Episode Four: Farce ―September 2032―
‘Regarding purchasing tableware, any Sunday would be fine. I’ll accommodate Uehara-san, so please specify a date and time that suits you.’
I’d been ignoring the teacher’s message for ages. Every time I looked at the chat screen, a different kind of pain in my chest made me feel sick.
Two weeks had passed since I’d been ordered to get back together with Wataru and avoid speaking to the teacher.
The only reason I hadn’t broken the order was that the teacher hadn’t spoken to me.
To the teacher, I was just one of many students after all. She probably didn’t think anything of days going by without speaking to me.
Even though I knew it all along, I found myself surprisingly depressed.
The chance to go dish shopping together was probably lost forever. The thought that someone else, not me, would one day choose dishes for the teacher’s home made my eyes sting unbearably.
“The author’s feelings at that moment are encapsulated in this waka.”
Every time the teacher entered the classroom for lessons, I found myself staring intently.
The same plain attire, the same matter-of-fact tone. While over half the class paid no serious attention during lessons, I alone listened earnestly every time, determined not to miss a single word.
It was fortunate that Wataru was in a different class. The only time I could be with the teacher was during lessons, when I could escape his watchful eye.
“Heian-period nobles would present waka poems to convey their feelings to the object of their affection. It might be a sensation incomprehensible to you smartphone generation, but even a simple confession required time, effort, and knowledge of waka poetry.”
No, the teacher is part of the smartphone generation too, I retorted silently.
Celebrity couples with age gaps of thirty years are commonplace, let alone ten… So why does the seven-year gap between me and the teacher feel so immense?
The teacher standing at the lectern, and me sitting to receive the lesson.
Between us, facing each other across that distance, an invisible boundary line is drawn.
It’s a complex line, tangled with various elements: our positions as teacher and pupil, the age gap, the fact we’re both women…
Faced with that thing, which only grows more troublesome the greater the divide, I froze.
Had I been more straightforward, acting purely on my feelings from the start, would things have been different?
But no matter what I think now, it’s all too late. I was tripped up by Wataru, preoccupied as I was with that line.
Listening to the teacher’s voice, I buried my face in my desk.
Sorry for my poor attitude in class, teacher.
But please forgive me. I don’t want you to see me looking like I’m about to cry.
☆
“Hey, Meisa. Can’t you come out to play again today?”
After school, Suzuka, sitting in the seat in front of me, asked with a pout.
“Yeah, sorry. I’m on a date with Wataru.”
The word “date” I’d just uttered made me feel sick.
For the past two weeks, ever since getting back together with Wataru, I’d had to spend every free moment after school with him whenever I wasn’t working.
Like filling in the outer moat, Wataru had been telling everyone he’d got back together with me. I hoped it wouldn’t reach the teacher’s ears, but knowing Wataru, he’d probably tell the teacher himself.
“Since getting back together with Wataru, Meisa’s been such a pain to hang out with. Ugh!”
“It’s just the honeymoon phase. Give it a bit more time, and Wataru’s clinginess will ease off, won’t it?”
As promised, Suzuka refrained from interfering with my feelings or actions towards my teacher. Even upon hearing we’d reconciled, she merely widened her eyes and said nothing.
Her response was a huge relief. If Ryōka had meddled about the teacher, I feared my heart would have been torn to shreds, and I wouldn’t have been able to maintain our usual relationship.
“You know what? Meisa’s changed too. She wasn’t the type to prioritise her boyfriend like that before.”
I offered a light apology, “Sorry”, to Ryōka, who was pouting, desperately suppressing my true feelings.
Truthfully, I wanted to tell her. About the teacher. About being threatened. But could Ryoka, with her strong sense of justice, really stay silent? What if she went straight to Kō to confront him? What if Kō flew into a rage? …What would happen to the teacher?
It’s not that I don’t trust Ryoka. Precisely because I trust her to be a good person, there are things I can’t tell her.
“Hey, let’s go on a trip together sometime. We can plan it tomorrow.”
“Definitely? I’ll choose Meisa over Sōma-kun’s invitation, you know!”
Seeing Ryōka say she’d prioritise playing with me in that spoiled voice, I genuinely thought she was adorable. Fuwa probably intends to cherish Ryōka, including this side of her.
…Still, I couldn’t tell Ryōka. I didn’t want to show Ryōka, who was experiencing such a wonderful romance, this twisted way of being lovers.
“I’ll be off soon. Fuwa, you’re late picking me up, aren’t you?”
“It’s not a date today. I’ll be heading back soon myself.”
“Hmm, that’s unusual. See you later then.”
She waved flutteringly and left the classroom. Kō probably wants to show his friends that our relationship is going smoothly, because he insists on meeting me at the classroom for our after-school dates.
It’s ridiculous. How much longer must I put up with this charade?