Episode Three: Coffee and Rooibos Tea —December 2032—

…I see. It wasn’t just that I was slow on the uptake. It was because pregnancy was an event I’d never anticipated in my life, something I simply couldn’t have imagined.

“Rio? What’s wrong?”

“Ah, no. Sorry. I was just startled.”

“Could it be… you’re shocked?”

　Hisako-san wore her teasing expression. She was confident in how much I adored her.

But even after eight years, she still hadn’t realised those feelings were romantic. Partly because I hid them desperately, I suppose, but I thought the fundamental reason was the same as why I hadn’t noticed her pregnancy.

For Hisako-san, who simply didn’t consider “romantic love between women” in her thinking, she’d probably never realise my feelings unless I confessed.

“…Goodness me. I’m rather flabbergasted at my own utter cluelessness.”

“Hehe, your lack of awareness isn’t exactly a recent development, is it?”

Hisako-san, who’d ordered rooibos tea, chuckled softly. Even though I’d just been starkly reminded of the hopeless gulf between us, strangely, I wasn’t feeling down at all.

　When the teacher told me, “I’m getting married and moving to Nagasaki at the end of the year,” I was so shocked, so sad, so utterly lost I completely fell apart.

Had that marriage announcement somehow toughened me up? …No, that can’t be it.

　—Sensei. I…

Uehara-san’s face floated into my mind. I could hear her voice. As if overwriting the feelings I’d so desperately longed for Hishako-sensei.

Being able to look at Sensei’s face so calmly now must surely be thanks to Uehara-san. I surmised it was because within my heart, the proportion of important people had shifted: Hisako-sensei’s share had diminished while Uehara-san’s had increased.

　…No, absolutely not that I’m thinking of Uehara-san as a replacement for Hisako-san!

After making this private defence within my chest, I bowed deeply in a seated position, directly facing Hisako-san.

“Hisako-san. Congratulations on your pregnancy, truly.”

“Thank you. To receive Rio’s congratulations… I never imagined such a happy day would come.”

“That’s an exaggeration. There’s surely so much more happiness awaiting you, Sensei. …No, I’ve heard that since one mustn’t let one’s guard down until the baby is safely born, it’s not good for those around you to make too much fuss during the pregnancy itself. …So then, what exactly is the right thing for me to say right now?”

“Serious, are you?! It’s fine, just empty your mind and say ‘Congratulations’!”

Professor Hishako was smiling. Then, turning that smile I adored towards her belly, she said, “We’ll probably find out the sex at the next check-up.”

The rooibos tea Hisako-san had ordered arrived, and we made a small toast.

May the baby be born healthy. May you be safe too, Hisako-san.

Ignoring the atmosphere, I sipped my caffeine-laden coffee – something a pregnant woman shouldn’t drink – and recalled a little of the past.

　Eight years ago. When I was still in my first year of high school and hadn’t yet discovered coffee.

　　　　　　　　　　◆

From a young age, I never quite understood this thing called love.

I watched my classmates buzzing about the popular boy they thought was cool, or getting excited over their boyfriends’ romantic tales, as if observing a drama from another world, glancing at them out of the corner of my eye.

　I say ‘watching from the corner of my eye’ because, ever since I was old enough to understand, I never had anyone I could call a friend.

Perhaps because I was raised by education-focused parents, I was always good at studying. But I was a child incapable of reading the room or telling lies. Being avoided was the best outcome; sometimes I became the target of bullying.

　Fortunately, however, I wasn’t the type to let such harassment bother me. I’d simply scratch my head, wondering, “What possible benefit could they gain from being mean to me?”

Eventually, the bullies lost interest in me, and I became truly isolated. It seemed I was simply not the type to feel much loneliness when alone. Perhaps I could easily imagine myself unable to join in conversations, or perhaps I disliked making others feel uncomfortable around me.

　So I was always alone. I loved books, so I spent my breaks with them.

With no friends, and no interaction with others to begin with, romance was an emotion I had no connection to. My body grew up without me ever understanding what it felt like to like someone.

—Until my first year of high school, when Hisako-san became my form teacher.