Episode 148: The Two of Us (2)

For a little while now, I’ve been clutching the teddy bear keychain in my hand. I feel as though it’s telling me I’m squeezing it too tight and it’s starting to hurt.

Even so, I couldn’t bring myself to let go.

‘Why is Takisawa the one who’s so stiff?’

Endo-san spoke cheerfully, her voice tinged with laughter.

It annoyed me a little, but it also calmed me down a little.

‘Endo, are we really going?’
‘At this stage, there’s no option but to go, is there?’
‘I guess…’

I kept holding her hand as we walked home in silence. In the park we passed on the way, rows of cherry trees were in full bloom, their pink blossoms covering the trees.

I used to hate this time of year, it’s when my birthday falls, and it’s a time of change.

But now, I don’t hate it anymore.

　Endo-san always makes sure to be by my side on my birthday, and when this time of year comes around, I’ve come to be able to look back on the past year and acknowledge how I’ve grown.

Perhaps it’s my favourite season now.

Even though it had finally become my favourite season, I was a little worried that today’s event with Endo-san and my parents might turn it back into a season I dislike.

Walking along with that anxiety weighing on me, I was surprised at how quickly we reached home.

　I hadn’t told my parents anything other than ‘there’s someone I’d like you to meet’. For Endo-san’s sake, I suppose I should have explained about her beforehand.

I took a deep breath, and my nose began to itch slightly. Perhaps I’d inhaled too much pollen.

As I opened the door to my parents’ house for the first time in ages, a flood of emotions welled up within me: nostalgia, a sense of unease, and a fluttering in my chest.

I opened the door and invited her in.

‘I’m home…’

I spoke in a voice so soft that even Endo-san, standing beside me, couldn’t hear it. Then I heard the sound of footsteps pattering towards us from the living room, and I lowered my head.

I was anxious that my return might be an inconvenience to my parents.

‘Sora, welcome home—. We’ve been waiting for you.’

Startled by those words, I looked up to see my mother, with the gentle face I’d seen so often when I was little.

　She was thinner and had more wrinkles than I remembered. Even so, seeing that smile, unchanged from the past, made my chest tighten with a sudden pang of sorrow.

‘My name is Endo Hina. Thank you for having me over today.’

Endo-san spoke politely and slowly, bowing her head. My mother stared at Endo-san with wide eyes, then her expression softened.

‘Come in, Hina-chan. Thank you for coming today. Please come in.’

Reassured by my mother’s attitude, I took off my shoes and headed for the living room.

Sunlight streamed into the living room, making it a little bright. It was a cold day, but the weather was fine.

“Sora, welcome home.”

A deep voice, one I wasn’t used to hearing, echoed in my ears. Being timid, I looked down again and said in a small voice, “I’m home…”

　Endo-san greeted my father in the same way as my mother.

Pushed gently by my mother, Endo-san and I sat down in the chairs opposite my father. Tea was placed before us with a smooth motion, and my mother sat down opposite us just as smoothly.

A silence fell that made the sound of the television seem almost deafening.

Glancing sideways at Endo-san, her expression was her usual self, but the hand resting on her thigh was clenched into a tight fist.

‘So, Hina-chan, that’s it, isn’t it? You’re living with Sora now, aren’t you? Thank you for taking such good care of her.’

I had told my parents that I was living with a girl named Endo Hina. That must be why they recognised the name immediately.

‘Likewise, Sora-san always takes such good care of me.’

She was smiling, but this wasn’t the Endo-san I usually knew.

It was the first time I’d ever seen her so stiff with nerves; it felt a bit novel, yet somehow worrying too.

However, Endo-san seemed to be saying my worries were unnecessary; after giving me a beaming smile, she turned to face my parents.

She took such a deep, obvious breath that I felt everyone except Endo-san had actually held their breath.

“I’m in a relationship with Takisawa Sora. I want to be with her forever.”

Her blunt confession made my heart race and my breathing go haywire.

