Episode 22: No Way, She’s Definitely Avoiding Me
The office air felt somehow soft this morning.
The lingering afterglow of Friday’s drinks with Asakura-san, or maybe not. Hard to say.
In that kind of mood, I let out a small yawn.
Getting off the elevator, heading down the hallway toward the sales floor, Asakura-san called out to me from behind.
“Nagi-san. Good morning.”
“Ah, good morning.”
“Thank you for Friday, that was really fun.”
“No, thank you.”
“I feel like… time just disappears when I talk with you, Nagi-san.”
Saying that, Asakura-san drifted up right beside me. Our shoulders touched.
“Ah, me too… same here.”
My face went hot on its own. Her profile was close. Asakura-san’s perfume drifted over, and my heart gave a loud thud.
“Oh, right, where should we go next time?”
Asakura-san pulled out her phone, leaning her body in against my shoulder.
“Um…”
“Ah, by the way, do you know that new place by the station? The Italian one?”
As I leaned in to look at the screen, Asakura-san pressed even closer. Our heads were nearly touching.
Actually, they were touching. I could hear her breathing.
“Ah, I’ve only seen the sign.”
“The mulled wine there is amazing. Perfect for this season.”
Asakura-san’s voice had a bounce to it. Her eyes were sparkling.
And casually, she took hold of my upper arm while scrolling through her phone screen. We were basically pressed together at this point.
We were completely, unmistakably discussing “the next date.”
“Should we go again… just the two of us? I feel like I could spend hours with you, Nagi-san.”
Whispering it, Asakura-san’s last words came out strangely sweet.
“…Ah, ah, yes. Of course.”
Before I knew it, I’d answered instantly. My mouth replied on its own, before I could even think.
At that exact moment—a few meters behind us, the sound of heels came to an abrupt stop.
I turned slowly, and there was Hanamori.
Standing frozen, a folder clutched to her chest.
Our eyes met.
(Eh…)
For just an instant, Hanamori’s eyes went wide, and wavered.
And they were faintly welling up.
(…Eh?)
While I stood there stunned, Hanamori’s expression sank into something dark.
Her brows drooped. Her lips pressed tightly together.
Her mouth opened slightly, like she wanted to say something… but no words came.
“Um, Hanamori—”
The instant I tried to call out to her, Hanamori turned on her heel without a word.
Not even a nod.
Her back looked, somehow, painful to watch.
My heart was racing, but in a completely different sense than a moment ago.
Something in my chest tightened, hard.
(…Eh, what was that face just now…?)
I didn’t know the reason. But it was, unmistakably… an expression I’d never seen before.
Left alone in the hallway with Asakura-san, an awkward silence fell.
“Well, see you later.”
Asakura-san smiled like nothing had happened and got on the elevator, heading back to the design floor.
I stood there alone, staring blankly down the hallway where Hanamori had vanished.
A strange premonition smoldered somewhere in my chest.
From then on, Hanamori was different from usual.
Walking onto the sales floor, I found her by the copy machine.
Taking a breath, forcing a small smile, I approached.
“Morning.”
“…Morning.”
Not even eye contact. A cold, small voice. The temperature of it, minus five degrees.
There was an obvious beat of hesitation before she answered.
“Ah, right, the three-day weekend, so what did—”
“Sorry. I’ve got an urgent task.”
Snap.
I’d been trying to make small talk, something to say, but Hanamori just grabbed a stack of paper from the copier and strode off.
…Eh.
Completely cut off. Mid-sentence. An unexpected forced shutdown.
No, wait, maybe I’m overthinking this?
Maybe her tasks really are piled up and she genuinely has no room to breathe.
If that’s it, I’ll ask later if there’s anything I can help with.
Telling myself that, dragging the unsettled feeling with me back to my desk, I heard Hanamori’s voice from a seat a little ways off.
“Tamura-saaan, good morning♡ What’d you do over the three-day weekend~?”
Her voice pitch had jumped about three levels.
Calculated-cuteness switch, fully on.
And it was a completely different person from the cold expression she’d just shown me, a saccharine smile.
Eyes sparkling. Leaning her shoulder into Tamura-san.
…Excuse me?
Didn’t she just say she had an urgent task?
And now she’s asking Tamura-san, “Where’d you go~?”
Completely, thoroughly chatting away, having a great time.
Something in my chest gave a sharp sting.
(…What is that.)
I tried to pretend I hadn’t seen it and go back to work, but at the edge of my vision, I could see Hanamori laughing, saying “Ufufu, come on, Tamura-san, stoop it~.”
Patting his shoulder, tugging playfully at his arm. Completely, obviously having fun.
…No, wait, isn’t that off?
The sound of my keyboard got strangely aggressive.
