Episode 141: How to Resolve Jealousy

“I’m going to stay over at Ranka’s tomorrow.”
“That’s fine, but…”

Endo-san, fresh out of the bath, drew close. A pleasant shampoo scent drifted from her fluffy, swaying hair. But in contrast to that gentle scent, her face was wearing a very intense expression.

“But…?”
“Sleep in my room with me tonight.”
“…Alright.”

The usual bright, gentle atmosphere had gone somewhere — a slightly cold air hung about her — and I found myself accepting her demand without resistance.

Endo-san wouldn’t let go of my arm, and I was whisked to her bed in no time.

I’d slept like this with her many times, so there was nothing strange about it — I lay down telling myself that.

But tonight’s Endo-san was off in some way, leaning her body over mine as I lay down.

She looked at me with a slightly pained expression.

Endo-san gently traced along my neck, and where her fingers passed I felt a rush of blood pulsing through me.
A lovely scent rose from both the covers and the girl leaning over me, drifting all the way to my temples.

“Can I put one on?”
“One what?”
“You know what.”

Endo-san brought her face close to my neck — and not understanding, I pushed her shoulder back to put some distance between us.

“What are you doing…”
“Sora is my girlfriend, isn’t she?”

My name came out of nowhere and my heart nearly popped loose. Endo-san’s expression had been intense from the start — the smiling girl I knew was nowhere to be seen.

I tried to think of some way to stop her like this.

“Endo-san, you’re acting strange.”
“I don’t care if I’m strange — let me put one on.”
“No…”

When I said that, her face went a little forlorn, and she flopped down beside me. The way she collapsed was like a puppy whose energy had given out.

When she did that, it made me feel like I was the one in the wrong.

From where she lay, Endo-san had been touching around my head. She stared at me with a straight face, stroking my cheek, then my hair, going back and forth.

Still, I thought something was off about her today.

“Endo-san, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”
“You won’t get angry no matter what I say?”
“I… guess…?”
“I’m jealous of Yamamoto-san.”
“What?”

The girl lying beside me said this with cheeks slightly puffed. I didn’t quite understand what about Ranka she was jealous of.

“Jealous of what?”
“Because my time with you will decrease.”
“That’s all…?”
“Yeah——”

She looked a little pained. Seeing that face, I regretted the words I’d just said.

What felt like that’s all to me was probably something important to Endo-san.

Her expression stayed serious the whole time.

I probably loved every expression on Endo-san’s face — but her smile was my favourite.

A way to make Endo-san smile…

“Will you feel better if I let you put one on?”
“Yeah.”
“…As long as it’s somewhere that won’t show.”

My pounding heart had apparently migrated to my head. I found myself unable to look at Endo-san. So I didn’t see what expression she was making — but I could tell that two buttons on my clothes had been undone.

Suddenly anxious, I pulled my clothes closed. Endo-san looked at me with a dissatisfied expression.

“You said it was okay.”
“It’s embarrassing.”
“Then I’ll turn off the light.”

Without my agreeing to anything, Endo-san turned off the room light and came back. That only made the atmosphere stranger, and I regretted how things had come to this a little.

Endo-san immediately came back to bed and pressed herself against me. The hand I’d been holding my clothes with was effortlessly pushed aside.

I felt warm air near my collarbone, and then before long a soft sensation began.

A small sound came from around my collarbone, and my face grew flushed — I could have used a cold towel right about then.

That time — long and short all at once — ended quickly, and Endo-san was gazing at my neck.

“Is that enough?”
“Yeah…”

She still looked somehow unsatisfied.

Not knowing what to do, I drew her head gently toward me and kept stroking it.

After a little while she wriggled and slipped out of my arms, and before I knew it was looking at me with a happy expression.

“I love having Takisawa stroke my head.”
“Sure, sure.”

As I kept stroking her head, she started breathing softly and steadily, and Endo-san fell asleep before me.

Lately Endo-san tells me what she’s thinking properly, and there are fewer moments of her looking like she’s holding something back.

Something about that feels like something very wonderful to me.

Where did the girl who was always pushing herself go — I thought, seeing how clearly her emotions showed now, and feeling a quiet relief.

Even so, sometimes she still makes a difficult face — so maybe I’m still doing things that cause her pain.

I wish I could understand everything — but Endo-san doesn’t put everything into words, and apparently I’m not superhuman enough to understand what she doesn’t say.

And yet I found myself wishing that someday I could become someone who notices even the smallest changes in her that no one else would catch.

For that, I won’t be taking my eyes off Endo-san from here on.

As I felt her supple hair between my fingers, I had apparently drifted into a dream without noticing.