Episode 8: Might Not Be Able to Go Home Alone

Today, Hayakawa-kun is coming to return the umbrella Yui-san lent him. That alone would be fine, but he’s deliberately coming to my part-time job at my usual finishing time and insists on treating me to dinner.

It’s not the first time a man has shown interest in me. I’ve experienced the usual sort of things between the sexes that typical students go through.

　I don’t think he’s a bad person. I thought he was nice from the moment we met, and I don’t dislike talking to him as a colleague.

But… my feeling that I’d rather not meet him outside the shop hasn’t changed.

I thought, if he’d just been clear about it, I could have refused… but I quickly reconsidered.

Because I don’t want things getting awkward at work.

　A gloomy morning. I sigh while brewing coffee in the kitchen. Immediately, I regret choosing coffee. The rising aroma only makes me think more intensely about work.

“Morning, Kanata.”

“…Good morning.”

After what happened yesterday, Yui-san appeared from her room looking completely unconcerned. She stretched, her T-shirt revealing her toned stomach, and I hurriedly looked away.

It’s because Yui-san said those things yesterday that I’m oddly conscious of it now.

“…You smell like you’ve just come back from work, Kanata.”

“Ah… you noticed? I got the beans from the master at my shop. Would you like some too, Yui-san?”

“Yes, thank you. I’ll go wash my face first.”

Unlike me, who tends to dwell on things, Yui-san is fundamentally always refreshingly straightforward.

It’s the opposite of me, who overthinks everything. Considering Yui-san’s personality, I figured she wouldn’t choose someone troublesome.

　While Yui-san was washing her face, I decided to prepare the salad.

Whenever Yui-san made breakfast, the cherry tomatoes in the salad were always halved, and she served the toast with butter spread on it.

On the other hand, I just added the cherry tomatoes whole and left the butter on the table, but she never said anything about it.

Come to think of it, since we started living together, Yui-san has never once voiced any dissatisfaction.

　At first, I just thought she was a kind person. But recently, I’ve come to realise something.

Yui probably never placed excessive expectations on others from the start.

Because she can manage everything herself, she has the leeway to be kind to others too.

It struck me as a world of difference from my own flawed self.

“Kanata, you’ve got work today, don’t you?”

Yui-san, sitting opposite me at the dining table, asked casually, as if it were nothing.

I tried to appear calm, but I just couldn’t bring myself to look her straight in the eye. Keeping my gaze lowered, I tried to spear a tomato with my fork, but it slipped away.

“Yes. I’ll be late today.”

“Oh, right. Shall I come and pick you up?”

“No, it’s fine today. I’ve got plans after work… I’ll grab dinner on my way home.”

Truthfully, I wasn’t keen. Being alone with Yui-san felt awkward somehow, and I wanted a bit of time and space.

I needed to sort out my thoughts first. Being with Yui-san just made my feelings sway back and forth.

“Hmm…”

Her reply seemed to carry some meaning, and I couldn’t help but look up. Our eyes met, and Yui-san gave me a gentle smile.

“Going on a date with Hayakawa-kun?”

“Eh?”

I hadn’t said I was going out for dinner with Hayakawa-kun, so how did she know it was him? My surprise must have shown, because Yui-san narrowed her eyes slightly.

“Kanata, you’re so easy to read, it’s adorable.”

“…What are you talking about? That’s not it. It’s not a date.”

It’s not that I’m easy to understand; it’s just that Yui-san is perceptive. I think she’s genuinely skilled at discerning people’s desires.

She’ll drape a blanket over your knees without you saying you’re cold, and drinks appear as a matter of course before you mention being thirsty.

“He seems devoted. Isn’t that fine?”

Is that really the case? I recall Hayakawa-kun blushing when he first met Yui-san.

　Yui-san said it with such utter disinterest, it felt a bit off.
She’d said I was cute or something, even if it was a joke, and then invited me out for the evening, only to casually suggest another man.

“…Do you really think so? That it’s okay to date him?”

I voiced something I didn’t believe. Dating him? I’d never even considered it.
Saying this to Yui-san… what did I want her to say to me?