I was taking shallow breaths, so I started to run out of oxygen and felt my consciousness slipping away.

She’d said she wanted to say hello, but I never imagined she’d be announcing that we were dating.

　Taken aback by this unexpected turn of events, I found myself unable to speak. However, this was no time to be at a loss for words. There were things I needed to worry about more than myself.

My head was spinning, but I managed to keep my wits about me and looked towards my father and mother.

I was terrified of how they would react.

Thoughts of them telling me to stop living with her, or to cut ties with Endo-san, filled my head, and my heart began to race.

　I wanted to run away right then and there.

But, paying no heed to my feelings, Endo-san continued speaking.

‘I’ve come today to ask for Sora’s hand in marriage—’

As soon as she finished speaking, the tension drained from Endo-san’s hands, and her expression softened.

I think she’s truly amazing for being able to say something like that so confidently.

　It’s that sort of thing I respect and admire in her; I want to be like that too.

When I looked straight ahead, both my father and mother had the same look on their faces.
A look as if they were too shocked to say anything.

However, after a while, they both returned to their usual expressions, and a calm atmosphere settled over the room.

My father straightened his posture slightly and looked directly at Endo-san.

　My father has always had a stern look in his eyes, so although his face was serious as he stared straight at Endo-san, there was something about it that felt somewhat frightening, and the anxiety inside me grew and grew.

However, it seems that anxiety was unnecessary.

My father rarely smiles.
It has been that way since I was a child.
He has always been a father of great dignity.

Yet there he was, making a clumsy smile as he looked at Endo-san.

‘I’m not in a position to say anything so presumptuous, but… please look after Sora.’

He bowed deeply, his head remaining lowered for a while. My mother bowed her head in unison.

I could only stare blankly at the scene.

It seemed I was the only one who couldn’t quite keep up; before I knew it, Endo-san and my parents were engaged in light-hearted conversation.

　Endo-san is amazing; she adapts to people instantly and gets on well with anyone.

As I listened to Endo-san and my parents converse, time flew by and it was suddenly evening.

‘We’ve been here a long time. We’d better head home now.’
‘Do come back anytime.’
‘Yes!’

Before leaving, Endo-san went to the loo.

　Once Endo-san was gone, the conversation stopped abruptly, and the silence that had hung in the air earlier spread once more.

‘Sora—’

My father spoke to me in a slightly heavy tone, causing my body to tense up. When I turned to look at him, I saw a small red parcel sitting on the table.

‘Happy birthday—’
‘Eh?’

It was so sudden that I was left speechless.

My mother said, ‘Happy birthday,’ and handed me the parcel. All I could do was stare at it in a daze.

‘Just come round to visit us every now and then. Your mum and I are both here.’

My father said nothing more.

　I must have taken after my father in being tongue-tied and clumsy. Whether I liked it or not, I was made to feel the bond of family, and I realised I was their child.

‘Thank you…’

Just as I was vigorously wiping the tears welling up in my eyes, Endo-san returned and we set off to leave my parents’ house.

‘Hina, I look forward to your continued support.’

My mother said this to Endo-san in a gentle voice. Endo-san replied happily, ‘Yes.’

‘Sora, take care of yourself. If anything happens, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.’

My mother spoke to me in a firm voice this time, so I stood up straight and replied simply, ‘Yes.’

　We left my parents’ house and headed straight for Endo-san’s home.

Later, when I opened the present from my parents, I found a wristwatch inside.

Naturally, that watch keeps ticking without stopping.

It cannot be turned back, nor can it be fast-forwarded.

It continues to tick away, moment by moment.

I had thought that my relationship with my parents would remain frozen forever. But perhaps it has simply been moving forward, little by little, all along, I just hadn’t noticed.

　Even if we do nothing, our family relationships are changing little by little.

I find that both sad and joyful.

No matter what, I suppose we are bound to change.

I want to live each moment to the full, so that when I return here again, I can cherish the relationship we have at that time.

I had come to feel that way.