Episode Six

“I’m home.”

The uncertain words fell into the dark hallway. The familiar brown loafers were by the door, and light was leaking from under the living room door. Rushing back had been the right call.

“Welcome home.”

Ao’s face appeared around the living room door. The button on her shirt was undone one more than it had been at school, and I pulled my gaze away before it could drift.

“Sorry, student council ran a bit late.”

“Can I start on dinner?”

I fought to keep my voice steady. I needed to get used to this. If I kept reacting like this, I’d hit a wall somewhere. I set my backpack down at the entrance to the living room and folded up my sleeves.

“It’s fine. But maybe rest a little first?”

“I’ll help with dinner too.”

“Okay?” With a soft smile, Ao reached out and took my hand just as I was heading for the kitchen.

The cold touch of her hand made my whole body flinch. It wasn’t as though being touched by a classmate was anything unusual. Fuuka and I did things like that all the time without thinking.

But.

“Um, yeah. I’m fine to skip the rest, really.”

“I’ll take you up on the help.”

I couldn’t find the courage to meet her eyes. I looked somewhere around her shoulder and pulled the corners of my mouth up as best I could.

When I got to the kitchen ahead of her, the first thing I noticed was my lunchbox, already washed and sitting on the rack.

I’d never imagined she’d be the kind of person not to eat a packed lunch that had been made for her — but seeing it there, empty and clean, my face relaxed before I could stop it.

“I’ll wash Onee-chan’s lunchbox. Go put your bag in your room.”

Ao picked up my lunchbox where it had been left carelessly on the side.

“No, I can at least do my own—”

“You’re too considerate. You’ll wear yourself out like that.”

She said it lightly, nudged me aside from the sink, and squeezed washing-up liquid onto the sponge.

“…Thank you.”

I murmured it quietly and headed upstairs with my bag.

I leaned against the closed door and took several slow, deep breaths. This was just the adjustment period. I’d get used to it soon. And besides — if I kept reacting like this, Ao might notice something eventually. That was the one thing I couldn’t let happen.

I gave my cheek a brisk pat to switch gears, left my room, and came slowly down the stairs. Ao was waiting on the other side of this door. The house was always mine alone — and now it wasn’t. My chest was doing something irritating and unasked for, and I pushed the door open quietly.

I could see Ao studying the row of condiments in the kitchen. I slipped past her and opened the fridge.

“Sorry, I should have asked sooner — is there anything you can’t eat?”

“Not really. Celery, maybe.”

She wrinkled her lovely face as she said it, and I nearly laughed out loud.

“I might understand that.”

I lined up the ingredients I’d already planned on the way home and got out the frying pan and a deep-bottomed pot.

“What can I do to help?”

“Hmm. Could you slice the mushrooms?”

“On it!”

She answered with inexplicable enthusiasm, and I smiled despite myself as I turned the heat on under the pot of water.

The warm, savoury smell of beef spread through the kitchen, which had plenty of room for two. Ao wasn’t much of a cook, it turned out. I’d always imagined her as the sort of person who was effortlessly good at everything — so finding a gap was quietly pleasing. Watching her bring the knife down on the mushrooms with rather more caution than confidence was a little nerve-wracking, but very endearing.

Pasta cooked, everything tossed together, seasoning done. A dish I’d been making since primary school, but I was glad I could still make it properly with Ao standing beside me. I carried the pasta and the retort-pack soup to the table in the living room and sat down. My stomach gave an audible growl. I glanced sideways at Ao and found her staring at her plate with an expression that suggested she was only just keeping herself together.

“Let’s eat.”

We’d both been hungry, it seemed. Conversation was quiet at first, and we each took our first bite.

Same as always. Not better than usual, not worse. Just what my cooking tastes like.

Ao, though. I wasn’t sure.

I’d made a reasonable amount of food over the years, but it had always been just me and Dad, so I’d never thought much about whether it was actually good.

“How is it…?”

I glanced over at her carefully.

She finished what was in her mouth first, paused a beat, then leaned across the table at me with full energy.

“It’s so good! Seriously!”

“You can just whip something this delicious together like it’s nothing — Onee-chan, you’re incredible.”

“Incredible…”

Oh no.

If I let my guard down I might actually pass out. I was so happy I could almost cry.

I watched her work through her pasta with total focus, not pausing for elegance.

“You’re not eating?”

