Episode Five: Irritation ―July 2032―
Kakei-sensei’s lectures were invariably treated as everyone’s breather time. Today’s class was no different, with most students either nodding off or fiddling with their smartphones.
I hadn’t realised until I had one-to-one tutoring sessions, but the notebook she uses during lessons is densely filled with handwritten notes. You can see meticulous preparation, as if she’s constantly researching how to help us understand better.
I now know she always strives for clear lessons and never neglects her preparation. Even if this is just routine for her, to me it was unbelievable, or rather, it made me feel profoundly humbled. I also felt sorry for having listened to her lessons so half-heartedly until now.
So if everyone just listened properly, their grades would improve too. Getting through this with decent marks isn’t just down to their own ability, is it? The clarity of her lessons helps too, doesn’t it?
…And there I was, completely adopting the teacher’s guardian perspective. I’m surprised myself at how much my mindset has changed. Not long ago, I was just like everyone else.
The lesson proceeded smoothly enough, but as we approached the latter half, the atmosphere shifted. Someone asked a question about the lesson, and then it gradually veered off track. I watched the teacher, who seemed unable to skilfully return the ball of seemingly trivial conversation thrown at them, with a rather unpleasant feeling.
“What do you do on your days off, Kakei-san?”
“I have no intention of discussing matters unrelated to the lesson.”
“Blimey, you’re cold, sensei. I just wanted to know as a student, but now I’m hurt.”
That joker. Don’t mess about. Don’t pry into the teacher’s private life just because you want to kill a bit of lesson time.
“Don’t you have a boyfriend or anything, sensei?”
Another boy asked. The tone was clearly teasing. I was aware of my own discomfort.
How selfish of me. I’d asked the same question during extra lessons myself.
I didn’t want anyone else to hear about the teacher’s love life. I wanted it to be a secret just between me and the teacher. Even as I recognised this childish feeling sprouting, I refused to admit it, just left with this irritation I couldn’t control.
“Please stop it. I—”
“Hey. Stop asking questions like a brat.”
I’d described it as feeling restless, but the idea of suppressing it within myself, or even the capacity to do so, was entirely beyond me.
When I voiced my anger without hiding it, my classmates looked at me in surprise, and the classroom fell silent for a moment. The gaze that had been fixed on the teacher now focused on me.
“Meisa, you’re being serious today.”
The class clown grinned as he brought up the topic. Annoying, I thought, but for now, I had no choice but to engage.
“Well, I’m sick of remedial lessons.”
“Come to think of it, Meisa’s in the remedial group, right? Huh? Who else’s in it?”
“You know the answer, don’t you? Just me, right?”
The classroom erupted in laughter. I’m not usually this kind of person, but I had to do it to draw the spotlight onto myself.
“So, sensei, could you please get on with the lesson?”
“Ah, yes. Understood. Now then, next…”
After the lesson resumed, our eyes met just once.
But it felt somehow embarrassing, and I looked away.
☆
Lunchtime. As I ate my packed lunch with Suzuka, she asked me about the language and culture class earlier, just as I’d expected.
“Hey, Meisa. Why did you defend Kakei-san?”
“I told you, I just hate extra lessons. It wasn’t like I was defending her or anything.”
“Hmm, I see.”
Ryōka didn’t say anything more. Taking advantage of her response – whether it was kindness or just being thick-skinned, I couldn’t tell – I kept quiet too.
Ryōka is lively and cheerful, a real mood-maker at school. She’s straightforward, or rather, she says whatever’s on her mind, which sometimes makes her a bit of a troublemaker. But she’s approachable and genuinely cute, so she’s got a handsome, kind boyfriend.
“Those earrings, did you buy them matching with Fuwa? They look great on you.”
Ryōka’s face lit up instantly.
“Right? I picked them out with Sōma-kun ♡”
When she talks about her boyfriend, Ryōka seems even cuter. Every time I hear phrases like ‘women glow when they’re in love’ online or on TV, I tend to react rather sceptically, but seeing Ryōka makes it seem more believable. She could probably be an ambassador for some brand and it’d work.
Just as I was thinking that, a low voice called, “Ryōka,” and we both looked up simultaneously.
“Thanks for the textbook. Saved me.”
Speak of the devil. Ryōka’s boyfriend, Fuwa Sōma, had come to return her English textbook.
“You’re welcome. What should I make you treat me to on our next date? I’ve got my eye on that Pior body cream.”
“That’s a steep rental fee. But your birthday’s coming up soon, so I’ll think about it.”
Ryōka and Fuwa had hit it off almost immediately after starting school. Even a year into their relationship, they remained the school’s famously affectionate couple. Despite me being right there, they started leaning into each other and getting cosy. It was nothing new, so I paid it no mind, popping a piece of tamagoyaki into my mouth and chewing.
Fuwa, who’d been smiling softly at Ryōka, turned serious the moment he saw me.
“…Uehara, how’s it going lately? Still being pestered by Kōu?”
“Ah, yeah. He ambushed me again the other day when I was heading to extra lessons.”
“I see… I’ve been telling him to stop. I’ll have another word with him myself.”
“Thanks. He never listens to a word I say, so this really helps.”
Fuwa listened to me and Suzuka talk about the mess after I broke up with Wataru, offering advice and frank opinions from a guy’s perspective. Not only that, but he’d even call Wataru out on his behaviour from a fellow guy’s standpoint and give him warnings. He’s a really decent bloke.
Even though he has a girlfriend named Suzuka, the reason Fuwa still gets girls squealing over him and being popular is precisely because of this sort of thing.
“Sōma-kun, you’re still so kind! I love that about you too!”
Ryōka took Fuwa’s hand, and he smiled, squeezing hers back. To an outsider, it looked like the perfectly ordinary, happy affection between lovers. I’d tried that kind of thing with Kōu and other boyfriends I’d dated in the past… but I never felt that sense of happiness.
“I do hope Meisa finds a boyfriend she can fall head over heels for soon.”
She said it so casually, but I doubt Ryōka could possibly understand just how difficult that is for me.
I always want to see the world my dazzlingly radiant friend sees. I do wish I could experience that ‘other side’, but it remains just a wish. I don’t think I could ever like someone as much as Ryōka does.
It’s fine for now. But what if I never fall for anyone, right up until I’m an old woman?
While everyone else gets married, has children, and is surrounded by grandchildren, will I be battling presbyopia and staring at my phone all day?
“What’s up, Meisa? You look spaced out.”
“…Just thinking about my old age.”
“That’s not a high school girl’s problem!”
We were talking about love and happiness, weren’t we? How did it come to this?