Episode 103: “Isn’t That Kind of Like a Proposal?”
And then Thursday arrived.
Tomorrow was the day of the “presidents’ meeting” — and after that, Yui-san had the dinner planned with Yukiya-san and their father waiting for her.
I quietly watched Yui-san at her desk.
The materials for the presidents’ meeting had been finished as of yesterday, and the data had already been shared with the parent company. There was nothing else scheduled for today. It should have been a relatively easy day, comparatively.
And yet Yui-san seemed somehow unsettled — sighing occasionally, spinning her pen absently between her fingers with a distracted expression.
Of course she would be. No matter how composed Yui-san usually is, there’s no way she wouldn’t be nervous about this.
She’d already proven with real results that things would be fine without Kitagami-san.
But that was only one piece of the material needed to convey her wish to break the engagement and get her father to understand it.
The sheer weight of telling her father the underlying fact — that she’s gay — I understood that pain acutely myself, having come out to my own family recently.
I couldn’t be there for the family dinner, just the three of them.
But it was unbearably frustrating. Not being able to take that hand of yours, trembling with nerves, and hold it right there in the moment.
“…Yui-san.”
“…Hm? What is it, Kanata?”
She looked up from her monitor and gazed at me gently.
“It’s about the right time — how about some afternoon tea?”
At the suggestion, Yui-san smiled softly and nodded.
*
I opened the cabinet in the break room that had by now become entirely my personal teapot storage, and took out the teapot. When I opened the small tin holding the tea leaves, I heard footsteps and turned around.
“Oh, Aozawa-san. Hard at work, huh~”
“Ah, Seno-san, hard at work.”
Seno-san, apparently just back from lunch, was carrying a lunch tote with a cute floral print. She set her empty bento box down in the sink and picked up the sponge with practiced ease.
“Late lunch today?”
“Yeah, been busy lately~ Is it teatime with the president, Aozawa-san?”
“Yes. Thought I’d take a little break.”
I put the tea leaves and hot water into the teapot and set the timer.
“Hmm, I see,” Seno-san said, her tone calm as she scrubbed the bento box with soap suds.
“…I’m relieved you seem to be doing okay, Aozawa-san. I was a little worried about you.”
“Huh?”
Not understanding what she meant, I tilted my head, and Seno-san curved her full lips into a thin smile, dropping her voice to a whisper no one else could hear.
“I mean, your boyfriend — sorry, girlfriend — is the president, right~?”
My eyes went wide with shock. My heart jumped as if someone had seized it, and I stared straight at her eyes.
Frozen, unable to say yes or no, Seno-san continued, “Don’t worry.”
“I haven’t told anyone, and I don’t plan to. Kaori has no idea at all. I just figured it must have been rough for you. Things have calmed down lately, but there was so much gossip flying around for a while. Still, you really are a strong one, Aozawa-san.”
The rinsed suds swirled down the drain. Realizing she didn’t mean anything malicious by it, I gradually felt myself calming down.
“Seno-san… how did you notice?”
“Well, I mean — that necklace the president’s been wearing ever since she transferred here, you suddenly started wearing it too… and those earrings of yours match the necklace’s motif, and the president wears one just like it.”
Ah… so people who pay attention really do notice. My shoulders slumped; I’d thought we were keeping it hidden well enough. Just then the timer went off, and I hurried to pour the tea into the cups.
“The president never seemed to like that guy at all, huh. …In the end, being with someone you actually love is the best, isn’t it.”
Seno-san said it quietly, almost to herself. I looked at her in surprise. I never would have imagined her saying something like that.
She gave a wry smile, tucked the washed bento box into her tote bag, and gave me a little wave before walking off.
I could only stand there, watching her back in stunned silence.
I have no idea what change of heart led her there, considering she used to say she wanted to marry rich. But — people really do change, huh.
Thinking that over, I carried the tray and headed back to the president’s office.
