Episode 60: 17 Years Old (2)

I sat next to Endo-san on the train.
We didn’t say much, but sitting next to Endo-san really did put me at ease. After being jostled about on the train for nearly half an hour, I got off about seven stops after boarding.

I was taken aback by where we’d ended up.

‘This place…’

“That’s right. I thought I’d like to go to the zoo with Takizawa today.”
“I didn’t ask for that, and I’m not a child.”
“I didn’t say that, and I don’t think of you as a child.”

Endo-san is being rather defiant today.
I wonder what on earth happened during the spring holidays.
Since I’d already come this far, I figured I had no choice but to give in, so I bought a ticket and decided to go inside.
Perhaps because winter is over and it’s getting warmer, there are quite a few people here.

‘Why the zoo?’
‘I’ve been thinking for ages about what Takizawa likes. You know, it’s been nearly a year since I started talking to Takizawa, but I realised I don’t know anything about her. I tried really hard to remember everything that’s happened between us so far, and I thought, “Maybe she likes animals?”, so I chose this place.’

Since I don’t talk about myself, Endo-san really shouldn’t be worrying about that. I don’t quite understand why Endo-san is so considerate in such odd ways.

　But it’s true, I do like animals.
Just watching them is soothing.
Some animals are friendly towards people, whilst others are aggressive. Some just sit there in a daze, whilst others compete for food, fight, sleep, or make a racket for no apparent reason.

　No matter what I look at, I find them cute.
It’s probably because their behaviour is more straightforward than humans’.
You never know what people are thinking.
Animals are easy to read.
That’s why I find them cute.

Endo-san has spread out the map and is chatting happily about where to start.

I realised I don’t know what Endo-san likes either.

She probably has plenty of talents, but I don’t know what she actually likes.

　Does Endo-san like animals?
Is she just going along with me?
Is she forcing herself?

……

Why am I thinking about Endo-san so much, even when I’ve come to the zoo? I decided to stop overthinking the little things and just enjoy the moment.

The zoo became fun right from the start.
As soon as we entered, penguins and swans welcomed us.

‘Penguins swim so smoothly, it’s amazing.’
‘Takizawa doesn’t look like she’s very good at swimming, does she?’
‘That’s rude, I’m probably better than Endo-san.’

No, I’m definitely worse than Endo-san.
I only had a few lessons a long time ago; there’s no way I could beat her. Is she actually good at swimming too? I can easily picture Endo-san at the beach, wearing a flashy swimsuit and looking all sparkly.

　A little further on, there are two gorillas in a large hall. I wondered what was going on as people were gathering, and it turns out they’re gorillas that throw lots of things.
The audience gets all excited and makes a racket whenever the gorillas throw something. The gorillas seemed delighted and kept repeating the action over and over.

“Gorillas have good control, don’t they? They’re throwing things right where they aim.”
“It’s just like Endo-san when she’s playing basketball.”
“Eh… does Takizawa think I look like that gorilla?”
“Yeah.”
“Eh…”
“I’m joking.”

Endo-san was so entertaining that I couldn’t help but crack a joke.

“Takizawa actually tells jokes? I didn’t think you were the type, so for a moment I thought you were serious and considered taking a long, hard look at myself.”
“Of course I tell jokes. But Endo-san, perhaps you really should take a long, hard look at yourself.”
“Eh?”

Endo-san looked unconvinced, but I decided it didn’t matter and carried on without giving it a second thought.

There were so many rare birds from all over the world that I couldn’t help but get excited. There were beautiful-looking birds, birds with funny calls, and all sorts of interesting ones, from tiny birds to huge ones.
I wandered around, thinking there was no way I’d ever be able to remember their names and species.
The only one I could recognise was the ostrich.

‘Doesn’t that ostrich look a bit like Mai?’
‘Endo-san, that’s a massive insult.’
‘I mean, the way it just wanders along, looking all spaced out, is dead similar.’
‘You’re right.’

The moment our eyes met, I burst out laughing. It had been ages since I’d made eye contact with Endo-san, and my heart gave a sudden thump. Because of that, I immediately looked away from her.

As if to cover it up, I carried on talking.

“I’m going to tell Mai on you. I’ll tell her you were making fun of her.”
“Go on then, I’ll make Takizawa an accomplice too.”
“That’s a bit of a problem.”

I think I’m talking more today than I’d expected, even by my own standards. But it’s so much fun I can’t help but keep chatting.

　I’m enjoying this silly conversation with Endo-san.
No, actually, it’s the zoo that’s fun.
It wouldn’t make any difference who I came with.

When I was so little I can’t even remember it, I came to the zoo with my family. My memory of that time is also a happy one. I suppose zoos really are fun, and maybe I just like them.

We arrived at the area where the pandas and bears are.
The panda was rolling about looking rather listless.

‘That panda looks just like Endo-san when she’s just woken up.’
‘No, if anything, it’s more like Takizawa, isn’t it?’
‘I wake up straight away and I’m always in a good mood when I get up.’
‘Ugh, you’re right…’

She looks rather annoyed, as if she has no choice but to admit it.

Endo-san’s expression keeps changing today.
Perhaps it’s because we’re in a remote place where we don’t know a soul.
I find myself unable to take my eyes off her.

‘Pandas are actually this cute, aren’t they? It’s so soothing.’
I thought Endo-san was a bit of daft for calling it cute, given she’d just said she looked like a panda.

A little further on, a red panda greets us.

‘Apparently, red pandas have such cute faces but they’re actually quite feisty.’
‘Oh, really?’
‘It’s so obvious what Takizawa isn’t interested in, isn’t it? You were really excited about the pandas, weren’t you?’
‘I wasn’t excited; I was just watching them because I thought it was funny how much they looked like Endo-san.’

