Episode 4: The Best Choice
Something I couldn’t put into words was seeping up from somewhere deep inside me.
— What is Shiori even trying to say?
“…If I ease up, Honoka will feel more at ease?”
My voice came out hoarse. Shiori nodded slowly.
“Yeah. At least, I think it would take some of the weight off her.”
I dropped my gaze. Honoka’s face rose in my mind.
Yesterday after school. That expression — troubled, and yet somehow lonely.
— I never wanted to see that face. I wasn’t supposed to.
“…What am I supposed to do?”
The words slipped out before I could stop them. Weak.
Not like me at all.
But Shiori just smiled gently.
“How about starting small — loosening your grip, just a little?”
“…Loosening it?”
“Right. You don’t have to change everything all at once. But maybe try adjusting the distance between you, little by little, so Shiraishi-san doesn’t feel so hemmed in?”
I bit my lip.
It wasn’t that simple. It couldn’t be.
Because I didn’t want to let go of Honoka.
If I loosened my grip, she might drift away.
“But…”
“You’re scared?”
Shiori’s question caught my breath.
Scared — yes. That was exactly it.
A future where Honoka was gone was something I didn’t even want to think about.
“…I’m scared.”
Shiori looked at me quietly.
Then she reached out, slow and steady, and touched my hand.
Gentle, but with no hesitation in the movement.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to be so anxious.”
Her voice was barely above a whisper, and it was far too kind.
But whatever lay behind it, I couldn’t read.
As if she were looking for a gap in me.
“…Shiori, why do you pay so much attention to me?”
For just a moment, something flickered across Shiori’s face.
Then her smile came back.
“What do you think?”
“…I don’t know.”
I couldn’t answer.
Because I genuinely didn’t understand what she was after.
Shiori held my gaze and let her smile deepen.
“I just want Nanase-san to be happy.”
“Happy?”
“Yeah. I want you to make the best choice for yourself.”
I frowned.
“The best choice… what does that mean?”
“For instance… if being with Shiraishi-san starts to feel like too much, you don’t have to keep clinging to it.”
Shiori’s fingertips traced lightly across my hand.
The touch made my body stiffen for a moment.
“But that’s…”
“I understand that Shiraishi-san matters to you. But you don’t have to be so consumed by it that it breaks you.”
Hearing my name said so plainly unsettled me, just slightly.
“…I’m not going to break.”
“Really? Then why do you look like you’re in so much pain?”
Shiori’s eyes found mine and held them.
I had nothing to say.
“If what you really want is to feel needed by someone… there might be an easier way to get there.”
“…An easier way?”
Shiori smiled.
A smile with room in it, and yet somehow bottomless.
“There are ways to be loved that don’t involve tying yourself in knots over someone.”
“…What are you—”
“The answer is yours to decide.”
Shiori’s hand slipped quietly away from mine.
But the feeling it left behind lingered, strangely long.
My heart had been so full of Honoka — only Honoka — and now something unfamiliar was bleeding into it, like a colour I didn’t have a name for.