Sitting side by side on the black leather sofa, our shoulders pressed close together. The bright, refreshing Ceylon scent of the afternoon blend has a way of calming the heart.
“The tea you make really is the best, Kanata.”
“Of course it is. There’s a secret ingredient.”
“A secret ingredient?”
“Lots of love. Just for you, Yui-san.”
I said it proudly, and Yui-san laughed, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me close. Nuzzling into my neck, she was clingier than usual — sweetly so.
“I’m so glad you became my secretary, Kanata. Being able to touch you like this even during work hours is the best.”
“You say that now. You were so reluctant about it at the time.”
“Sorry, sorry. I just didn’t want to force you into it. Back then.”
“For someone you love, you can somehow do anything, you know. It never feels like a burden at all.”
“I know exactly what you mean. Same for me.”
I gazed back into the eyes fixed on mine. They seemed to be wavering with more unease than usual, and I couldn’t help but worry about it.
“…Yui-san, are you okay?”
“Huh?”
“You’ve been restless all morning. Is there anything I can do…?”
I took her hand gently, stroking the smooth back of it. I wanted so badly to wipe away even a little of her anxiety. What could I do? A helpless feeling gnawed at me.
Yui-san, eyes still cast down on our joined hands, murmured quietly.
“Hey, Kanata. …If I asked you to stay over tonight, would that be a problem?”
Her voice, meek and vulnerable, carrying just the faintest sweetness — it shook something deep in me.
“…I want you with me tonight. Is that okay?”
Seeing her, always so confident, looking this fragile made my heart clench like it had been crushed in a fist. I found myself seriously wracking my brain for some way to soothe her heart.
“…Of course it’s okay. I’ll stay with you. All night, until morning.”
I held her close as she nestled sweetly against my shoulder. I kept stroking her back, gently, trying to soothe the tension in her body as it rose and fell with shallow breaths.
Even after we got home, Yui-san seemed somewhere far away, quieter than usual. She hated even the smallest distance between us, holding on to me the whole time and refusing to let go.
Sitting on the sofa, we pressed our bodies together as close as we could get.
Sweetly, she pressed her lips again and again to my cheek, my neck, holding me tightly in her arms — but there was none of the usual passionate desire in it. It was just touch after touch that seemed to say, plainly, that she didn’t want to let me go.
“…I might not be able to sleep tonight.”
Confessing a secret takes courage. There’s no way it isn’t frightening. I’ve been through it myself, so right now, I understood Yui-san’s feelings acutely, painfully well.
I’m sure all kinds of thoughts were racing through her mind right now.
Was there something, anything, that could help take her mind off it?
“…Then instead of forcing yourself to sleep, why don’t we just stay up together tonight?”
“Stay up together?”
“Yui-san, do you remember? Back when I’d just come to live in this house.”
Back then, homesick and lonely, unable to sleep through nights full of anxiety, Yui-san made me sweet hot milk with honey — and invited me to stay up together if I couldn’t sleep.
I can’t forget how much that kindness dissolved my anxiety. It’s a precious memory I still hold onto, even now.
“You used to stay up with me all the time.”
At that, Yui-san laughed as if remembering.
“Oh, that’s right, we did do that. Brings back memories.”
“If you can’t sleep, I’ll stay up with you too. What should we do tonight?”
I took Yui-san’s hand and held it tightly with both of mine. The troubled look that had been on her face until a moment ago softened into a smile, and then, as if something had occurred to her, she spoke.
“Well then… want to keep me company on a little drive, to clear my head?”
*
I was the one who’d suggested staying up together, but I never expected her to suggest going to see the Rainbow Bridge — it caught me completely off guard.
Yui-san’s car glided smoothly along the expressway, weaving between the buildings of the nighttime city.
“Before you and I met again, I used to go on drives alone a lot. Being home by myself sometimes got me down. When I’m driving, I don’t have to think about anything, and it clears my head somehow.”
The Rainbow Bridge came into view. We sped past it like the wind, the bridge lit up and sparkling.
