Episode 40: Sleepover (2)

‘Endo-san…’

Takizawa gazes at me and presses her lips against mine. I close my eyes and accept it.

The point where our lips meet is growing hot.

Takizawa’s warm tongue slips between my lips and teeth and into my mouth. Her hot, soft tongue melts into me and feels as though it has always been there.

　If only time could stop right here, just like this…

As I concentrate on the kiss, my clothes are pushed up and she touches my stomach. The places Takizawa touches grow hotter and hotter.
Her hand keeps stroking higher and higher.

“Hoshizora…”

When she called my name like that, Takizawa smiled at me.

“Hina…”

She called the name I’d always wanted her to call me, and then sealed my lips once more. My heart tightened at her touch.

Takizawa’s hand, now higher up, was caressing my most sensitive spots.

“Takizawa… any further than this…”

　Sunlight streamed onto my face.

I opened my heavy eyes.

There was something soft and navy blue near my face.
I felt my face grow hot at the thought of the embarrassing dream I’d had.

Do I actually want to do that sort of thing with Takizawa? Remembering what happened yesterday made me feel even more embarrassed.

Yesterday, Takizawa rocked me to sleep.

I hate thunder. The sound is so loud it makes me anxious.

　I worry it might strike right where I am.

But even though I’ve always been alone at times like that, yesterday Takizawa was there beside me. Just having her there was enough to be grateful for — and yet she lay down next to me and rubbed my back.

Since the time I was little, when I couldn’t sleep because of the thunder and my mom stroked my head until I drifted off — no one had ever done anything like that for me since.

Takizawa always helps me when I’m struggling. She’s my hero — sparkling, dazzling — and whenever I spot her at school, my eyes just naturally follow her. She’s that kind of presence.

　Looking at Takizawa right in front of me, I found myself remembering yesterday all over again.

　Yesterday wasn’t just about sleeping together.

　Before that, for some reason, Takizawa kissed me. What’s more, I was so bewildered by that unusual behaviour that I’m still troubled by it now.

　Even if I asked her, ‘Why did you do that?’, Takizawa probably wouldn’t answer. I’ve always thought that when Takizawa kisses me, it’s just an extension of her curiosity or something like that.

　But a kiss like yesterday’s…

　I’d better stop thinking about it.

　Right now, I need to figure out what to do about this situation.

　I want to touch the not-so-big breasts right in front of me, but I have a feeling that if I do, she’ll never speak to me again. Or rather, why do I even want to touch them?

　As I was thinking that, Takizawa began to stir. When I looked over at her, she said, ‘Good morning, Endo-san,’ her eyes still half-closed.

Even though she’d only just greeted me, my heart started pounding.

‘Good morning, Takizawa.’

Saying that, I leaned towards her and hugged her.

I want to say ‘good morning’ to Takizawa every day.

　Takizawa said she didn’t have a girlfriend, but I wonder if she’ll ever find someone she likes. Will I still be able to stay by Takizawa’s side until then?

Unconsciously, I tightened my arms around her.

‘Endo-san, you’re squeezing me… the thunder’s stopped now.’

Takizawa said this with a sulky expression and tried to get out from under the duvet.

‘I’d like to stay like this just a little longer…’

　Takizawa had been so kind since yesterday, and I’d found myself wanting to take advantage of it.

“Sigh… just for a little while then.”

Saying that, Takizawa stayed right there under the duvet.

“Is it okay if I call you Hoshizora?”
I want to call Takizawa that. I want us to get even closer. And I want her to call me by my name too.
Just like in my dreams…

“It’s not like things are a problem as they are now, is it?”

She told me that with a look of exasperation.
She’s certainly right. But I think it’s okay for her to indulge my little whims just a little.

As I looked a bit sulky, she kissed me again.

Why are you kissing me…?
I wanted to ask that, but if I did, Takizawa would probably get annoyed. In the end, I couldn’t ask anything and I still don’t know anything about Takizawa.

‘I’m making breakfast. Is there anything you fancy?’
‘No.’
‘Right. I go for a walk every morning. Fancy coming along?’
‘No.’

Takizawa seems like the indoor type, so she probably hates that sort of thing. I don’t think she’d come even if I forced her, so I gave up and decided to go out on my own.

‘All right. I’ll pick up some ingredients for breakfast whilst I’m out walking, so just wait in bed, OK?’

　As I said that and tried to get out of bed, she grabbed my arm.

‘I’ll come after all.’

What on earth made her change her mind?
We changed out of our pyjamas into tracksuits and went outside.

As we’d got up early, it was still cool despite it being summer. The slightly chilly breeze felt pleasant.

Even when I’m with Takizawa, we mostly just sit in silence.

It’s not that I find it awkward, but there’s so much I want to talk to Takizawa about.

“Starting tomorrow, I’ll be away at summer camp for a week, so I’ll be a bit lonely not seeing you, Takizawa.”
“Is that so?”

No matter what I said, Takizawa’s replies were always matter-of-fact. Yet, even those brief exchanges were enjoyable moments for me.

“Do you have any memories from this summer holiday, Takizawa?”
“Maybe how tired I was after carrying you home, Endo-san.”
“Sorry… I’ll do my best to lose about five kilos.”

　Compared to Takizawa, I am certainly heavy. I don’t think I’m fat, but I do exercise, so I’ve got muscles and all that… I protested silently to myself.

“You’re fine just as you are, Endo.”
“No, wait, you’re the one who just said I’m heavy, albeit indirectly.”
“That’s only because it’s you, Endo…”

Takizawa was saying something baffling, which was unusual for her. The atmosphere had become awkward, so I decided to change the subject.

“I’m planning to have toast with bacon and a fried egg on top for breakfast. Is that alright?”
“Whatever you like.”

Takizawa today, no, she never seems to be in the mood for conversation. Why did she say she’d come along?

Is this even fun?

I had various doubts, but I gave up on trying to talk and walked slightly closer to Takizawa.

“Endo-san, it’s summer, so it’s hot.”
“So, would it be fine in winter, then?”
“That’s not what I meant…”

Takizawa’s reply was as cold as winter, even in summer.

I hate winter.

It’s cold, and when I get home, I have to heat up the freezing house from scratch. I wonder if I’ll be able to spend this winter with Takizawa.

—I want to spend time with Takizawa.

Walking side by side at a distance where Takizawa wouldn’t complain, I made that wish.