Episode 10
“Sorry. I’m all right now.”
Twenty-four years old, and I cried like a child.
Honestly, I think what she said doesn’t quite hold together. Once you’ve boarded the next dream, it’s already a different dream — it’s no longer the one you had.
But. Even if it doesn’t hold together — the fact that she sat with me through something so incoherent, and stayed close — that made me happy.
Takemi Hiito is fundamentally, irredeemably complicated, so I probably won’t stop avoiding colour anytime soon.
Even so.
Maybe just a little — it would be all right to let some of it in. I found I could think that.
“Going out… as in, a relationship — I’m sorry, I can’t. I don’t know you nearly well enough yet, and I think I need a little more time.”
But. One breath. The sound coming from my chest is loud.
“If you’d be willing to keep spending time with me a little longer — I’d be glad.”
A drop spills from those large eyes.
“I’m glad — I’m so glad, senpai.”
She turned her back to me, hugging her knees as if to hide her crying face. I watched that back in silence.
Why me, of all people. I still didn’t have the answer.
When she’d finally settled, she turned back around and said, with a smile full to bursting:
“I love you so much, Hiito-senpai. And I mean it — the real kind!”
Her warm body wrapped around my chilled one. Maybe something really would change, if I stayed close to her.
◇
“Call me Seriha. Ichikawa-san is boring.”
We leaned back against the bed, the two of us passing the time unhurriedly.
“Well — I suppose that’s fine…”
Her name, hmm. I’ve always called Tsumugi by her name, yet somehow this feels different — oddly shy-making.
I glanced sideways at her to find her turned toward me, rocking slightly with barely contained impatience.
Those expectant eyes are almost blinding. Being looked at that intently makes me nervous…
“S-Seriha…”
“Senpaaai!!”
The impact of her embrace sends me swaying. She seemed pleased. Good.
“I’m so happy right now. The happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life!”
“…Is that so.”
How will I face her going forward, I wonder.
Going out — whatever that means — I still didn’t really understand. Whether I liked her or not, I didn’t know either.
Oh, and. A murmur, and she turned toward me again.
“Senpai.”
“I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble. I really do feel terrible about it.”
What’s brought this on now. I thought we’d already dealt with that.
But, she said — one breath.
A register I hadn’t heard from her recently. Something in my head, or my chest — somewhere — sounded an alarm.
“I worked really hard this time, don’t you think? I did cause trouble, but I think I helped senpai a lot.”
The memory of that night drifts through my mind, along with a faint sweet scent.
“I held back for so long. Because senpai seemed like she might break, and might stop talking to me altogether — so I held back the whole time.”
“Won’t you give me a reward?”
Her slender fingers trail slowly across my neck. Right to left. Left to right. Moving back and forth as if committing the sensation to memory.
The bright and cheerful Seriha who’d been right here a moment ago seemed to have gone somewhere.
The touching mood we’d had — completely ruined.
“…S-stop… just — stop for a second…”
“…All right.”
Obedient to my trembling voice — fingers still resting at my neck, those heat-filled eyes looking at me.
I said stop — but I hadn’t wanted her to stop there.
“Won’t you give me a reward?”
A second request.
“N-no.”
“After everything I did for you?”
It was true — she’d helped me enormously. If she hadn’t come when she did, I’d probably be in a hospital bed right now.
What she was saying wasn’t wrong.
It was just — this wasn’t quite the kind of reward I’d ever heard of.
A light push at my shoulder and my back meets the pale yellow rug.
The closer her body comes, the stronger the sweet scent grows. The warmth of her above me passes into me, and with nothing left to hear but her breathing and mine, everything else seems to have been left far behind somewhere.
Looked down at by those alluring eyes, my body goes rigid and my breathing goes shallow.
I wanted to pull free — but my small frame was no match for Seriha at all.
“W-wait—!”
“I’ll stop if you say stop. I promise. Absolutely.”
Stop. Stop. Stop.
I needed to say something — anything — out loud. But my voice wouldn’t come.
Didn’t come — or didn’t let it come. Which was correct?
A faint sting at my neck. Twice. Three times.
“—!”
I couldn’t breathe properly. In the quiet room, nothing but my shallow breath and the sound of her against me.
As if checking that a mark had been left, warm moisture traced over my neck again and again. The hand I had pressed to her shoulder trembled slightly each time, and a faint, worn sound escaped me.
“Thank you for the meal, senpai.”
Eyes half-lidded when I looked up. She ran her tongue lightly along the corner of her lips, and my body went rigid all over again. The shallow breathing still hadn’t settled.
“It’ll fade in a few days, so don’t worry.”
“Once it does — I’ll put another one.”