Episode 8: Hesitation
That afternoon, after the last bell, I sat alone at my desk.
I’d made my decision — to keep some distance from Honoka — but my heart wouldn’t settle. I kept unlocking my phone over and over, checking for messages that never came.
— I wonder what Honoka’s doing right now.
The harder I tried not to think about it, the more completely she filled my head.
It was then that I felt someone settle into the seat beside me.
“Are you on your own, Nanase-san?”
A composed voice reached my ear. I looked up. It was Shiori.
“…Shiori?”
Shiori smiled and lowered herself into the seat next to mine.
“So you’ve decided to keep some distance from Shiraishi-san.”
“…Yeah.”
Shiori’s eyes searched mine, as if reading something in the depths of them.
“I think that’s a good call. It’s probably better for both of you than clinging on by force, don’t you think?”
“…Was I clinging on by force?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. But… at the very least, I think Shiraishi-san was finding it a little suffocating.”
The words pressed against my chest.
“And I think you deserve to feel easier in yourself too, Nanase-san.”
“…Easier?”
“Yeah. Fixating on someone you love isn’t wrong in itself. But if it’s making you suffer — it might be worth thinking about a different way.”
Shiori’s hand came to rest gently on mine.
“You’re allowed to be freer than this, Nanase-san. You don’t have to tie yourself to any one person.”
Something inside me tilted.
“…But I — Honoka is—”
“Of course I know Shiraishi-san matters to you. But take care of yourself just as much, okay?”
Shiori’s words were strange — uncommonly gentle, and yet somehow they clung, sweet and creeping—
“If things ever get to be too much… you can always lean on me.”
Shiori’s fingers traced lightly along my hand.
The feeling of them seemed to reach somewhere deep inside me, and I found myself catching my breath.
“Shiori…”
When I said her name, she smiled, soft and warm.
“I’m on your side, Nanase-san.”
Those words seeped quietly into somewhere deep in my chest.
— Is this really okay?
In my head, I could almost believe Shiori might be right. But my heart said something different.
When I thought of Honoka, the loneliness wouldn’t leave me.
“…Thank you.”
Even so, that was all I could manage.
Shiori’s hand shifted, fingers curling gently around mine. It was the first time I’d ever been so aware of someone else’s warmth — someone who wasn’t Honoka.
“Hey, Nanase-san. Just for a little while… why don’t you try forgetting about Shiraishi-san?”
“…What?”
“Just for now. Will you try thinking about something other than Shiraishi-san — with me?”
Shiori’s voice was barely a whisper, and it echoed somewhere deep in my ear.
I couldn’t find an answer. I just sat there, feeling the warmth of her fingertips.