Episode 15: Year-End Party, the Person I’ve Admired Beside Me
“Cheers.”
Hanamori and I clinked glasses with Asakura-san, who’d just sat down. A clean little chink rang out.
“Good work this year.”
Asakura-san’s voice carried soft and warm.
The three of us talked for a while after that. War stories about Department Head Hayakawa from planning, some running joke about a phrase Chief Moriguchi from accounting always says, harmless office small talk like that. Hanamori laughed along, but she seemed oddly restless. Her eyes kept darting around, her hand fidgeting with her glass more than usual. Like a kid who couldn’t sit still.
Somewhere in the middle of it, Hanamori suddenly stood up beside me, peach oolong in hand.
“I’m gonna go say hi over there for a bit.”
I looked up at her. She was smiling, but something about it looked strained. Her eyes didn’t seem to be smiling. Or so it seemed.
“Sure. See you in a bit.”
Hanamori gave a small bow and walked briskly off toward Tamura-san’s table.
“Tamura-saaan♡”
Hanamori’s voice was unnervingly sweet. The usual honeyed tone, calculated cuteness at full power. Tamura-san responded with an “Oh, hey, good work,” clearly pleased.
I watched her back as she went. Something in my chest stirred, unsettled. It was the same scene as always. Why now.
“You and Hanamori-san get along well, huh.”
Asakura-san said it lightly, with a small laugh.
“…Yeah, I guess.”
All I could manage was a vague answer. I didn’t know how else to respond.
Asakura-san suddenly pulled something out of her pocket. A vape.
“You smoke?”
The words slipped out before I could stop them.
“Yes, just a little. …Disappointed?”
Asakura-san smiled, a touch mischievous, glancing up at me with the device between her lips as she switched it on.
“No… just a little surprising.”
“I usually hold off, but I get the urge at drinking parties.”
The way she exhaled looked, somehow, sultry and alluring. A thin curl of vapor rose into the air.
“They say it goes well with drinking, right?”
“Right, right, you get it?”
“I don’t smoke, so I wouldn’t really know.”
Asakura-san laughed softly. The way she tilted her glass while breathing out smoke looked picture-perfect, every single time.
“That project came through fine, by the way. Thank you.”
I turned to face Asakura-san. My voice came out strained. My heart was pounding, my throat dry.
My grip tightened on my glass, my fingertips going pale. The condensation felt strangely cold against my nerves.
“Not at all, it’s thanks to your materials, Asami-san.”
Asakura-san answered with her perfectly styled hair and a graceful smile. Just looking at that smile made my heart skip again. Calm down, me. How many years have I been a working adult?
“No, it was your design that did it. The client was completely hooked.”
“I’m glad to hear you say that.”
Asakura-san leaned in. The line of her collarbone was visible through the neckline of her blouse. I looked away. Where was I even supposed to look. My palms were sweating.
I wanted to talk more naturally, but my throat was bone dry with nerves. I took a sip of beer. Then another. The cold going down my throat felt good, settling me a little.
“By the way, about the next project—”
Asakura-san started talking. A new proposal, some inside gossip from her department. I nodded along, listening.
Maybe it was the alcohol, but Asakura-san’s expression seemed softer than usual. Her cheeks were a little flushed. Cute.
Asakura-san reached for her vape, exhaling slowly. The gesture was unnervingly sultry, and I found myself staring despite myself.
“The department head was pretty flustered back then, huh?”
“He really was. But you handled the follow-up so well, Asakura-san.”
“No, no, it was your material structure that made it work, Asami-san.”
Asakura-san narrowed her eyes and smiled.
The conversation flowed easily. Thanks to the alcohol, the tension eased little by little. Every sip of beer loosened my shoulders further. Bless alcohol, honestly.
Chances to talk with Asakura-san like this were rare. Before I knew it, even the shaking in my hand holding the glass had stopped.
In the middle of all that, Hanamori caught my eye for a moment.
Huh, her face is red. Is she pushing herself too hard again?
I hope she’s okay. Hope she doesn’t get completely wasted again.
“Asami-san?”
Asakura-san’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts, and I realized her face was close. Right beside me. Wait, hold on, that’s close, way too close.
My heart started pounding again.
“Ah, yes. Sorry.”
I snapped back to attention. Need to focus on the conversation. Another sip of beer. Calm down.
But my eyes kept drifting toward that other table. On their own, without my permission.
Hanamori was surrounded by Tamura-san and the other male sales staff, laughing happily.
Tamura-san said something, and Hanamori let out a high-pitched “kyahaha.” More physical contact than usual. Touching Tamura-san’s shoulder, his arm, lingeringly.
That laugh, those eyes, nothing like when she’d been talking to me one-on-one.
“—so, isn’t that funny?”
“…Huh? …Ah, yes. Definitely.”
