Episode 21

I had slept very soundly. When I opened my eyes and looked at the clock on the wall, it was ten in the morning.

Nanoha was in my arms.

The sight was so funny and strange that no words came.

She was sleeping so comfortably that waking her felt cruel, so I closed my eyes again.

Sleeping with someone is such a strange feeling…

Last time we shared a bed, it had felt like a wall of glass between us.

Today there was nothing in the way.

The loneliness and pain I’d been carrying yesterday had vanished so completely it felt like a lie. In their place was something soft and floating that wrapped around me from all sides.

Yesterday Nanoha had backed me into a corner with her scheming, and this was the result.
She’s good at finding a person’s weak spots and using them.
The fact that I keep showing her my weak spots is my own problem, but still.

After a while, Nanoha opened her eyes.

She rubbed her half-open sleepy eyes, yawned, and then settled into a soft, easy expression and pressed herself toward me.

“Morishita, good morning.”
“Don’t cling to me. Get off.”

The night was over.
The time for filling each other’s loneliness was supposed to be finished.

“Meanie.”

She said it but moved away, though she made no attempt to get out of the bed. I didn’t want to get out either, it was too cold, and I was thinking she should go first.

My house clothes had Nanoha’s smell all over them from every direction, which was a strange sensation.

“Hey, Morishita.”
“What.”
“Merry Christmas!”

The girl lying in front of me said it with a little flourish.

The words produced an unpleasant feeling in me.
But right behind the unpleasantness came something else, a warmth spreading through my chest.

She really is an annoying person.

Still, those words were something even my mother had almost never said to me, and I found myself falling into a strange, disoriented feeling.

“I don’t really understand Christmas. Is it a necessary event?”
“Why do you think that?”
“I’ve never woken up to presents, and for me it’s no different from any other day.”
“With a beautiful girl right in front of you, isn’t that the best Christmas present?”
“The most unwanted present imaginable.”

I brushed off her line without thinking about it, but Nanoha was beaming.

“Well, jokes aside, do you want to do a present exchange like friends? Let’s go shopping together.”
“No. You’re not my friend.”

But then, what is Nanoha to me? I’d said it myself and I didn’t know what I meant by it. Although Nanoha had said like friends, which meant she probably didn’t think of me as a friend either.

Nanoha, the star student from the class next door.
Someone who lent me manga and helped me study, who happened to be useful to me.

“What kind of person am I to Morishita?”
“The person who lends me manga.”
“Am I a manga café?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
“That’s awful!”

We were going back and forth like that when my stomach apparently decided it had had enough and announced itself with a long, gurgling sound. Mortified, I checked Nanoha’s expression.

“Come on, let’s go out today. Just the two of us.”
“No. I said I’m not doing a present exchange.”
“Not presents, just normal shopping. Come with me.”
“Why.”
“Hmm, Morishita can be my bag carrier?”
“No.”

I had no reason to carry her bags. I decided to get ready to leave before she could steamroll me.

When I moved to get out of the bed, Nanoha looked thoroughly put out.

“Today after shopping I’m going to study this afternoon. Yesterday you promised to keep watch over me.”
“I didn’t.”
“You’re going to lie to me?”
“Ugh…”

A pained sound escaped me before I could stop it.

It was true I’d made that strange promise with her. If I denied it now that would become another weak spot she could use against me, so I was stuck deliberating.

But no matter how I thought about it, I had no reason to go out with her.

I pushed Nanoha aside and got out of the bed. I pulled on my outer layer and reached for the front door.

“Hey, Morishita. I’ll be waiting at the usual place, so come, okay?”
“I’m not coming.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
“Don’t wait.”

I yanked the door open and ran out of her apartment.

The street I had found so lonely yesterday was bright in the daylight, and my mood had lifted considerably. When I got home, my room was exactly as I’d left it when I’d rushed out the night before.

“Haah…”

Cold.
Inside the house and somehow still cold.
Outside would be colder, though.

That idiot was probably genuinely waiting at the shrine.
Clever and an idiot at the same time.

“Haaaaah…!”

She really is annoying and a pain in the neck.

Nanoha invades my life far too much.
I needed to go and tell her off properly, or I wouldn’t feel settled.

Just going to tell her off. That’s all.
That’s what I told myself, and I started getting ready.

I opened my wardrobe for the first time in a while, and there were almost no proper casual clothes inside.

I lined up dresses and long skirts I wasn’t sure I could even still wear, and stood there weighing them up.

Mei-chan takes after her dad, cute styles don’t suit you, stop dressing like that.

Right.
Clothes like that don’t suit me.

I reached to the back and pulled out jeans and a hoodie, and put those on instead.

I trudged the road to the shrine, climbed the slope, and arrived at the spot, only to find, to my genuine surprise, a girl in white already there, praying at the shrine.

We’d met here a number of times, but I didn’t think I’d ever seen Nanoha praying before.

She turned, spinning the long skirt around her, and faced me.

“Oh! You came!”

Nanoha came hurrying over, and in her casual clothes she looked somehow older than usual. Her hair was different too, I noticed.