　Her eyes, like the deepest night sea, fixed straight upon me.

I truly can’t fathom what Yui-san is thinking.

One moment she draws near, the next she pushes me away. I can never quite grasp her distance, leaving me feeling like I’m sinking into an unfathomably deep sea.

“Hmm… If you want to Kanata, then why not?”

See? There she goes again, retreating far, far away.

　This person, who should always give me the words I crave, absolutely refuses to say the crucial ones.

＊＊＊

Hayakawa-kun appeared at my part-time job right at my closing time.

Holding Yui-san’s umbrella, his shy smile was dazzling.

“Aosawa, long time no see.”

“Good evening.”

I was glad I could collect the umbrella before the weather turned. The weekly forecast said rain was coming the day after tomorrow, so Hayakawa-kun, whose shifts hadn’t overlapped with mine for a while, must have deliberately chosen today.

“Good work. Right, let’s go. I’ve booked a place. It’s on me tonight.”

“Um, are you sure? I can’t really accept that…”

Was it really okay to let him treat me? I stared at Hayakawa-kun, and he smiled happily, thumping his chest.

“Just got my wages, so it’s fine.”

My chest twinged slightly. Hayakawa-kun is a good person. And right now, I’m exploiting that good person’s feelings.

Because of yesterday, I can’t stop thinking about Yui-san. Because she didn’t say the words I wanted to hear. …This is childish.

I walked slightly behind Hayakawa-kun. Men really do walk fast, I thought to myself.

　The restaurant he took me to was… well, it was a rather… no, it was a seriously upmarket private room establishment. The prices on the menu were the sort that would take some nerve for a first-year university student to afford.

I’d assumed it would be something like a set-meal place near his part-time job.
Since we’re both nineteen and can’t drink alcohol, I’d reckoned there’d be no worry about him inviting me out for drinks. But this… this seems like the real deal.

“Eat whatever you like.”

“Er, is that alright? Won’t you end up spending all your wages…”

This was beyond a simple thank-you. It was definitely the sort of place you’d go on a date. I knew what Hayakawa-kun was up to and agreed anyway, but still.

I gave a wry smile at Hayakawa-kun, who just laughed and said it was fine. So, I ordered the cheapest items I could find.

　When talking with Hayakawa-kun, there was none of that tentative, probing atmosphere I felt when speaking with Yui-san. Time simply passed as we exchanged trivial chatter.

　After the clock hands had made a full circle and a bit, and we’d finished eating, Hayakawa-kun suddenly started fidgeting. He grew quieter too.

It’s about time, I thought. I need to leave before he invites me somewhere else. I’d sorted my thoughts out sufficiently already.

“Aosawa, listen…!”

Just as Hayakawa-kun resolved himself to speak, my mobile phone began to vibrate on the table. Both pairs of eyes turned towards it. Checking the notification, I saw it was from Ritsu-san.

“Excuse me.”

Interrupting Hayakawa-kun as he was about to begin, I picked up my phone. It was unusual for Ritsu-san to contact me at this hour.
I tapped the chat app.

‘I’m absolutely gutted tonight. Did something happen with Yui?’

The photo sent alongside the message jumped out at me.

It showed Yui-san, seemingly drunk, clinging tightly to a girl from behind in a dimly lit bar, refusing to let go.

“……………….”

A popping sound accompanied another message.

‘Yui’s had too much to drink and might not make it home alone. Can you come pick her up, Kanata? Or should we just have someone take her home tonight?’

I clenched my phone so tightly it made a cracking sound. It was unconscious. I could feel the veins bulging on my forehead.

‘Ah, Aosawa…? You look scary… but, are you… okay?’

“…I’m sorry, I need to step away for a moment.”

Still clutching the phone, I headed straight for the loo. I didn’t know what this feeling was. I couldn’t understand it.

But I knew what I had to do right now.

After a few rings, Ritsu answered and I practically shouted into the phone.

“Ritsu, where are you drinking right now? I’m coming to pick her up, so tell me where you are.”