Episode 37
After that, things between Morishita and me went back to normal.
The fragile version of her from that day vanished entirely, and in its place came a Morishita who was slightly more reserved than usual.
Should I have forced her to tell me what was hurting her, even so?
Is there something I can do for her?
“Yudzuki, you can cook, can’t you?”
We were on our way to a lecture hall for the next class, and I asked her mid-walk.
Since becoming third-years, Hinata and I had ended up in different classes, so I found myself moving around with Yudzuki most of the time.
At my question, Yudzuki was unusually flustered.
“What’s brought this on suddenly?”
“Nothing. Just answer the question.”
“It’s not like I’m great at it, but I manage well enough.”
“…Teach me to cook sometime.”
“Excuse me?!”
This was the worst.
Of all people, asking the one person I most wanted to beat to teach me something.
My pride being high enough to make asking Yudzuki for anything genuinely unbelievable, she was standing there with her mouth and eyes wide open. I flicked her on the forehead for it.
“Ow…”
“Well? Will you teach me or not?”
“Answer my question first and I will.”
“Question?”
“What’s your relationship with Mei-chan?”
My heart lurched at that.
Sweat prickled along my back, my vision swimming slightly.
If I told Yudzuki anything about my relationship with Morishita here, there was a chance it might reach her and she’d cut ties with me.
That was the one outcome I couldn’t allow.
“We’re nothing to each other.”
“Strange, then, that you bring someone you’re nothing to home regularly, and spend Christmas with her.”
“How do you even know that…”
“We live close by, so of course I noticed.”
I tried to think of some way to talk my way out of this. Nothing came, and I fell silent.
“Are you and Mei-chan friends?”
Friends…?
Morishita had told me that was the wrong word.
I’d assumed without asking that we were close, but that had been my misreading — Morishita thought of my apartment as little more than a place with manga in it.
I bit my lip, turning it all over, and Yudzuki patted my head lightly a few times.
“Sorry, sorry. There are things you don’t want to say. The cooking, consider it done.”
“…Thank you. And don’t tell anyone about this. Not even Hinata.”
“Understood.”
“Thank you—”
I bowed my head in a small nod of thanks, and Yudzuki went wide-eyed again, staring at me.
But there was no room to worry about that.
Beyond cooking practice, I also had to study.
There was no end to what needed doing.
I felt newly determined.
School ended before I knew it, and on the way home I stopped at a bookshop to look for university entrance exam reference books.
Morishita happened to be in the reference section, and the surprise made me instinctively duck out of sight.
Peering at her from behind a shelf, I saw her usual stern expression had gone even sterner than usual.
Should I go over to her…?
I took a quiet breath, and went to stand beside her.
“Whoa!?”
“Quiet — this is a bookshop.”
“Morishita’s the one being loud.”
She was muttering complaints under her breath.
And then I noticed what she was holding, and something shifted in my chest.
“You’ve been thinking about it.”
The civil service exam pamphlet — the path I’d thought might suit her best.
I hadn’t meant to interfere in her life, just wanted to give her one more option to consider.
“I just thought it might be worth studying for.”
The words came out in a slightly clipped tone.
But in them, I glimpsed a thread of light.
“If you come and live in the same prefecture as me, I’ll cook you lots of good food.”
“Eating your food would kill me eventually.”
“Ahaha. True…”
Nothing I could say to that.
The fault lay entirely with my own lack of skill.
There was nothing I could offer Morishita that would actually be to her benefit.
I had no remarkable talent at anything.
That had always been true, and I’d known it — asking Yudzuki for help now wasn’t going to make me into anything. I’d known that, but having reality thrust in my face so bluntly was suddenly suffocating.
“What are you doing here, Fujishiro?”
“Looking for university entrance exam books.”
I moved past her and searched for what I needed.
Morishita stood beside me with the same difficult expression as before.
She seemed to want to say something, but pressing her on it would be intrusive, so I left it.
“Want to come to mine now and study?”
“Is that alright?”
“Yes. Give me a minute to pick something.”
“Okay.”
Morishita tucked her reference books under her arm and went outside to wait.
I browsed through options, bought what looked useful, and stepped outside — and rain was falling.
I hadn’t brought an umbrella, and my heart sank — and then a thoroughly soaked Morishita appeared.
Why hadn’t she waited somewhere under cover…
“Rain came on suddenly.”
“Yeah. Here, get in.”
“Eh. Morishita, you have an umbrella?”
When I asked, she went oddly quiet for some reason.
She just stood there in silence, opening the umbrella and waiting for me to step under it, so I did, without saying anything.
Had she maybe gone and bought one while waiting for me?
Well, knowing Morishita, that seemed unlikely.
I pressed myself gently against her side. Her clothes were wet and cold against me, but her body underneath was warm, and a lukewarm heat spread into me from the contact.
Morishita really does show her kindness in strange, roundabout ways. It makes me want to lean on it.
“Sharing an umbrella~”
“Yes, yes.”
“Did you maybe buy this umbrella for me?”
“Fujishiro’s self-importance, is there no cure for it? I bought it because I didn’t want to get wet.”
“Sure.”
She’s kind, I think. Obviously.
If she didn’t want to get wet, she didn’t have to let me under the umbrella. And yet here she was, the shoulder sticking out from under the edge of it getting rained on, damp.
I gripped her slender arm tight, and my own heart started thudding in my ears.
I didn’t used to get like this over something so small.
Why does my heart react to Morishita of all people.
I really am fed up with it.
Morishita, unusually, said nothing about me pressing against her.
By the time we reached her building, she was quite wet. I hurried to get a towel and started drying her off, and then noticed her underwear showing through the wet fabric and quickly scolded my own eyes for looking, and handed her some house clothes.
“Thanks for the clothes.”
“It’s nothing. Shall we study?”
“Yeah.”
I turned to my books to hide the heat rising in my face.
Morishita spread out the reference books she’d bought too.
It seemed she really had taken an interest in the civil service exam.
“Fujishiro… which university are you going to?”
“Me?”
“Yeah…”
Morishita taking an interest in me was a rare thing.
This felt like something I could use to my advantage.
Her birthday was coming up soon.
She’d given me a birthday present, so I needed to return the favour.
But I had no idea what she’d actually want, and it was becoming a problem.
“Tell me something you want right now, and I’ll tell you which university.”
“There’s nothing I want.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Morishita turned away and started studying.
Well, there was never any chance she’d tell me something about herself.
Getting to know Morishita was harder than any exam question. I wanted to know even a little more about her, and kept hitting dead ends.
“Tell me anything about yourself.”
“Then — this Saturday, I’ll be at the shrine. Waiting.”
“What?”
“If you don’t want to, forget it.”
“I want to!”
For some reason, Morishita was offering to meet me this Saturday.
She’d never once said anything like that before.
The only time I got to see her was weekday evenings like this.
An opportunity like this didn’t come along often.
I thought: a chance to know more about her.
I worked desperately hard at looking like I was studying, trying not to let her see how pleased I was.