Winter Bonus Chapter One: Nails
Keeping my nails trimmed short was a habit that lasted until my college days.
Removing the sharp edges with a file, making them short, round, and smooth. I kept the middle and ring fingers on my left hand particularly short, almost to the quick. After carefully running my fingertips over them to make sure there was nothing to catch on, I would always paint them myself.
Looking back, that ingrained habit wasn’t for anyone specific, it was ultimately just for my own sake.
Because if my nails were long when I pushed “someone” down onto the bed, it would be a problem. It was simply a matter of that.
After I separated from Kanata, I stopped keeping my nails short. There was no particular reason. I think I simply couldn’t find any meaning in spending the night with anyone other than Kanata anymore.
When we first met, I never imagined a day would come when she would return my feelings.
So subconsciously, I must have been searching for someone who resembled her.
At first, I was satisfied with that. But soon, even that felt insufficient.
It was fine while I was still finding traits in other girls that overlapped with Kanata’s.
But as time passed, I couldn’t help but notice all the ways they were different. In the end, I was confronted with the stark reality that no one could ever replace her, and the emptiness within me only grew.
Less than a year after meeting her, before I even realized it, I had become unable to hold another girl.
That was why, ever since parting with Kanata, my habit of keeping my nails short had completely disappeared.
As I filed the nails on my left hand while humming, Kanata leaned over the back of the sofa and peeked at what I was doing.
Sensing her presence, I turned around to find her gaze fixed on my nails.
“Hmm? What is it?”
“Yui-san, you seemed in such a good mood that I wondered what you were doing, but…”
“I was just tidying my nails.”
I raised my bare nails, freshly stripped of any polish, to show her.
Kanata awkwardly looked away, her cheeks flushing a delicate pale red, and muttered in a small voice, “I see.”
Her shy reaction immediately clicked with me. Wanting a better look at her adorable expression, I leaned in, but realizing this, Kanata abruptly tried to pull away from the sofa.
I reached out and grabbed her arm tightly so she couldn’t escape.
Kanata looked flustered, her eyes darting around.
“Kanata, where are you going? Come over here.”
Caring for my nails used to be solely for my own sake in the past, but now, knowing it was for Kanata’s sake made me eager, putting me in a great mood.
A sweet weekend night spent just the two of us, I always look forward to it so much I can hardly stand it.
The winter cold and the fatigue of the week blow away in an instant. Touching my beloved girlfriend is an irreplaceable, precious time for me.
Kanata had been watching my reaction cautiously, but once she realized I had no hidden motives, she padded over with soft footsteps, rounded the couch, and sat down next to me.
She then stared intently at my unpolished nails.
“…Since you always wear nail polish, Yui-san, bare nails feel kind of unusual. You’re so dexterous and good at painting them, too. I’m jealous that every color suits you.”
“You think so? Our company has a flexible dress code, so you can do whatever you like, too, Kanata.”
Saying that, I took Kanata’s hand and gently stroked her small, light-pink nails that looked like cherry blossom petals.
Short nails. Unlike me, Kanata didn’t really need to keep hers short, but she seemed worried about having scratched my back before. Ever since then, she started keeping them trimmed short.
If it’s a scratch left by Kanata, even if it leaves a mark, I really don’t mind at all.
In fact, thinking that she feels so good that she forgets about such things actually turns me on immensely, though if I said that out loud, she’d probably get embarrassed and pout, so I’ll definitely never tell her.
“Yui-san… after you started working, you let your nails grow long, right? Did you do them yourself back then too?”
“No, I had them done at a nail salon. But now I think it’s better to do them myself. Since I always want to keep them short.”
Saying that much, Kanata smoothly pulled her hand back and looked down.
Ah, she’s blushing. So cute.
When she acts so cute and clearly conscious of what it means, naughty thoughts start welling up inside me.
Knowing that teasing her just a little would yield an even cuter expression made it genuinely hard to hold back my desires.
“Hey, Kanata.”
“…What is it?”
“Do you remember when you did my nails just once back when we were students?”
“Eh…?”
Kanata’s eyes flickered with flustered emotion, and her cheeks turned a soft rose pink.
I won’t let her say she forgot that incident.
That day, Kanata had suddenly asked me, “Please let me do your nails.”
Telling me to hold out my hand without room for argument, she started filing my nails, only to nonchalantly ask me which fingers I used when holding a woman.
I remember being shocked to my core, almost taking my breath away.
To be honest, I was genuinely troubled back then. Even though I instinctively held out my right hand, Kanata wanted to do my left hand too, which made me want to hold my head in frustration.
After all, having Kanata prepare the fingers I used to hold other girls…
Just remembering it brings back the complex emotions I felt at the time.
Back then, I didn’t know if Kanata truly understood the meaning behind me keeping my nails trimmed, but thinking about making earnest Kanata do such a thing made me feel guilty, as if I were committing a sin.
“I don’t remember, that was so long ago…”
Looking at Kanata with her flushed cheeks and pouting lips, it was instantly obvious she couldn’t have forgotten.
