Episode 45: February 20th. The Live Venue
The winter neon district. Soft, multicolored light washing over my cheeks.
“The continuation of that day—”
I whispered it into Asami-san’s ear.
“Want to continue that kiss?”
Asami-san’s eyes went wide. A small, repeated “eh?” “eh?”, blinking over and over like a broken machine.
…Ah, yeah. Figured.
I’d been hoping for it, just a little. Just a tiny bit. That maybe she remembered, that maybe she’d say something. That maybe, just maybe, we’d keep going, like this…
But Asami-san just froze after that and said nothing.
Whether she genuinely didn’t remember, or was just pretending not to, I couldn’t tell.
I already knew how she’d react. I should have known. And yet something deep in my chest clenched tight anyway.
Right by her ear, I watched for her reaction. Asami-san’s breathing was ragged. Her bewildered expression shifted colors under the neon light. Beautiful.
“Kidding.”
I laughed lightly, revealing the “trick.”
“Eh.”
Asami-san’s voice made a dumbfounded sound.
“Payback for earlier.”
I said it and spun on my heel. My heels clicking, I started walking briskly away.
Pat.
A warm sensation at my wrist.
“Hey, Hanamori-san.”
I didn’t turn around. Answered with just my voice.
“What.”
“That day, you said… do you… remember it…?”
My heart gave a hard jolt.
“…I said it was a joke, didn’t I?”
As light as I could manage. As innocent as I could manage. I could feel the fake smile stuck to my face.
If I told her everything right now — what kind of expression would Asami-san make?
But I’m scared. This relationship we have right now feels so fragile, so fleeting. Like a single word from me could break it completely. So I can’t say it. I don’t want to say it.
“Hanamori-san…”
Asami-san’s voice, gentle, aching, sweet. Don’t make a voice like that.
“We’re gonna miss the last train, let’s go.”
I said it deliberately brightly, gently pulling my hand free of Asami-san’s and started walking.
My pace toward the station kept quickening. My heartbeat kept quickening too.
Not wanting to break this comfortable relationship, and wanting to get closer, collided inside my chest. Pressing a hand to my throbbing chest, I click-clacked my heels through the night streets at a fast walk.
Asami-san followed a little behind me.
Only the warmth of Asami-san’s hand stayed, lingering on my wrist.
February 20th.
That day, I was getting ready to head out to The Hollow Echoes’ live show.
The show I’d promised to go to with Asami-san.
It didn’t start until evening, and I had no plans until then, and yet for some reason I woke up at six in the morning.
It’s not like I’m looking forward to seeing Asami-san or anything like that. Absolutely not.
Since it was a live show, I changed things up a little from my usual style. An oversized hoodie with a jacket, shorts, tall boots. A cap.
Meant to keep the makeup natural. But I unconsciously put a little extra effort in anyway.
A darker lip color, my eyeliner drawn a little longer than usual. My eyeshadow and blush ended up a little heavier too.
It’s not like I’m self-conscious about Asami-san or anything. Absoluuutely not.
Arriving in front of the venue in Shibuya, Asami-san was already there. I spotted her right away in the crowd. My heart gave a hard jump.
An oversized sweatshirt, loose denim. A knit cap on her head. Not overdressed, simple, and yet it suited her strangely well. The white line of her neck caught my eye, and I looked away on reflex.
“Ah, Hanamori-san.”
“You’re early. Looking forward to it that much?”
“N-no, that’s not it! I just get worried if I don’t show up early for these things.”
I grinned and teased her.
Hoping for something.
“Your face says you couldn’t sleep last night, you were looking forward to it so much.”
“Huh!? It doesn’t say that.”
Asami-san’s ears went red as she argued back. That gesture was oddly childlike, and I found myself laughing despite myself.
“Your legs look cold.”
“Ah, there you go, looking at legs again. Your eyes are perverted at every turn, Asami-san.”
“Wh-what!? That’s not what I meant. It’s cold, so I brought a belly warmer, see.”
“You don’t need to show me.”
Saying that, Asami-san showed me her belly warmer.
An indescribably specific color, the kind an old lady from the countryside would wear as underwear.
The usual light banter. We laughed together, naturally. Asami-san laughed with her snaggletooth showing, eyes narrowing like a cat’s. Cute, I thought.