I gave some vague agreement. Crap, I hadn’t been listening to Asakura-san at all. What was she even talking about?
“Are you actually listening, Asami-san?”
Asakura-san made a slightly pouty face.
“Sorry, I think the alcohol’s catching up to me, I’m a little spaced out.”
“Fufu, is that so?”
Asakura-san set her glass down. Her slender fingers were beautiful.
“Actually, I really love movies.”
“What genres?”
“Mystery, suspense, that sort of thing.”
Asakura-san paused for a moment.
“Also, surprisingly, I watch a fair amount of romance films too.”
“Same here. I just watched In the Wake of Spring recently.”
“Oh, that one. The ending was so good, wasn’t it?”
Asakura-san leaned in closer. The distance between us shrank. Her perfume drifted over, sweet and mature, citrus with musk underneath. It smelled good.
“It really was. I cried at that part.”
“I know exactly what you mean. You’re into that kind of thing, huh, Asami-san?”
The conversation never lulled, we had so much common ground. Movies, books, how we each spent our days off. As the alcohol kicked in further, the conversation flowed more and more smoothly.
I felt the distance between us closing. My nerves had fully loosened, my shoulders relaxed, I was talking normally now.
Asakura-san brought the vape to her lips again, exhaling slowly. Her profile was beautiful; I found myself staring, entranced.
As the drinks kept coming, something about Asakura-san’s whole demeanor shifted. From her usual flawless, impeccable composure into something softer, looser.
Her eyes had gone hazy, her laugh a little unraveled.
“You’re easy to talk to, Asami-san.”
Asakura-san leaned in. The distance between us closed further, our shoulders touching.
“…You think so? Thank you.”
“There aren’t many people I can talk to like this normally, so it’s fun.”
Asakura-san’s eyes were glossy. The alcohol had gotten to her. Her cheeks were flushed too. Cute, I thought, unable to stop myself.
But then, again, my eyes drifted toward that other table. On their own, without permission.
Hanamori was still surrounded by the male staff, laughing happily.
But for a second, it looked like she’d glanced this way.
I need to focus on Asakura-san. This is a rare chance and I’m wasting it.
“Speaking of which, there are a lot of good restaurants around here, aren’t there?”
Asakura-san changed the subject.
“Oh, is that right?”
“Yeah. Italian, French, places like that.”
Asakura-san tilted her glass.
“I found this hidden gem of a bistro on social media the other day. Great atmosphere, and the wine’s really good.”
“Oh, nice.”
“Do you drink wine too, Asami-san?”
“I like it. Though I don’t know much about it.”
“I don’t either, honestly. As long as it’s good, that’s enough for me.”
Asakura-san laughed. She exhaled a thin stream of vapor and reached for her glass again.
“But places like that are hard to go to alone, you know.”
“I know exactly what you mean.”
“So I’ve been wanting to go with someone.”
Asakura-san paused for a moment.
“Asami-san, if you’d like, want to go together sometime?”
“Huh?”
My thoughts stopped dead. Wait, what did she just say. A date? Is this a date? Wait, is it not? The alcohol was supposed to have calmed me down, and now my heart was pounding all over again.
“I mean, but—”
“Just after work sometime. We get along so well, Asami-san, I think it’d be fun.”
Asakura-san tilted her head. Her hair slipped off her shoulder, revealing the pale line of her neck.
“Is that… no good?”
She pouted, just slightly.
“I’ll go.”
I answered instantly. My mouth just moved on its own.
“Really? I’m glad.”
Asakura-san smiled, delighted.
The conversation continued for a while after that. The alcohol had loosened all my nerves. Talking with Asakura-san was fun. Restaurants, hobbies, all kinds of things. Thanks to the drinks, I could talk with her relaxed and easy.
—I felt that gaze again.
Without thinking, I glanced over. Hanamori was looking this way. The instant our eyes met, she looked away.
No, probably my imagination. A coincidence. It had to be.
Every time Asakura-san said something, I answered with a smile. Maybe my expression was getting a little loose, a little giddy.
I felt the gaze again. I flicked my eyes over, just my eyes. Sure enough, Hanamori was watching.
The moment our eyes met, she looked away again.
This time I saw it clearly. She’d absolutely, definitely been looking this way.
The unease in my chest grew. What is this?
“Asami-san?”
Asakura-san’s voice rang out close to my ear. Her breath brushed my neck. The mingled scent of alcohol and vapor made my head spin.
“Ah, sorry. Um… what were we talking about?”
I turned back to Asakura-san. But I couldn’t focus. None of it was sinking in. My attention was half, no, eighty percent somewhere else.
Time alone with the senior I’ve admired. There’s no better chance than this, and yet my chest is churning with unease.
What even is this?
Why does it feel this unsettled, this prickly?
I don’t know the answer. And some part of me doesn’t want to know it.
For now, I stopped thinking and drained the rest of my beer in one go.