Episode 46: Winter Arrives (2)

When I rang the doorbell, Endo-san looked at me with a puzzled expression.

‘Are you staying the night too, Takizawa?’
‘I’ve come to keep an eye on Hikari-san.’

Without even looking at Endo-san, I strode straight inside. I hadn’t done anything wrong, so I didn’t like the way she was giving me that ‘what’s this all about?’ look. I’d simply come to keep an eye on Hikari-san.

　Endo-san had already cooked dinner, and the house was filled with a delicious aroma.

‘Are there any foods Hikari-san doesn’t like?’
‘I don’t have any allergies or foods I dislike!’
‘That’s good. I’ve made twice-cooked pork, so please help yourself.’

Endo-san looks just like she does at school. With Hikari-san here, she must be putting on a front without realising it.

I don’t like being treated that way when I’m here. I don’t like it, but I don’t want anyone else to see Endo-san’s genuine expression.

My thoughts are contradictory.
I wonder when I started thinking so much about Endo-san’s expressions…

With those thoughts in mind, I bring a mouthful of twice-cooked pork to my lips.

It’s delicious…

They often say that once someone has won your heart through your stomach, it’s all over, but I feel as though Endo-san’s cooking won my heart long ago.
　I wonder if Hikari-san will become a captive of Endo-san’s cooking too.

‘Wow, this is delicious!’

Hikari-san is tucking into Endo-san’s twice-cooked pork with gusto, and as it looks like there won’t be any left for me, I try to keep up by eating just as eagerly, only to choke.

‘Takizawa, are you alright?’

Endo-san rubs my back gently, looking concerned.

　It’s all Hikari’s fault. She’s gobbling up Endo-san’s delicious food so quickly that I got all flustered. Even as I’m thinking that, Endo-san’s dish is disappearing before my eyes.

‘But Mayo’s cooking is just as good, you know.’

Since Hikari lives with Mayo-nee, it’s only natural she eats the food Mayo-nee makes. I’ve never actually eaten my sister’s cooking; I thought I’d quite like to try a bit.

　People are free to think whoever’s cooking is delicious, but if that’s the case, I feel a little irritated that she’s eating so much of Endo-san’s food.

When I look at Endo-san, she opens her mouth with her usual beaming smile.

‘Hikari-san, you’re staying over tomorrow too, aren’t you? Please do bring Mayo-san along as well,’ she says, uttering something completely baffling.

Her face is smiling, but her voice isn’t.

Of course it isn’t. Of course she’d hate it if someone talked about someone else’s cooking being better than hers.

‘Eh! If Hina-chan’s up for it, then fine! I’ll get in touch!’

Hikari-san seems delighted.
I’m not enjoying this at all.
I’ve got nothing but a bad feeling about this.

I can’t very well be the only one not going, so it’s been decided that the four of us will stay over tomorrow. Just thinking about tomorrow makes my head start to throb, and I feel gloomy at the thought of it arriving.

　Once we’d finished eating and tidied up, Hikari suddenly started hugging Endo-san. I’d been noticing it for a while, but perhaps because we were at home, Endo-san had unbuttoned her pyjamas, leaving her chest barely covered. Hikari, who isn’t particularly tall, fit her head right there.

My heart was pounding, and it hurt every time I moved.

‘Thanks for today, Hina-chan! You smell really lovely. What shampoo do you use?’

Saying that, she sniffed Endo-san’s hair. ‘Oh, really?’ Endo-san said, staying just as she was.

　…………

My body moved without my realising it.
I think I was gripping Hikari-san’s arm quite tightly. At that, Hikari-san looked taken aback and opened her mouth.

‘Hoshizora-chan, do you want to hug me like this?’

‘That’s exactly what I mean.’

Saying ‘How cute,’ Hikari-san threw her arms around me.

The thought that just a moment ago this tiny body had been pressed against Endo-san’s made me feel a little queasy, but as soon as Hikari-san nestled into me, that feeling gradually subsided.

When I pressed myself against Endo-san, I could feel the parts touching growing hot, yet when Hikari-san clung to me, I felt nothing.

However, I couldn’t quite forgive Hikari-san for burying her face in Endo-san’s body, so I wrapped my arms tightly around her.

‘Hoshizora-chan, you’re squeezing me too tight!’

I lifted the small, light-weight Hikari-san up in one swift motion and carried her into the bathroom.

‘Endo-san, you’d already taken a bath, hadn’t you? Is it alright if I give Hikari-san a bath?’

‘Yeah…’

Endo-san’s voice sounded a little darker and less cheerful than usual.
Leaving Endo-san behind in the living room, Hikari-san went straight into the bath, behaving herself.

　I was left alone with Endo-san.

“Sorry for rushing you, Endo-san.”

Saying that, I sat down next to Endo-san and our shoulders touched. The shoulder touching Endo-san felt slightly warm.