Ao looked up at me, puzzled.

“I am. I’m just glad you like it.”

I gave her a quiet smile and picked up my fork.

For now, at least, maybe I was managing to look like a proper older sister.

“The bento was amazing too. You’re really good at cooking.”

“I’ve just been doing it a long time. I don’t have much range, and I can’t do anything fancy.”

I laughed, a little self-deprecating.

“That’s not true at all. You seem like you have pretty low self-esteem, Onee-chan.”

“You’ll see what I mean soon enough. Everything I make is some shade of brown.”

Two people’s laughter filled a living room that usually only held one. This was Ao’s and my first real time alone together, but maybe we’d manage all right. Last night I’d been rattling my fork against the dishes with shaking hands. Tonight I’d eaten reasonably well, all things considered.

“Onee-chan, do you have plans tomorrow?”

Ao had finished the washing-up and was calling over to me where I’d sunk into the sofa. I turned to answer, and she immediately dropped down right beside me and leaned her shoulder against mine.

Close close close close close.

Her bare knee brushed mine and I nearly made a terrible noise. I tried to stand up on reflex, but an arm had settled around my waist and held me there — or at least, it felt that way.

“Just studying, probably…”

Was this just normal for sisters? The sound of the sofa fabric against skin felt unreasonably loud.

“Ha. Of course.”

“Would you come shopping with me? Just for the afternoon.”

Ao looked into my face as she continued.

“I’ve just moved in and there’s so much I’m missing. I don’t really know this area yet either. I was hoping you’d show me around.”

“Is that okay?”

Of course it is.

“I— yeah, let’s go.”

“Okay… it’s fine. It’s fine, it’s fine…”

“What’s that about? You’re adorable, Onee-chan.”

“…Please stop.”

After that we stayed side by side for a while, passing the time in easy, aimless conversation. I have no idea how coherent I actually was.

I watched Ao disappear off to the bath, then stared blankly at the television. The same programme that had been on when she was here was still playing, and none of it was going in.

Just the two of us going shopping tomorrow, without Dad and Shiho-san.

Going shopping alone together with the person I liked. Was it all right to call this a date?

My fingers tightened around the cushion.

A sister and her stepsister going shopping. That’s what this was, so obviously it wasn’t a date.

Ao was perceptive, and this was probably her way of narrowing the distance between us. Getting carried away with a misreading like that was embarrassing enough to make me want to disappear. I knew all of that perfectly well, and apparently the human brain couldn’t switch off that easily, because my face had stayed warm the whole time.

When she got out of the bath I needed to decide what to wear tomorrow, straight away. I didn’t want Ao thinking her sister had no sense of style. If possible, I wanted her to think I looked — nice.

I let myself fall sideways on the sofa and felt a faint warmth against my cheek. From where Ao had been sitting, probably. My fringe fell over my eyes and I closed them against the annoyance of it.

One day had passed since Ao and Shiho-san came. I still couldn’t quite read where Ao and I stood. Could we really be called sisters? In terms of the family register, with Dad and Shiho-san married, I supposed we were.

Until yesterday we’d been nothing but classmates, and being told overnight to be sisters wasn’t something I could simply accept. Ao called me Onee-chan — but what did she actually feel?

What happened in my room last night, and what just happened on the sofa. Maybe those moments only felt strange to me because I was carrying something I shouldn’t be, and to Ao they were perfectly natural. If we were going to be spending every day together from now on, and every little thing sent me into this kind of state—

My thoughts drifted this way and that, refusing to settle. When I gave up trying to organise them, my consciousness faded like sinking slowly into deep water.

The warmth cradling my head was pleasant enough that I drifted off without noticing. When a voice pulled me back, I turned toward it and found Ao’s face, faintly flushed from the bath.

“—!”

I was fully awake in an instant. The drowsiness that had been with me all evening was gone.

“Morning, Onee-chan. Sleep a bit more?”

“No… I’m fine.”

I looked away as I answered.

Damp hair, a simple T-shirt, short-hemmed pyjama trousers. Ao fresh from the bath looked far more unguarded than she ever did in her uniform. I shoved the feeling that was threatening to well up back down somewhere inside me and made my escape to fetch a change of clothes.

A bath would calm me down. I could sort through my thoughts properly then. I’d spent my whole life studying — thinking things through was supposed to be something I was better at than most people.