Episode 6: The Study Pledge

Today I’m utterly exhausted.

I was supposed to be at cram school from six, but for the first time since starting high school, I skipped it. I went back to a house I usually dread returning to, arrived at a house where someone was there but no one greeted me, and immediately shut myself in my room.

The anger I’d felt until just now has vanished somewhere, leaving only this restless, unsettled feeling in my chest.

　I tried to throw everything away to feel free, but was suddenly stopped, scolded, lashed out in anger, cried, and was handed a handkerchief.

My emotions are a complete mess.

I don’t even know why the tears came, and suddenly I couldn’t understand my own feelings at all. What I understand least of all is this handkerchief.

This was mine. It wasn’t just a coincidence that Endo-san had the same one.

　This is the one and only handkerchief in the world, handmade for me by my sister when she was little.

I thought I’d lost it ages ago. I’m not attached to things, and it came with unpleasant memories from my sister, so I never bothered looking for it.

But why Endo-san had it is beyond me.

The handkerchief I placed beside the bed just sits there.

I’ll stop thinking about it too deeply.

　Today, too many things happened and I’m too tired to think about it.

Tomorrow, I’ll return the handkerchief.

I’m certain this handkerchief is mine, but since I was asked to return it this time, I have to.

“I don’t want to go to school tomorrow…”

But staying in this suffocating house is more painful. Perhaps because I was tired, I fell asleep while thinking such things.

　Perhaps because I went to bed early yesterday, my body felt incredibly light. I woke up feeling refreshed. My mood was awful, but I went to school as usual and met Mai. She greeted me looking terribly sleepy.

“Morning.”
“Morning. Stayed up late?”
“Got caught up in a game yesterday and before I knew it, it was three o’clock.”
“You brought it on yourself.”
“You’re cold first thing in the morning.”
“That’s normal.”

　Perhaps because we were having such a trivial conversation, my usual self started to return.

Mai seems rather irresponsible, but apparently she’s quite serious about her basketball club practice. I’ve heard she’s the type who transforms when she steps onto the court. Remembering she’d mentioned before that she was in the same club as Endo-san, I asked her.

“Mai, you’re in the same club as Endo-san, right?”
“Yeah, why?”

　This seemed like the perfect moment to return this handkerchief to Mai. Endo-san was someone I really didn’t want to see right now.

Part of me wanted to ask why she had it, but the thought of her having it made me feel queasy, so I decided not to bring it up.

I really must avoid getting involved with that sort of extrovert as much as possible. Otherwise, I’ll probably get dragged into other problems too.

As the conversation trailed off, I spoke to Mai.

“You’ve got club today, right? Could you give this back to Endo-san for me?”
“What’s this?”
“A handkerchief.”
“Well, I can see what it is. Why does Hoshizora have Hina’s handkerchief? Were you two close?”

Though I knew it was mine, I hadn’t expected such a question and felt a little flustered, deciding to gloss over it.

“She dropped it yesterday. Just give it to her.”
“Why not just give it to her yourself?”

I grabbed Mai’s favourite dango bun, squashing it slightly, and said, “Just give it to her,” handing it over a bit forcefully.

Mai whinged, “My dango bun—”, but since she seemed likely to comply with my request, I let go of the bun.

For now, today’s mission was complete.
This meant I could probably concentrate on class.

　It was another clear day.

Birds flew in the distance.

This cloudless blue sky felt slightly hateful.
Like a bird that had lost its wings, my heart had long since lost the ability to fly.

There was no cram school today, so I was set to study at the library.

Cram school was only three days a week, and I didn’t want to be at home on the other days, so studying at the library near my house, open until ten at night, had become my routine.

“Hmph…”

After concentrating for quite some time, I glanced at the clock and saw it was past eight.

“I suppose I’ll head home once I’ve pushed through a little longer.”

Just as I voiced this thought, someone sat down directly opposite me. The library had several circular tables arranged in groups, so having someone sit directly across wasn’t particularly unusual. Yet, I gasped when I saw who sat before me.

“Good evening. Mai gave me this, but why didn’t you return it directly?”

I’d returned it without a word, hoping that would be the end of it. I never imagined she’d come here.

“Sorry I couldn’t return it directly. I thought asking Mai might be less trouble. If you want thanks or something, I can buy it somewhere.”

Why was Endo-san here? Mai must have spilled the beans. I decided I wouldn’t rest until I made her pay for this tomorrow.

“A thank you, eh? — Well then, tutor me until the mid-term exams.”
“Huh?”
“You said you’d repay me, didn’t you?”

Endo-san was beaming at me, looking delighted. I couldn’t understand why things had turned out this way at all.

“Well, yes, but… Normally, wouldn’t you expect sweets or something?”

“I want to get closer to Takizawa-san, and this seemed like a good opportunity. Takizawa-san’s the smartest in our year, and if someone like that tutored me, I might even become second best? Just saying. Your first name is Hoshizora, right? Can I call you Hoshizora?”

I realised once again why I disliked this person. She was the type who spread charm around, paid no heed to others’ opinions, and barged right into people’s personal space.

“I don’t particularly want to be friends, and I don’t want someone I’m not friends with calling me by my first name so familiarly.”

It came out rather coldly. But Endo-san was at fault. Talking to her somehow threw me off my stride. I brushed her off coldly, hoping she’d go away.

“Then, Takizawa it is. I’m Endo Hina. You can just call me Hina.”

　Even though I was being cold, Endo-san said this without breaking her usual fake smile. It made it hard to refuse in this situation, and even if I did refuse, she seemed like she wouldn’t give up easily, making me think I’d just have to give in.

Sighing loudly enough for her to hear, I reluctantly agreed, “Fine. Until the mid-term exams. I can tutor you on days I don’t have cram school.”

“Yay!”

　In the quiet, Endo-san shouted loudly, so I snapped back, “Keep it down!” a bit too loudly myself.
“Takizawa’s voice is louder,” she grumbled.

The future looked bleak. Why had it come to this? Lately, nothing but strange things kept happening. All I wanted was to live peacefully…

And so, my days of studying with Endo-san, the prettiest and most outgoing girl in the year, began.