Desperately holding back a laugh, I peered into Kanata’s eyes.
Back then, it was indeed something done to hold other girls. But now, it’s different.
In that case, it should be fine to ask her now, right?
It might be a little mean, but I want to see Kanata get even more embarrassed and shy. I know it’s a bad habit of mine.
But when she makes a face like that, I can’t help losing my brakes either.
“I see, you don’t remember… What a shame. Hey, Kanata. Since we’re here, do them again for me. My nails.”
“Huh?”
This time, I offered my left hand without hesitation. Freezing for a moment, Kanata stared into my eyes trying to discern my true intentions.
So cute. I want to hug her. I want to kiss her. Hiding those feelings behind a smile so she wouldn’t notice, I gently placed the file in her right hand.
“Here, please.”
“Yui-san, are you serious? I’m clumsy, and I definitely can’t apply nail polish neatly.”
“Then just shaping the length is fine. Just the middle and ring fingers will do.”
Whispering mischievous words like that, Kanata held the file and looked down, her face turning bright red at last.
Giving such an adorable reaction makes me want to ask her every single time.
“But…”
“Please. Doing it on my dominant hand side is pretty difficult.”
That was a lie, of course. Having done it countless times, I’m actually completely used to it. But I want to see cute, embarrassed Kanata, so it can’t be helped.
Seemingly convinced by my lie, Kanata reluctantly took the middle finger of my left hand and gently pressed the file against the nail.
My nails were already short to begin with; just taking off the slightly grown corners and rounding them out took no time at all for just the middle and ring fingers. As Kanata seriously groomed my nails while blushing, I just watched her intently.
Knowing full well what grooming the nails on these specific fingers meant, doing it properly despite her shyness was so endearing I could hardly bear it.
This is impossible. I can’t wait until tonight anymore, I thought, but since Kanata was taking the trouble to fix my nails, I exercised self-control to endure until she finished.
“…Yui-san, um, is it okay like this?”
I stroked the tips of my newly groomed middle and ring finger nails. Smooth and shaped without anything to catch on, the fingertips were back to a length I was thoroughly familiar with.
Rolling the file in my hand, I chuckled a little at Kanata’s restless demeanor. Then, with the very fingertips she had just groomed, I touched Kanata’s soft shoulder.
“Thanks. Since we’re here, want to test and see if it’s really okay?”
“Eh…?”
I applied my weight gently. Her body naturally gave way and reclined onto the sofa. Her long chestnut hair spread out smoothly.
Leaning over and looking down, moist eyes filled with a mix of anticipation and anxiety looked up at me.
Kanata often makes this expression lately. Does she realize it’s practically the same as asking me to eat her up right away?
“Um, Yui-san…”
“Hmm?”
“Are we… going to do it?”
“Yeah.”
I touched my thumb along the contour of her soft lips. Confirming that she didn’t mind, I gently brought my lips to hers.
Back when I was a student, I simply enjoyed having sex with girls.
I didn’t have any particular preferences; as long as she was cute, anyone was fine.
Just embracing a soft body made me feel as though, for that moment alone, my inability to love men, and the wicked feelings I, a woman, harbored toward other women, were somehow forgiven.
But sex like that was nothing more than a painkiller, far from a fundamental solution, just a temporary solace.
I think it was meeting Kanata that taught me it ultimately means nothing if your feelings aren’t connected.
Because I cherish her, I want to touch her.
But what I feel for Kanata isn’t limited to such pure emotions. Just touching her skin makes my reason feel like it’s about to burst into pieces in an instant.
Affection and desire intertwine, burning intensely deep within my chest.
Unlike a man, there is nothing to be satisfied or put away, so desire simply swells and swells without end.
Truthfully, I want to love her on and on until morning comes.
I want her to be so captivated by me that she can’t think of anything else.
Because I irresistibly love that expression of hers when she craves me endlessly.
I want Kanata, and no one else, to accept all of my wicked desires completely.
But even that isn’t enough.
I end up wishing that Kanata would feel for me with the exact same passion.
It’s a luxurious worry, I think. When having our feelings connected alone brings such happiness.
Perhaps when people bask in happy times for too long, their greed knows no bounds.
I strip off her fluffy, cute loungewear along with her underwear, tossing them aside onto the edge of the sofa.
Gently cupping her round white breasts that rise and fall with shallow breaths, I feel the thumping of her heartbeat transmitted to my palm.
Tracing the faint contour of her ribs with my fingertips, she tries to press her round knees together to close her legs, so I grab the backs of her knees and forcefully slide my body between them.
On her eyelids, her cheeks, her neck, I press my lips repeatedly as if clinging to her.
I want her to understand. Just how deeply I love Kanata.
So desperate to touch Kanata that even taking the time to shed my own clothes feels like a waste, I can barely contain myself.
I press the newly groomed middle and ring fingers of my left hand against Kanata’s lips.
“Kanata… Open your mouth.”
