Episode 49: Rain, Café au Lait, and Putting On a Brave Face
The day before I was set to leave for Silicon Valley.
Friday afternoon, the final day of the OJT period.
Hanamori and I had gone out to make handover greetings to our clients.
“Yamada-shachō, thank you so much for everything over these years.”
“No, Asami-san, thank you. Truly.”
“Hanamori will be taking over full support going forward, so please don’t hesitate to reach out to her for anything.”
Saying goodbye to clients I’d built relationships with since my first year hit me harder than I’d expected.
“Hanamori-san, take good care of them.”
“I’m Hanamori. It’s a pleasure to be working with you.”
Hanamori lifted the corner of her mouth and held out her business card with practiced, professional ease.
Ever since that drinking party, Hanamori had still seemed low-energy. Often staring blankly off into space.
Even so, when it comes to work, she handles it properly. I found myself genuinely impressed — she really is a professional in that regard.
After the last client greeting, we got back in the car. Hanamori didn’t even buckle her seatbelt, just gazed absently out the passenger window.
“Hanamori-san, seatbelt.”
“…Ah, sorry.”
Even her hands, fumbling to buckle it, seemed distracted, somewhere else.
I pulled into the wide lot of a convenience store.
Cutting the engine, the car fell silent all over again.
“Here, for you. Good work today.”
I handed Hanamori the café au lait I’d bought at the convenience store.
“…Thank you.”
“Let’s head back to the office once we finish these.”
“…Okay.”
Kshhh.
The sound of the tab popping open rang out strangely loud in the silent car.
Glug.
Even the sound of my own coffee going down my throat felt unnervingly loud.
Silence.
Awkward. Unbearably awkward.
Hanamori sat with the café au lait cradled in both hands on her lap, looking down.
The car’s been like this lately, this funeral-parlor atmosphere.
Confessing my feelings in an atmosphere this heavy…
And yet today’s the last day.
Pitter-patter…
Raindrops on the windshield, one, then another.
“Ah, rain…”
The sound of rain hitting the car body. Thin at first, but steadily growing more distinct.
“Today’s it, huh. The end.”
Needing to say something, I opened my mouth.
“…Guess so.”
“This year was fun. Surprisingly.”
Hanamori glanced my way, briefly.
“Is that right.”
Then, a faint, unguarded smile rose to her face.
“It was the worst for me, though.”
Hanamori dropped her eyes again, lips pursed slightly. A subtle expression — sulky, or maybe covering embarrassment.
“…I’m actually pretty happy I won’t have to sit in the passenger seat with you driving anymore, Asami-san.”
“Excuse me?”
“Your braking’s always a little sudden, makes me carsick.”
This woman, suddenly picking a fight out of nowhere. Infuriating.
“You’d better not get lost while driving, Hanamori-san.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’ve got no sense of direction, so I’m worried.”
“Wasn’t that time you who took the wrong turn, though?”
I shot back, and Hanamori glared at me, her expression turning sulky.
“…Next year I’ll be the senior for OJT, and get all cozy with some good-looking junior.”
“Sure, sure. Sounds fun.”
“Really. Finally…,”
“Finally getting to end this pairing with you, Asami-san…”
Hanamori kept stringing together taunting words.
But—
“…I’m happy…… about it…….”
Her face dropped. Her voice grew smaller, bit by bit. The words started breaking apart, fragmenting.
A single drop of water fell onto her hand resting on her lap.
—A tear.
The tears didn’t stop, staining her white skirt. One drop, then another.
“Eh…… Hanamori-san?”
At my voice, Hanamori hurriedly turned her face toward the window.
“Hic… uh, …hic.”
Her shoulders shook in small tremors, holding back sobs.
Outside, the rain was picking up. The sound of rain striking the car wrapped around Hanamori’s crying.
“…It’s not that.”
Hanamori sniffled, voice thick with tears.
“I’m crying because I’m so, so happy you’re leaving, Asami-san.”
Turned away, tears traced down her cheek, one line after another. They seemed to overlap with the raindrops streaming down the window glass.
Watching her, my chest clenched tight.
This has to be Hanamori’s stubborn brave face. Holding onto her pride. And still, the tears wouldn’t stop.
Clumsy, unable to be honest.
That was, unbearably, precious to me.
This might be the last chance.
Thinking that, I couldn’t hold back anymore.
Fear of rejection, fear of being hated — none of it mattered anymore.
Before I knew it, I’d pulled Hanamori into my arms.