Just before noon, I heard Hanamori’s voice right nearby.
“Sasaki-san, sorry to bother you~. So, this Excel thing, this function isn’t working right and it’s throwing an error…”
Hanamori, in a sweet, clingy voice, was asking Sasaki-kun for help with an Excel function. Putting on a troubled face.
“Ah, sorry… I don’t know that one either.”
Sasaki-kun tilted his head.
“I think Asami-san was the one who set up that function, so ask her.”
The instant he said it, Hanamori froze.
My own typing hand stopped too.
Hanamori’s gaze slowly turned my way.
Our eyes met.
“Ah… that’s—”
The instant I tried to speak, Hanamori’s gaze slid away sharply. As if she hadn’t seen anything at all, she dropped her eyes back to Sasaki-kun.
“…Got it.”
Hanamori said, giving Sasaki-kun a small smile.
“I’ll just try it myself after all.”
With that, she walked briskly past me, back to her own desk.
(…Eh, what was that just now.)
I was trying to help.
It’s the function I built, so I’d know it best of anyone.
Something in my chest clenched tight. An unsettled feeling crept up into the back of my throat.
Lunch break.
Heading to the cafeteria, I found Hanamori, unusually, sitting alone.
Normally she’d be with one of the male staff. Today she was picking at a salad, staring blankly at her phone.
Her chopsticks moved slowly. Clearly low-energy.
Tray in hand, I approached her table.
“Mind if I sit?”
Hanamori’s face stiffened for an instant. Her hand holding her chopsticks froze completely. A tomato rolled off her salad and onto the tray.
“Ah, right, about earlier—”
The instant I tried to speak, Hanamori silently picked up her tray and stood without a word.
Then headed toward Yokogawa-san, who happened to be sitting a few tables over.
“Ah, Yokogawa-saaan♡ Good work out there. Mind if I sit?”
She said it and sat down beside the male employee from another department. Wherever her low energy from a moment ago had gone, a perfect, saccharine smile was back in place.
I stood there, chair half-pulled-out, frozen.
(…Eh, did she just run away? She totally ran away, right?)
(Whoa, this is, this is completely being avoided.)
I was certain of it now.
I had no choice but to be certain.
Something in my chest clenched tight. My breath caught.
The clock hands had passed six in the evening.
Hanamori was in front of her computer, letting out a deep sigh.
Passing behind her desk, I caught a glimpse of her screen.
A mass of tabs were open, cycling between a business trip booking site, an Excel error screen, and a site explaining how to fix the error.
Too many tasks, probably. Her shoulders were stiff.
At this rate, another late night of overtime was locked in.
I quietly approached her.
“Hanamori-san.”
“…”
No response. Pretending not to hear?
“Hanamori-san, want help arranging the trip?”
She finally looked up. But no eye contact. Her gaze stopped somewhere around my shoulder.
“What’s erroring in the function? I’ll take a look with you.”
Hanamori’s expression wavered, just for an instant. But it snapped right back to blank.
“…I’m fine.”
A cold voice.
“I’ll do it myself.”
With that, she turned back to her computer.
Completely shut out. Conversation over, notice served.
I stood there, staring at Hanamori’s profile.
(…Why.)
I just wanted to help because she looked like she was struggling.
Why do I have to be rejected this hard for that.
Something in my chest ached, tight. I couldn’t tell if it was irritation or loneliness.
While I stood there, Hanamori got up from her desk and headed for the hallway.
I followed after her.
“Hey, Hanamori-san.”
“…What.”
She didn’t turn around. Talking to my back.
Her shoulders, faintly stiff.
“You’re… avoiding me, aren’t you?”
Hanamori’s back gave a small twitch. Her shoulders rose for an instant, then dropped.
“I’m not avoiding you at all.”
Liar. You’re totally avoiding me.
“No, it’s obviously—”
“I’ve got something to deal with at IT. Excuse me.”
With that, she bolted for the elevator.
The doors closed.
I was left alone in the hallway.
(…No, whatever, it doesn’t matter.)
(It doesn’t matter, and yet…)
(Why does it bother me this much.)
Some part of me was desperately trying to convince myself.
But for something that didn’t matter, my chest felt strangely heavy. A prickling sensation, hard to breathe. Unsettled, restless.
What is this feeling.
Loneliness?
Impatience?
Irritation?
All of it? None of it?
My reflection in the hallway mirror looked sulky. But it also, somehow, looked like it was about to cry.
“…It doesn’t matter if I can’t talk to a brat like that.”
I muttered it, in a voice no one could hear, and headed back to the sales floor.
But the prickling in my chest didn’t go away, even after I sat back down at my computer.
The unease, the heaviness in my heart, the impatience.
None of it faded.