Episode 30: Bonus - Practice

Ever since Mai mentioned the kiss mark, I’d spent the entire day thinking about kiss marks.
I felt sickened by my own thoughts, wondering if this was just a phase where I fancied doing things like that.

I just wanted to see if I could understand, even a little, what Mai had said she felt.

　And I wanted to see Endo-san make a disgusted face when I left a mark on her. She’d probably see the mark when we weren’t together and make that face again.

I just thought it might be nice if Endo-san’s expression changed when she thought of me, even when we weren’t together.

I looked up how to do it online.

Practising on my arm seemed easiest, but I ended up with loads of red marks and regretted it.

　It’s summer, and now I can’t wear short sleeves.
First off, if my sister saw this, there’d be a huge fuss.
Even though it’s midsummer, I decided to put on long sleeves in a hurry.

Why must I be thinking about Endo-san on a day like this…

It’s all because Mai brought up that strange idea.

My relationship with Endo-san is still ambiguous.

　I should have just made her a friend early on. But then Endo-san said she’d pay me for studying, and that’s when things got weird.

It’s all Endo-san’s fault. Endo-san is to blame.

Friends…

I can’t imagine Endo-san being my friend.

So then, what is Endo-san to me?

　A dog…?

I decided to stop thinking about such inconclusive matters.

More than that, the summer festival was making me utterly miserable. I can’t stand crowds; they exhaust me.

What am I supposed to enjoy, when I have little interest in the food or the cute things?

I’ll just tell myself I’m going out of obligation, not to enjoy myself.

I couldn’t sleep even after burrowing under the duvet, and the next day I was sleep-deprived.