But Asami-san charms everyone.
This smile, she probably shows it to anyone. The moment I thought that, something deep in my chest gave a sharp stab of pain.
The venue was seriously packed. Their single from last year had apparently blown up, and The Hollow Echoes’ popularity had caught fire. Even before the show started, the energy was intense.
People, people, people.
As the crowd grew, the distance between me and Asami-san naturally closed. Close enough our shoulders nearly touched.
Ah, she’s wearing perfume today. A citrus scent, clean and fresh. A scent I like.
The lights cut out. Cheers rose. The moment the members appeared on stage, the whole venue’s air shifted.
A sharp guitar riff sliced through the space. The drums rang out, the bass thudded in my gut. Shizuku’s voice filled the venue, soaring. As clear and pleasant to the ear as ever.
Under the bright lights, Haruto’s guitar howled. Cool, I thought. But my heart didn’t move the way it used to.
I stole a glance at Asami-san beside me. She was staring straight ahead.
Her long eyelashes cast shadows under the stage lights. Cool, narrow eyes, but kind ones. A high, slightly small nose. Thin, well-shaped lips. Her profile was beautiful, I thought.
Before I knew it, I was more drawn to that than the stage. More than the music, I found myself tracking the changes in Asami-san’s expression.
She noticed my gaze, suddenly. Our eyes met. I tried to look away in a panic, but wasn’t fast enough.
Asami-san smiled softly, eyes narrowing gently. Then, looking a little bashful, dropped her eyes and bit her lower lip.
A slightly troubled expression, but somehow happy too. My heart raced at that face. My heartbeat wouldn’t stop pounding for a while after.
Hey, why do you make a face like that. Stop it.
It just makes me like you even more.
Being this close and not being able to touch you is agony.
I’m just a junior coworker, after all.
Even trying to focus on the show, my eyes kept drifting toward Asami-san. More than the melody of the songs, I found myself fixated on her breathing.
That’s when it happened.
The backs of our hands touched.
Coincidence, or had we drifted closer unconsciously. Startled, I pulled my hand back quickly.
My chest clenched tight. Asami-san’s hand. I found myself looking at it anyway.
Pale and slender, the veins faintly visible on the back of her hand. Delicate fingers. Nails trimmed short and neat.
With that hand…, with those fingers… No good. I just imagined something weird for a second there.
I’m such an idiot. My face kept getting hotter.
On impulse, I lightly grabbed hold of Asami-san’s index finger. Slender. Soft. Warm.
Asami-san looked startled, glancing back and forth between her hand and my face. Her face was red. Red all the way to her ears.
That reaction was cute, and I wanted to tease her a little more. But at the same time, I noticed I was flustered too. My heart wouldn’t shut up.
Let’s focus on the music. Thinking that, I let go of her hand. Then, this time, Asami-san took hold of my finger instead. After that, she slowly stroked the back of my hand.
Her fingertips gliding over my skin, gentle, but agonizingly slow.
“…!”
A shiver ran up my spine, my face heating up all at once. My breath caught, my heartbeat unbearably loud.
I looked over at Asami-san; she kept facing forward, but the corner of her mouth was curled in a slightly mischievous smile. Infuriating.
But that smile made my chest clench tight anyway.
Not wanting to lose, I traced my own fingers gently from her palm up to her wrist. Slowly, teasingly. I could feel her pulse.
Stealing a glance at Asami-san, her eyes were downcast, her breathing a little ragged. Cheeks flushed, biting her lip lightly. Cute. Watching that expression, something deep in my body grew hot.
I win, I thought, smirking to myself.
But the next moment, Asami-san’s fingers slowly traced along the spaces between my own fingers. One by one, carefully. I found myself catching my breath. My whole body stirred, restless, strength draining out of me. I could tell my own breathing had gone ragged.
Throughout the show, this back-and-forth kept going. The music barely registered at all. Only Asami-san’s body heat, the sensation of our touching skin, and a heat smoldering deep inside me stayed, the whole time.
…What am I even doing.
She’s just a senior coworker.
We’re just standing next to each other.
Just standing next to each other, touching hands.
So why does being next to Asami-san put me in such a strange mood.
But this time, it was happy.
I found myself wishing it would just never end.