Oh no… I regretted my words the moment I’d spoken them.

It sounds as though I’m interested in Endo-san.
Endo-san doesn’t say a word. I think it’s sneaky of her to stay silent at times like this.

　After that, Endo-san continued to explain all sorts of animals to me.
I wonder if she’d done a lot of research for today.
Is she trying to entertain me?

I couldn’t make head nor tail of Endo-san’s intentions today, and that left me feeling rather unsettled.

When we reached the big cat enclosure, the highlight of the zoo, there were lions, tigers and polar bears.

　Perhaps the lions are well aware of their popularity, as they came right up close to the visitors.

‘They’re so imposing, aren’t they?’
‘Are you scared, Endo-san?’
‘Of course I’m not scared. There’s a proper barrier, after all.’

At that very moment, a lion gave the glass enclosure a loud thump.
Endo-san flinched.

‘So you were scared after all.’
‘N-no, I wasn’t!’

As we were having this exchange, a polar bear floated past us, bobbing gently. Then, with such vigour that it broke the gentle atmosphere, it began to move briskly, swimming and climbing onto land.

‘That’s cool.’
Endo-san was transfixed by the polar bear.

‘Do you like polar bears?’
‘No, this is the first time I’ve seen a real one, but I’m surprised at how agile they are.’

I looked at Endo, wondering what sort of comment that was.

Today, I didn’t sense the barrier I’d been feeling around Endo recently.

I felt a little happy.

As I continued to watch the polar bear, I didn’t even notice that Endo had moved a little further away; I just kept watching the polar bear.

In the large animal enclosure, there are giraffes and elephants, but they’re quite a distance away, so it’s hard to see them properly. Parents with young children seem to be having a hard time, some are carrying their little ones, while other children are throwing tantrums if they’re not allowed to walk.

There was a little girl crouched all alone in that area. When I looked at Endo-san, she seemed to be watching the animals without noticing her.

‘Endo-san, could you wait here for a moment?’

　Leaving Endo-san, who looked puzzled, I ran over to the girl.

‘Where are your mum and dad?’
The girl just sobbed quietly and wouldn’t answer.

I felt as though I’d been just like this on the day my parents abandoned me. I was overwhelmed with anxiety; it was agonising.

I picked the girl up and decided to take her to the lost children’s centre for the time being.

‘Takizawa!’
　I heard a voice from behind and saw Endo-san running towards me.

‘What’s wrong with her?’
‘She seems lost, so I thought I’d ask them to put out an announcement.’
The little girl had stopped crying in my arms.

‘Why didn’t you call me?’
‘Because you looked like you were having fun, Endo-san.’
I didn’t want to disturb Endo-san. I just wanted her to carry on enjoying herself. That was all.

However, she let out a deep sigh.

‘Don’t try to sort everything out on your own.’
‘Sorry…’

‘What’s your name?’
Endo-san spoke gently to the little girl.

‘Hana…’
‘Hana-chan?’
Endo-san asked with a gentle, kind smile.
The little girl nodded.

Thanks to Endo-san speaking to her so kindly, Hana-chan seemed to have calmed down considerably.

‘Shall we look for your mum and dad together?’
I said this and lifted Hana-chan onto my shoulders.

I thought she’d be easier to spot from up high.
To my surprise, she was delighted to be carried on my shoulders; perhaps because she could see the animals more clearly, she began to get completely absorbed in them.
Children are so honest and sweet.

‘Big sister! Look, look, there’s a giraffe!’
She was having such fun, it was as if she’d never been crying just a moment ago.

“Do you think I can grow bigger than the giraffe?”
“You might not be able to get bigger than the giraffe, but you’ll grow up, you know.”

I felt a bit pathetic that I could only come up with such clichéd things to say. I wondered what Endo-san would have replied.

As I thought that and looked over at Endo-san, I was surprised to see her beaming.

Why?

As we walked towards the zoo’s main office, a couple who looked like Hana-chan’s parents approached us.

“Oh, Mummy and Daddy!”
Hearing that, I lifted Hana-chan down from my shoulders.

“I’m sorry… my darling girl…”
“She’d got lost, so we were just about to ask them to make an announcement over the PA system.”
Endo-san was handling the conversation with Hana-chan’s parents. Thinking it was best to leave that sort of thing to her, I decided to step back a little and wait.

Hana-chan was clinging to her parents, calling out, “Mummy! Daddy!”
　Just as her parents bowed to me and were about to leave, Hana-chan called out in a loud voice.

“See you later!”

I doubt I’ll ever see her again.
Children are so pure.
I found myself envying her ability to express her feelings so honestly.

“Thank you for your help, Endo-san.”
“Takizawa wouldn’t have been able to talk to her parents properly on her own; they’d probably have suspected her of being a kidnapper or something.”
Endo-san can be a bit rude at times.
　No, actually, I think she’s quite rude.

It’s true I’m not very good at talking to people, but I do believe I possess a certain degree of common sense.

“Takizawa, you’re surprisingly strong, aren’t you?”
“Well, I suppose I’m strong enough to carry the heavy Endo-san home.”
“‘Heavy’ is unnecessary.”
Since Endo-san had been rude, I decided to return the favour. Even though she’d brought up the topic herself, perhaps she wasn’t satisfied, because she started tugging at my cheek.

‘That hurts.’
It didn’t actually hurt, but I wanted her to let go, so I just blurted something out.

‘Takizawa’s really kind, isn’t she?’
Endo-san looked straight at me with a serious expression as she said that, so I felt embarrassed and looked away.

‘I’m just normal, aren’t I?’

We decided to resume our tour of the zoo, which we’d had to interrupt.