Welcomed through the gap of her hesitantly opened lips, the inside of her mouth is warm. Gently stroking her small tongue with my fingertips, the soft sensation feels a bit ticklish.
During sex, Kanata is truly obedient. Even while shy, she ultimately listens to whatever I say.
However, if I push things too far, the backlash afterward is huge. If she genuinely gets sulky, our date plans for the next day might be ruined, so I’ve finally learned recently that moderation is key.
Slowly pulling my fingers out, I lean in to kiss her. While enticing her by intertwining our tongues, I softly extend my saliva-wetted fingers down to her lower body.
Touching her gently, first the middle finger. Then shortly after, the ring finger.
The moment I touch her, I think to myself that having her lick my fingers hadn’t really been necessary after all, but I keep that thought to myself without mentioning it.
Feeling Kanata’s melting warmth as she lets out sweet sighs against my fingertips makes me dizzy.
Unable to resist her white throat arching back, I lightly sink my teeth into her neck.
From her sweat-beaded neck down to her prominent collarbone, I trace my tongue.
Looking at me with tear-filled eyes, Kanata calls my name over and over in a sweet voice impossible to imagine from her usual self.
“Does it hurt? Are you okay?”
“Y-yeah…”
“Nn, good… Does it feel nice?”
From her expression, tone of voice, and the sensation of her tightening around my fingers alone, I don’t actually need to ask to know.
But I want to hear it. Truthfully, I just want her to say it. I just want her to desire me.
Pretending not to know as I gently ask, Kanata shyly confesses in a quiet voice, “It feels good.”
I stroke her trembling, slender abdominal muscles with my right palm.
Having held her so many times, I know, that her limit is right around the corner.
When tears overflow from her eyes and won’t stop, all that’s left for me to do is prepare to be bitten.
Even though I don’t directly feel physical pleasure myself, just touching Kanata feels so good to me. That’s why I can’t stop.
Getting bitten hurts, but I’m far happier that Kanata feels good, so such minor pain isn’t even a bother.
“Yui-sa…n, I… can’t…”
Her tearful eyes plead with me. The way she always lets me know her limit is so cute and endearing I can’t get enough of it.
If I say “not yet,” she admirably tries her best to hold back, and if I say “it’s okay,” I love how she looks at me with relieved, completely melted eyes.
I want to gaze forever and ever at the sight of her that only I get to see. That’s why I want to tell her “not yet,” but since we have a date tomorrow, I’ll refrain from being too mean today.
“Already at your limit?”
When asked, Kanata nods repeatedly.
“…Mm, alright. You can let go now.”
I pull her sweaty body close, hugging her tightly. She sinks her teeth into my shoulder, making me almost groan from the pain, but every time, at this moment, any pain vanishes as my heart overflows with love.
“Maybe I should have you do my nails from now on, Kanata.”
When I suggested this while hugging Kanata from behind in the bathtub, my eyes met hers as she looked back at me reproachfully.
“No way. I’m never doing it again.”
“Ehh, why not? It’s fine, right? I’ll do your nails for you in return.”
“No. Because all you do are naughty things, Yui-san. Even today, you definitely intended this from the very start, didn’t you?”
Pouting her cheeks in protest, Kanata makes me burst out laughing. That’s strange. I thought I didn’t tease her much today, but judging by her reaction, taking care of my nails must have been quite embarrassing for her.
“Does that mean you took care of them knowing I had that in mind? Were you actually hoping for it?”
Teasingly asking her that, she squeezes my left middle and ring fingers together so hard it almost hurts.
“Ow, ow! Kanata, if you squeeze them that hard, they’re going to break.”
“Stop saying things like that and reflect on yourself a little!”
“What if they really break? I might not be able to do it well with my right hand.”
“Is that what you’re worried about!? Geez, you really are only thinking about perverted things! Yui-san, you pervert!”
I know full well she’s just shy and pouting. And I can’t help finding Kanata so terribly, hopelessly cute like this.
“Sorry, sorry. I apologize, so cheer up, okay? I’ll properly do my nails myself from now on. For your sake.”
Kissing her cheek as I said that, my fingers were finally released.
I opened and closed my hand a few times to get the blood flowing back into the fingers she had squeezed almost to numbness.
I stared at my bare, unpainted nails as if inspecting them. The middle and ring fingers that Kanata had carefully groomed felt oddly dear to me.
Still, I don’t think this sort of thing is bad at all.
Even today, despite everything, I’m pretty sure things got plenty exciting.
“…What’s wrong? Did they actually break?”
I smiled at Kanata, who tilted her head worryingly.
“…Hey, Kanata. Can I really try using my right hand next time? You know, just in case I injure my left hand or something. It’s important to practice these things, right?”
Seeing right through my ulterior motive, imagining how cute and flustered Kanata might get if I used my right hand, Kanata splashed water right into my face, her face flushing bright red with fury.
That’s weird. I felt like I was being quite serious, though.
But someday, I’m definitely going to try it.
I’m pretty sure Kanata would enjoy it too, though.