Episode 32: Was I a Good Girl?

Once December arrived, autumn vanished in the blink of an eye, and mornings and evenings grew thoroughly chilly.

I placed the small Christmas tree I’d bought at the general store on the living room counter.

Yui-san’s home was tidy, simple, and contained few possessions, so even that little tree, perched there, added a touch of seasonal feeling.

　Truthfully, I’d have preferred a larger tree, but as a lodger, I couldn’t really complain.

“That’s lovely. Where did you get it?”

Yui-san asked as she arranged today’s main dish on the dining table.

“From a little shop near my part-time job.”

“Oh? I didn’t know there was a shop like that.”

“Yui-san, do you not usually put up things like Christmas trees or wreaths?”

“I’ve never decorated. Is that normal?”

I didn’t know what ‘normal’ was, but in the Aosawa household, my mother liked that sort of thing, so we decorated.
So I’d assumed most ordinary households did the same.

“I don’t know. We did decorate at my place.”

While Yui-san ladled out the soup, I went into the kitchen to serve rice into bowls.

　That lovely smell had been wafting through the air for ages, and my stomach had been rumbling non-stop.

“…Well, Santa did come to our house too, at least until primary school.”

Yui-san said, giggling softly.

“Oh, really? How long did you believe, Yui-san?”

I pictured a young Yui-san. She must have been absolutely adorable.

“I knew from the start it was Dad, but I kept quiet about it. Then, when I was in fourth year, I think? I got up in the middle of the night to use the loo and bumped into Dad dressed as Santa in the hallway.”

“Eh?”

“He was the type to go all out, I suppose. He even had a beard on. And I just couldn’t help but laugh.”

　I couldn’t help imagining it and laughing too. Yui-san’s father, who looks like a Doberman, doing something like that.

“After that, Father Christmas stopped coming.”

I think Yui-san’s father must be a clumsy but deeply affectionate person.

But thinking about it that way makes it even more baffling. Why did Yukiyasu-san and his father fall out?

　When I clasped my hands together and said, “Let’s eat,” she’d reply, “Enjoy your meal.”

Perhaps because I’ve been home more lately, Yui-san has been cooking dinner for me more often.

Everything Yui-san cooks is delicious. Sitting together at the table, sharing stories about our day – this time had become precious to me.

My gaze drifted to the small decorated tree. Christmas was approaching soon.

　I wonder what Yui-san will do. Spend it with family? Or perhaps go out drinking?

This will be our first Christmas together since meeting. I wonder how Yui-san has spent this day until now.

“…Yui-san. What did you always do on Christmas?”

“Eh? Stayed at home, every year.”

“Really? You’d think you’d get invited out by all sorts of girls…”

“Well, you’d have to choose just one, wouldn’t you? It’d be unfair to get their hopes up for no reason.”

True. Spending Christmas together feels quite special, and if you don’t intend to reciprocate their feelings, Yui-san’s choice makes sense.

But — hearing her say that makes it a bit awkward to say. That I want to spend Christmas together.

“Hmm… I see.”

“What about you, Kanata? You wouldn’t say you’re going on a date with Hayakawa-kun, would you?”

Across the table, those dark eyes fixed on me.

I still hadn’t told Yui-san that I’d properly turned down Hayakawa-kun’s confession. The main reason was that I wasn’t confident I could smoothly dodge questions about why.

“No way. I don’t have any plans.”

Shaking my head from side to side as I said that, Yui-san suddenly broke into a smile.

“Well then, since we’re here, why don’t we go on a date?”

“A date, you say?”

Hadn’t you just said it was pointless to get my hopes up about spending Christmas with a girl? So does that mean I can hope after all? The words rose to my throat, but I swallowed them back.

“Let’s go buy a Christmas present. I’ll buy you a lovely necklace.”

Yui-san said that and smiled brightly. She must have remembered me saying how lovely the necklace she always wore was.

“Well then, what would you like, Yui-san?”