Tightly.
I wrapped my arm around Hanamori’s slender shoulders and drew her in close from behind.
“Eh……?”
Hanamori’s bewildered voice and breath, warm, rang in my ear.
Our eyes met at point-blank range. Eyes wet with tears. Trembling lips. Those lips, right there.
The next moment.
At a distance where it was barely touching, or not touching at all, our lips met.
Soft, warm. Faintly sweet, tasting of café au lait.
I pressed my lips against hers again, this time a little longer. Pulling back gently, I looked at her; her glossy eyes seemed to have softened even more than before.
My own vision was blurring too. Tears welling up.
Hanamori’s face drew closer. And our lips met again.
A light touch, apart, a light touch again, repeating.
I pulled Hanamori into another tight embrace.
Thud, thud.
My heartbeat rang through my whole body. My own, or Hanamori’s, I couldn’t tell.
“Hanamori-san.”
A trembling voice. I whispered it by her ear.
“…I like you.”
*
Looking into her face, Hanamori’s expression was bewildered. Her eyes trembling.
But then—
The next moment, she smiled softly, and tears spilled from her narrowed eyes.
That smile was unbearably precious.
Our faces drew close again. Neither of us leading.
This kiss was different from before.
Before I knew it, my tongue was tracing along Hanamori’s lips. Hanamori caught a small breath. And, hesitantly, parted her lips.
The instant our tongues touched, a sensation like electricity ran through me.
And then, as if entwining, as if sucking, as if melting into one another, we sought each other out.
The arms holding me tight grew firmer.
Hanamori clutched my blouse. The strength in her fingertips conveyed her feelings to me. Strongly, so strongly. So precious.
Our breathing grew ragged and heated. The air inside the car grew sultry, sweet and thick.
Slowly parting our lips, a thin, transparent thread caught the light faintly. We stared at each other at close range.
Hanamori’s cheeks were flushed, her eyes melted, feverish.
Her lips were wet and glossy, looking faintly swollen from the long kiss.
Then, with a slightly mischievous look, she whispered:
“Asami-san… we’re at work, you know.”
Hanamori said it, breathless. That voice rang through me, erotic, straight to my core. I could feel the heat gathering deep in my own body.
“So are you, Hanamori-san.”
“I’ll report to the department head that you were slacking off. Might get your America trip cancelled.”
“You’re the one who wouldn’t let go, Hanamori-san.”
“You’re the one who kissed me first, Asami-san.”
We traded that kind of banter at point-blank range, laughing softly together.
Our faces drew close, and our lips met again.
Even now, we’re still arguing. This woman really is impudent for a junior coworker.
Infuriating, and that’s exactly what makes her lovable.
Hanamori. Hanamori Chisa. Precious, unbearably precious.
What am I even doing, in the middle of work.
And in the sales car, no less. With a junior coworker.
Guilt, exhilaration, an indescribable happiness, all tangled together.
Through all of it, we kept kissing, again and again. Deeper this time, hungrier. Hanamori’s breath, sweet and aching, rang in my ear.
Outside, at some point, it had turned into a downpour. The rain hammered against the car, blocking out the view of the outside world. Like it was protecting a world that belonged only to us.
How much time had passed.
The hammering rain gradually quieted.
“…Guess we should head back.”
I told Hanamori that, slowly straightening up, and buckled my seatbelt.
I started the engine, faced forward, and pulled the car out.
Hanamori, facing forward, eyes slightly down, murmured quietly.
“Asami-san.”
“Hm?”
“I like you.”
A voice on the verge of disappearing.
…Eh.
I slammed the brakes, hard, before even leaving the convenience store lot.
“Geez, Asami-san, that’s dangerous.”
“Ah, sorry. What did you just say?”
“Huh? You definitely heard me.”
“No, I mean, might’ve been an auditory hallucination. Can you say it one more time?”
“Absolutely not. Come on, hurry up, evening meeting’s about to start.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
When the car stopped at a red light.
I stole a glance at Hanamori’s profile.
Her face was turned away. But her ears were red. Her cheeks seemed to sit a little higher than usual.
My heart raced. My face was hot.
I realized, without meaning to, that the corners of my own mouth had lifted.
—Tomorrow, I leave for Silicon Valley.
I found myself wishing I had a little more time left like this with Hanamori.
But.
Glancing ahead, through the windshield, a faint rainbow arced into view.
My own feelings, right now, were just as clear and bright.