“Stop waiting for me without asking. It’s a nuisance. I only came to tell you off. Then I’m going home.”
“Is that really all you came for? You’re not going to watch over my studying?”

Her craftiness made me feel worn out.
I’d said it myself, but she was using me exactly as she liked.

From now on, I decided, I would have to choose my words with extreme care around her.

“I came to make sure you’re studying. I don’t want to be blamed for your grades dropping again.”
“Heh. I’m counting on you then.”

Without my having agreed to anything, she took my hand and set off ahead.

Walking in front of me at a brisk pace, her whole atmosphere was quite different from usual.

Her hair fell in soft, loose curls, and I was curious about it, so I reached out and touched it gently.

“What?!”
“I thought it looked different.”

I pulled at a strand and it stretched straight, then when I let go it sprang back into its curve.

“Which do you like better, Morishita, this or the usual?”

The way she asked it, tentative and almost nervous, made me frown at her.

“Either is fine, isn’t it.”
“Morishita, you idiot.”
“Idiot?!”

Nanoha walked briskly ahead.
I followed along behind her.

“Is that how you always dress when you’re not in uniform, Morishita?”
“More or less, yeah.”

Whether what I was wearing right now was what I wanted to wear, honestly no. But whether I had clothes I actually wanted to wear, I wasn’t sure about that either.

We walked a little further and the wind turned cold, so I pushed both hands into my pockets and walked on ahead.

Past the residential streets and out into the part of town lined with department stores and shopping centres.

When I go out with Ran, we usually end up at a sports goods store. Nanoha, by contrast, kept stopping at clothes shops. She kept asking “does this suit me?” about everything, which I found tedious, so I half-listened and let it wash over me.

“Morishita, you’re not listening to me at all. You’ll end up with no friends, behaving like that.”
“I don’t mind not having friends.”
“Oh, oh! This one would suit Morishita.”

Ignoring what I’d said entirely, she held up a floral-print dress and tried to hold it up against me. I stopped her hand.

Mei-chan, that sort of thing doesn’t suit you.

Right.
Plain and simple is fine for me.

My grip on her arm must have been stronger than I’d realised, because Nanoha’s brow creased.

“This kind of thing doesn’t suit me…”
“Does it not? I think Morishita’s really cute, so I’d think something like a dress would work.”

Nanoha reached out and put her hand to my cheek without asking, smiled, and looked genuinely pleased about something.

Being looked at like that made my face go hot all at once, and I shoved her away and put distance between us.

“It doesn’t suit me.”
“I think it does. Well, wear whatever you like, I suppose.”

She said it matter-of-factly and went back to looking at other clothes.

Morishita’s really cute.

Nanoha’s words from a moment ago wouldn’t leave my head.

She probably says that to everyone.
Nanoha’s social niceties.
That’s what I told myself, and I walked on with my eyes down.

When she’d apparently finished acquiring what she’d come for, a satisfied-looking Nanoha said “let’s head back.” I let her lead me out of the shopping centre.

As I’d suspected, I had genuinely been brought along as a bag carrier. I was handed all her everyday purchases and the clothes she’d bought to carry home.
On the way back, Nanoha’s expression was bright, but she was quiet.
The moment we reached her apartment, she started doing something strange.

She took everything I was holding out of my hands and set it on the floor. Then she placed a small plastic bag into my now-empty hands.

“This is for you.”
“What is this.”

A bad feeling came over me, and I felt my brow tighten. I’d said I didn’t want one so clearly just now, and she hadn’t listened to me at all.

“Open it.”
“I said I didn’t want one.”
“It’s not a Christmas present.”
“Then what is it?”

My brow was still furrowed, and my head filled up with question marks. She looked at my face and laughed.

“Just open it.”

I looked inside the bag.
There were two hand-shaped things inside. Navy blue, understated, with a small floral accent.

“So it is a pres…”
“It’s in return for the fried chicken.”
“What?”

She cut off what I was going to say and then said something that made no sense.

“The amounts are completely different.”
“Morishita, it’s not about the amount.”
“Excuse me?”

Nanoha today was more incomprehensible than ever. While I was standing there bewildered, she smiled again.

“Yesterday eating fried chicken with Morishita made me happy. So this is for that. You always walk to school with your hands shoved in your pockets, which looks a bit rough, so wear these on the way to school.”
“How do you even know that. You’re a stalker.”
“As a member of the student council, I keep a close eye on all our students.”

She said it with a self-satisfied puff of her chest.
How did she know I didn’t own gloves.

Nanoha is an idiot and a fool and just a plain weirdo.

And yet why does my chest feel this tight.

“You’re too nosy by half.”
“It’s not that I’m worried about you. I said it’s in return for yesterday.”
“Fine.”

I didn’t want her to see my face right now, so I stepped past her. But there was something I needed to say properly.

“Thank… you.”
“You’re welcome.”

I couldn’t see her face, but her voice was smiling.

After that I kept proper watch over her studying, and our strange Christmas came to an end.