Episode Thirty-Two: Was I a Good Girl?
December arrived, and autumn had slipped past in the blink of an eye — mornings and evenings had turned properly cold now.
I set up a small Christmas tree, bought from a home goods shop, on the living room counter.
Yui-san’s house is tidy and simple, minimal in every way, so even a tiny tree perched there does plenty of work bringing in a sense of the season.
I’d honestly wanted a bigger one, but staying here as a guest, I couldn’t exactly get greedy about it.
“That’s cute. Where’d you get it?”
Yui-san asked, laying out tonight’s main dish on the dining table.
“A home goods shop near my job.”
“Huh, there’s a shop like that around there?”
“Yui-san, do you not usually decorate for Christmas? Trees, wreaths, anything like that?”
“Never have. Is that normal, decorating?”
I don’t know if it’s “normal,” but at the Aozawa house, my mother loved that sort of thing, so we always decorated.
Because of that, I’d just assumed every ordinary household did the same.
“I don’t know about normal. We always did, at home.”
While Yui-san portioned out the soup, I went to the kitchen too and scooped rice into bowls.
Something had been smelling wonderful this whole time, and my stomach kept growling, unstoppable.
“…I did get Santa, actually, up through elementary school.”
Yui-san said it, laughing softly.
“Oh yeah? How long did you believe in him?”
I tried picturing a young Yui-san. She must have been unbearably cute.
“I already knew from the start it was Dad, but I kept quiet about it forever. Then, around fourth grade, I think — I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and ran straight into Dad in the hallway, dressed as Santa.”
“What?!”
“He was the type who commits to the costume, apparently. Even had a fake beard on. I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing.”
I couldn’t help imagining it either, and laughed too. That Doberman-like father of hers, doing something like that.
“Santa never came after that.”
Yui-san’s father really must be a clumsy, but deeply loving person, I think.
But thinking about that only deepens the mystery further. Why did he and Yukiya-san ever end up on such bad terms?
*
I pressed my hands together — itadakimasu — and got dig in back.
Lately, probably because she’s been staying home more, Yui-san’s been cooking dinner more often too.
Everything Yui-san makes is delicious. This time, sitting across the table, talking about our day — it’s become something genuinely precious to me.
I glanced toward the little tree. Christmas is coming soon.
What will Yui-san do? Spend it with family? Or go out drinking, maybe?
This would be the first Christmas since meeting Yui-san. How has she spent this day, all this time before me?
“…Yui-san. What do you usually do for Christmas?”
“Eh? I stay home. Every year.”
“Really? I’d have thought all kinds of girls would be inviting you out…”
“Well, I’d have to pick just one, right? No point getting someone’s hopes up over nothing.”
Fair, I suppose. Spending Christmas together carries a certain weight of its own, and if she has no intention of returning anyone’s feelings, that choice makes sense.
But — hearing her say that made it a little harder to bring up what I wanted to say. That I wanted to spend Christmas with her too.
“Hmm… I see.”
“What about you? Don’t tell me you’re planning a date with Hayakawa-kun.”
Black eyes, watching me steadily from across the table.
I still hadn’t told Yui-san that I’d properly turned Hayakawa-kun down. Mostly because I had zero confidence I could deflect smoothly if she asked why.
“No way. I don’t have any plans.”
I shook my head, side to side, and Yui-san’s face broke into a bright smile.
“Then, since we’re both free, let’s go on a date.”
“A date…?”
Didn’t you just say you don’t spend Christmas with girls, no point getting anyone’s hopes up? Does that mean I’m allowed to hope, then? I swallowed the words back down before they could climb all the way up my throat.
“Let’s go buy Christmas presents. I’ll get you a cute necklace.”
Yui-san said it, smiling bright. Apparently she’d remembered me saying, once, that the necklace she always wears is lovely.
“Then, what do you want, Yui-san?”
If that’s how it’s going, I want to give her a present too. I never managed to give her one for her birthday, so Christmas, at least—
“I don’t need anything.”
