand.”
“A bento’s just packing food in a box.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Oh, it’s like this. It’s not for your sake or anything. It’s hard to cook for just one person. I always make too much, so it’s the leftovers. So think of eating it as helping someone out.”
Even so, I still didn’t understand.
What was the right answer for me? Should I believe Fujishiro’s words and accept? Or turn her offer down?
I kept my eyes lowered as I continued.
“Is there something…”
“Something?”
“…that you want, Fujishiro?”
“Hm? Oh, I’m doing this on my own, so you don’t have to worry about it, Morishita?”
“Even so, I feel bad.”
I knew, or thought I knew, how hard cooking was and how much it cost. I felt bad about the effort it would take every single day.
Even as we talked, Fujishiro brought a big pile of manga from the bookshelf and set it on the low table. Then she quietly sat down beside me.
“Then, I’d like you to hang out with me regularly.”
“Hang out?”
“Morishita, you have weekends off, right? I want to go out on weekends, so help me shop.”
“That’s all?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s not enough.”
“Then will you kiss me?”
Words I’d never expected came flying at me, and I stared at Fujishiro with wide eyes. Ignoring the feelings I was busily turning over, Fujishiro clutched her stomach and giggled.
“Joking. You’ll be in charge of carrying the shopping. I still haven’t gotten used to the new area, so it helps just to have you come along. Is that no good?”
“…Fine.”
I didn’t know whether it was all right to agree, but if it turned out not to match the price of the bento, I figured I could think about it then.
I’d given my answer, but somehow it felt like I’d fallen neatly into Fujishiro’s strategy.
Realising it now was too late.
Fujishiro clapped her hands together as if to say that was the end of the matter and pointed at the manga.
“The author of the manga you used to read has a new series out. Want to read it?”
“Yeah…”
“Then I’ll go over what we covered in my uni classes.”
Saying that, Fujishiro opened her textbooks beside me.
It had been quite a while since I’d seen her profile this way.
It felt nostalgic, and my chest tingled.
Good.
It’s the same as always.
I’d been a little worried about whether I could talk to Fujishiro normally, but it seemed I needn’t have worried.
I reached for her manga and began turning the pages.
But before I could get absorbed, I became curious about how Fujishiro was doing and turned to look.
Her hair had fallen forward, hiding her profile, and it bothered me. I gently reached out, tucked her hair behind her ear, and Fujishiro looked up and met my eyes straight on.
Her eyes wavered, and soon her cheeks flushed red. She propped up an elbow as if to hide her face and turned away.
No.
It wasn’t the same as always at all.
I felt that Fujishiro was only playing at being normal.
After all, the two of us didn’t have the same kind of relationship we’d had in high school.
Fujishiro’s words on graduation day had clearly changed what we were to each other.
There was nothing sad about it, yet my chest throbbed with pain.
“Sorry for doing something unpleasant.”
“It’s not unpleasant! It’s, um…”
Fujishiro looked at me seriously. Even so, her cheeks were still bright red.
What should I do?
I’d never had anyone direct that kind of feeling at me, so I didn’t know. I couldn’t even tell whether Fujishiro’s feelings were real.
In the first place, I didn’t even know what real affection was.
Should I leave here right now? Or stay put as if nothing were wrong?
I turned it over frantically in my mind, then tugged on Fujishiro’s cheek.
“Your face is red.”
“Wha…! That’s because you’re doing lewd things, Morishita.”
“All I did was tuck your hair back.”
“I-I know, but…”
Fujishiro slipped out of my hand at once, puffed her cheeks in vexation, and scowled with her brow creased.
She looked like a ripe cherry, and I found it endearing.
“Can I read a bit more manga before I go home?”
“Of course. Let’s have dinner together.”
“No. I’ve decided to cook for myself.”
“Oh, okay.”
She said it in a disappointed voice, but she started her studies at my side anyway.
Reassured, I read the manga a little more slowly.
After that I said a casual “See you” and left her flat.
Once I got home, I slapped both cheeks to psych myself up.
I’d been running from cooking for myself with excuses.
Even in high school, I’d hesitated to cook because I feared my mother’s judgement.
But now, whatever anyone thought, I wanted to be able to cook for Fujishiro.
Because it galled me to be losing to her.
I thought it was ridiculous to show my competitive streak in such an odd place, but remembering how Fujishiro had looked yesterday, I tried making fried rice.
Unfortunately, it fell well short of the salted rice ball Fujishiro had first handed me, and the fried rice came out so salty that I laughed out loud, alone in my flat.