If that’s the case, I want to give Yui-san a present too. I couldn’t give her one for her birthday after all, so Christmas is the time.

“I’m fine without one.”

Her casual reply made me bristle. Yui-san was always like this.

She did everything for me and was so kind, yet she hardly ever expected anything in return.

“…I work part-time too, so I can afford a present.”

The hourly wage at the café where I worked wasn’t bad. I was on the roster quite a lot and had saved up a decent amount.

“Spend your wages on yourself. You’ve been a good girl all year, Kanata, so you’ve earned the right to receive a present.”

“If you’re going to say that, then Yui-san too…”

“A good girl? Me?”

“Well… that’s… debatable.”

When I said it honestly, Yui-san chuckled. I don’t think Yui-san is a good girl. If anything, she was a bad girl. In many ways.

“Once we’ve finished shopping, shall we grab a bite somewhere before heading home?”

Knowing Yui, she’d undoubtedly arrange some ridiculously expensive hotel dinner or something.

Thinking that, I shook my head at the suggestion.

“I’d like to eat cake at home. And… shall we cook dinner together?”

I’ve never really cooked before, and Yui always makes everything for me, but I’d like to try cooking together sometime.

　It’s Christmas after all, and a party at home would be fun too.

When I said that, Yui-san smiled gently.

“Alright. I’ll reserve a delicious cake then. Think about what you’d like to eat.”

I’m glad we could make plans for Christmas.

Yui-san says she doesn’t want a present, but I’ll just go ahead and get one anyway.

Even if I can’t afford anything too fancy, I’m sure Yui-san will be happy with whatever I give her.

　The pale blue bag sitting beside the accessory tray still had its ribbon tied around the handle.

The one Yui-san received for her birthday. Probably jewellery, but she didn’t seem inclined to wear it, or even open the box.

Considering the feelings of the person who sent the present — ‘Kitakami-san’ — I felt a bit sorry for them. But I was genuinely relieved that sender was a man.

　Had the sender been a woman, I might not have stood a chance.

“…The person who gave that present… Kitakami-san, was it?”

I muttered, staring at the untouched paper bag.

I recall Yukiyasu-san mentioned him being his childhood friend, the son of the managing director at his father’s company.

　If he’s Yukiyasu-san’s childhood friend, does that mean Yui-san has known him since she was little too?

Does he like Yui-san? She’s beautiful and kind, and surely popular not just with women but with men too.

“Does he give you presents every Christmas too?”

When I casually asked that, Yui-san’s chopsticks stopped abruptly.

“…Why?”

“I just wondered if that might be the case.”

It might be more accurate to call it a woman’s intuition. Giving someone a high-end jewellery brand present for their birthday isn’t something just anyone does.

If that’s the case, it seems natural to assume he does the same at Christmas.

“Hmm, I can’t quite remember, I’ve forgotten.”

Yui-san said it so casually, she really seemed uninterested in him, so I felt somewhat relieved and breathed a sigh of relief.

Even if someone fancied Yui-san, it shouldn’t matter if she had no intention of reciprocating.

Especially a man who, from Yui-san’s perspective, was ‘not a romantic prospect’. He couldn’t even be considered a rival.

Is it because he’s a colleague that he doesn’t know Yui-san is a lesbian?

Is that why he keeps making advances? Or perhaps she finds it bothersome but can’t refuse because he’s a colleague?

　The more I thought about it, the more puzzling it became.

There wasn’t a single reason to worry. Yet, I couldn’t stop thinking about ‘Kitakami-san’.

“Christmas, isn’t it exciting?”

Across the table, Yui-san smiled happily.

The fact she chose me for this special day meant I could at least assume I was her top priority right now.

I stared intently at Yui-san, beaming away.

　Oh dear. If only Yui-san weren’t so beautiful. Then perhaps my troubles would be a little less.

“What is it? Why are you staring?”

“…Nothing.”

Well, it can’t be helped when you fall for someone popular.

I resolved in my heart that someday, I would absolutely make her say she only liked me, and swallowed the last bite of my dinner.