When I looked at Endo-san, she was smiling and saying, “It’s fine,” but that was the face she showed to Hikari-san; the Endo-san who was usually with me wasn’t there.
My mood soured instantly.

　Between Hikari-san’s behaviour earlier and Endo-san putting on a show even now that we’re alone, I felt utterly exasperated.

I undid the top button of Endo-san’s shirt.

“Takizawa—? We haven’t been studying today, have we?”

I know that.

　What I’m doing right now is something I’m only allowed to do when I’m teaching her, and only with her consent.

‘I’ll do whatever you say later, so just keep quiet for now.’

When I said that, Endo-san went quiet.

I ran my finger along the area just below her collarbone.
Endo-san flinched and moved her body for a moment, reacting to it.

　I’d been trying not to do things like this recently.

But right now, this is the only way I can vent these pent-up emotions onto Endo-san.

I sucked on the spot I’d been touching with my finger.

I hoped it would leave a mark that wouldn’t fade, a strong, lasting one.

The spot where my lips had touched turned a deep red, a clear sign that I’d been there.

I moved downwards and left a similar red mark on her chest.

‘Takizawa… that hurts…’

I suppose it hurt because I bit her.

But right now, even if she hates it, I want her to accept it in silence.

It’s all because of Hikari-san and Mayo-nee.

I’ve seen far too many things I didn’t want to see.

I bite Endo-san’s ear.

Everyone gets on so well with Endo-san straight away and calls her by her first name…

　Endo-san is to blame too.

She gets along with the people around me so quickly, and I’m overcome by anxiety, wondering if she might end up preferring them to me.

Everyone calls her Hina or Hina-chan. I tried to call Endo-san by her first name too, but whenever I try, my heart pounds so loudly I can’t bring myself to say it.

I bite Endo-san’s ear hard once more.

“Ow…”

Endo-san couldn’t bear the pain any longer and pushed me away, trying to get me off her shoulder.

“You idiot, Endo-san.”

I whispered in a voice barely audible, then pulled away from Endo-san.

There were clear marks on Endo-san’s collarbone and chest, and I traced them with my finger. One of her ears was red, probably from where I’d bitten it.

　I took the long, beautiful hair that Hikari-san had been bringing close to her nose a moment ago and pressed it against my own nose.

I’d always thought so, but Endo-san smells of lovely flowers. It makes me feel dizzy when I breathe it in, so I wonder if she’s using some kind of dangerous perfume.

Endo-san turned away and buttoned her coat all the way up.

“—You pervert, Takizawa.”

Having said that, Endo-san—who’s usually so noisy—has gone quiet. I heard a noise coming from the bathroom, and as it was my turn to have a bath, I decided to head there.

I was a bit anxious about leaving Endo-san and Hikari-san alone together, but I figured it would be fine, if Hikari-san did anything to Endo-san, there were still the marks I’d left earlier.

Even though I told myself it would be fine, I felt a sense of urgency, so I just had a quick shower and hurried back up. Endo-san was the only one in the room.

‘Where’s Hikari?’

‘We had a little chat, but she said she was sleepy. Since there’s only one bed in here, I put her to bed in the bedroom over there.’

I felt a little relieved to hear that.

Just as I was feeling relieved, Endo-san approached me with a gentle expression.

‘You’ll catch a cold if you don’t dry your hair, won’t you? Did you get properly warm? You came up quickly, though. Shall I dry your hair for you?’

　Endo-san stroked my head through the towel.

‘Dry it for me.’

‘—Sure. Come over here.’

Endo-san sat on the bed and I leaned against her as she dried my hair.

Endo-san’s hands were gentle.

Even though she was just drying my hair, I was getting sleepy.

Perhaps I’d let my guard down now that Hikari-san was gone; drowsiness came over me all at once.

　I looked for my duvet, but unlike last time, mine hadn’t been laid out.

“You said earlier you’d do anything I asked, didn’t you?”
“——Yeah.”
“I want you to sleep with me.”

It was true I’d said that in the heat of the moment, but I hadn’t expected her to make such a request.
The drowsiness that should have been there vanished somewhere, leaving only the sound of my heartbeat.

I’ll just keep my promise.

I got into bed with Endo-san.

　I lay down on my back, and Endo-san took my hand.

‘Why are you holding my hand?’

‘We did all sorts of things just now, so you can at least let me do this much.’

True, I might have done some pretty terrible things, but that’s no reason for her to hold my hand.

Endo-san’s buttons are fastened, so the red marks aren’t visible.
Endo-san lay down beside me, pressed herself against me, wrapping herself tightly around my right arm. It’s like my heart has migrated to my right arm — pounding away loudly.

Endo’s body is pressing against me.
Her soft chest is pressing against me.

I can’t sleep…

I could hear Endo breathing in her sleep.

It was the same before.

Endo always falls asleep like that as soon as she feels safe.

She falls asleep, leaving me behind.

I let out a sigh and began counting sheep.