Said so easily that it irritated me. Yui-san’s always like this.
Kind, doing anything for me without a second thought, and never expecting anything back from me in return, not even a little.
“…I have a part-time job too, you know. I can afford to get you a present.”
The café I work at pays decently. I’ve been picking up plenty of shifts, and I’ve managed to save a fair amount.
“Spend your paycheck on yourself. You’ve been a good girl all year, Kanata, you’ve earned the right to receive a present.”
“If you’re going to say that, then you too, Yui-san…”
“Was I a good girl? Me?”
“That’s… a little iffy.”
Said honestly, Yui-san burst out laughing. I don’t think Yui-san counts as a “good girl.” If anything, more of a bad one. In every sense of the word.
“Once we’re done shopping, want to grab dinner somewhere before heading home?”
Knowing Yui-san, she’d probably arrange some absurdly expensive hotel dinner without blinking.
Figuring that, I shook my head at the suggestion.
“I want cake at home. And… want to cook dinner together?”
I’ve never really cooked before, always just letting Yui-san handle it, but I want to try making something together, just once.
It’s Christmas, after all, and a party at home sounds fun too.
Hearing that, Yui-san smiled, gentle.
“Sure. I’ll book us a good cake, then. Think about what you want to eat.”
I’m glad we got Christmas settled.
Yui-san says she doesn’t need a present, but I’ll just go ahead and prepare one anyway, without asking.
Even if it’s nothing especially luxurious, I’m sure Yui-san would be happy with whatever I give her.
Sitting right beside the accessory tray, that pale blue bag still sat there, the ribbon still tied around its handle, untouched.
The one Yukiya-san had received on Yui-san’s behalf, from that birthday visit. Some kind of accessory, probably, but she doesn’t look the least bit interested in wearing it, or even opening the box.
Thinking of the feelings of the person who sent it — “Kitagami-san” — I do feel a little sorry for him, but honestly, from the bottom of my heart, I’m relieved the sender was a man.
If it had been a woman, I might not have stood a chance.
“…The person who gave you that present — Kitagami-san, was it?”
I murmured it, staring at the untouched paper bag.
Yukiya-san’s childhood friend, if I remember right — the son of the managing director at her father’s company.
Being Yukiya-san’s childhood friend, does that mean Yui-san’s known him since they were kids too?
Does he like Yui-san? She’s beautiful, and kind — there’s no way she isn’t popular with men too, not just women.
“Does he give you a present every Christmas too?”
I asked it, casual, and Yui-san’s chopsticks went completely still.
“…Why do you ask?”
“Just a feeling, I guess.”
Woman’s intuition might be the more accurate way to put it. Giving someone a luxury jewelry brand present for their birthday isn’t something you do for just anyone.
Which makes it natural to assume he’d do the same for Christmas too.
“Hmm, I wonder, I forget.”
Said so lightly, and Yui-san genuinely seemed completely uninterested in him, which put my mind at ease, and I let out a small, relieved breath.
It shouldn’t matter who likes Yui-san, as long as she has no intention of returning their feelings.
Especially since he’s a man, and, from Yui-san’s perspective, entirely outside the realm of romantic possibility. Not even a rival, really.
He’s from the company — maybe he doesn’t know Yui-san’s gay?
Is that why he keeps approaching her? Finding it a hassle, but unable to turn him down since he’s connected to work?
The more I think about it, the more the mystery deepens.
There’s really nothing here worth worrying about. And yet, “Kitagami-san” wouldn’t stop nagging at me.
“Christmas is going to be fun.”
Across the table, Yui-san smiled, happy.
Being chosen by her, on a special day like this — at the very least, I think I’m allowed to believe I’m her favorite, right now.
I stared at her, smiling so warmly.
Ugh. If only Yui-san weren’t this beautiful. My worries would probably be cut in half.
“What’s wrong, staring like that?”
“…Nothing.”
Can’t be helped, falling for someone this popular.
Someday, without fail, I’ll make her say she only loves me — resolving that firmly in my heart, I swallowed the last bite of dinner.