The ease with which she navigated it made me wonder if this might have been Yui-san’s regular driving route.
I wanted to remember this night. Starting tomorrow, our relationship would change. I couldn’t count how long I’d waited for this day to come.
There might have been nights of despair along the way to this point too. How many times, each time, had Yui-san driven down this very road?
I wanted to hold onto it — never forget the blood, sweat, and tireless effort you poured in for my sake, and that this happiness now stands on top of all of it. I will never, ever forget it.
Past the Rainbow Bridge, Yui-san parked in a lot right near the seaside park.
“Since we’re already here, let’s explore a bit.”
Stepping out of the car, I caught the smell of salt on the still-chilly spring night air.
We walked hand in hand along the coastline toward the beach. In the distance, we could see the Rainbow Bridge we’d just driven past. The city lights reflected off the water’s surface, glittering.
“It’s still a bit cold, huh.”
“Well, it’s the ocean.”
“Are you cold, Kanata? Should we head back?”
“No. I want to stay here a little longer.”
At that, Yui-san hugged me from behind as if to warm me. I gently held onto the arms wrapped around me.
“…Hey, Yui-san. What kind of things do you want to do, going forward?”
I wondered what future Yui-san pictured for herself. Right now, I wanted to talk about the future. Not tomorrow, but further ahead — a brighter, more distant future.
“Going forward? Let’s see… I want to travel. I want to go all kinds of places, together. Is there anywhere you want to go, Kanata?”
“Of course there is. I want to go everywhere in Japan. All of it.”
“All of it? Then maybe we should buy an RV and do a trip to hit every aquarium in Japan?”
“That sounds great. Let’s buy a map of Japan and fill it in, one prefecture at a time.”
“And after we’ve conquered all forty-seven prefectures, what then?”
“Then next, let’s go abroad. Anywhere English-speaking, leave it to me.”
“As expected, so reassuring. Thinking about it like this… there’s really nothing but things to look forward to from here, isn’t there. Being with you, Kanata, it feels like anything could come true.”
We’d finally reached the point where we could talk about the future like this, the two of us.
Since that spring day I first met Yui-san at the airport — six years had nearly passed.
“…Hey, Yui-san.”
“Yeah?”
“…I didn’t know happiness like this could exist.”
“I know. It’s still like I’m dreaming. When we first met, I never dreamed, even in my wildest dreams, that you’d come to love me.”
“I never thought I’d meet someone I could love this much either. It’s because you’re you, Yui-san, that I fell this deeply in love.”
“Same here. It’s because you’re you, Kanata, that I fell this deeply. I’m so glad I never gave up.”
I turned to face her, looking into her eyes.
“Yui-san. From now on, please rely on me more. No matter what happens, I’ll be right here beside you.”
I took Yui-san’s left hand and held it tightly in both of mine. Please, let this feeling of mine reach you, straight and true.
“I want to keep living my life together with you, Yui-san. From now on, forever.”
I gazed into eyes as deep and dark as a calm night sea. Yui-san smiled, looking happy.
“…Kanata, isn’t that kind of like a proposal? My heart’s racing right now.”
“Huh?”
I hadn’t meant it that way at all, but hearing her say it, I suddenly felt embarrassed. Yui-san laughed at my reaction, took my left hand, and pressed a kiss to my ring finger.
“T-that’s not what I meant by it…”
“Thank you, Kanata. I feel exactly the same way. But I want to be the one to propose. So look forward to it, and wait for me.”
Saying that, Yui-san looked into my eyes with a bold, confident smile. Flustered, I shoved her shoulder back as she leaned in close.
“That’s not — I mean it, that wasn’t a proposal!”
I said it trying to brush it off, and Yui-san burst out laughing. In her eyes, there wasn’t a trace of anxiety left — not even a single fragment.
With the sound of the waves as our backdrop, we leaned in, lips cooled by the sea breeze, and shared a light, chaste kiss.
Then we looked at each other and laughed, gripping each other’s hands tightly, firmly.