Episode 6

It had been about a week since I’d decided to call on Morishita, and the reason I hadn’t was simple: I had no way to approach her.

She’d told me flatly not to talk to her at school, and I’d been thinking for days about what to do.

“I should have asked for her contact details……”
“What’s the matter?”

The very cute girl eating her lunch in front of me was peering at me with concern.

Her name was Sawaguchi Hinata.
My childhood friend.
Yudzuki was also a childhood friend, so the three of us had spent a lot of time together growing up.

“Nothing. Never mind.”
“Really? Anyway, I’m dreading PE next period. Apparently it’s a joint class with A.”
“Is it?”
“That’s unusual — Nanoha not listening to the teacher.”

Hinata was staring at me with wide eyes, chopsticks held between her lips.

She was right, it wasn’t like me at all.

Pull yourself together.

“Sorry.”
“You say sorry, but you’re kind of smiling, aren’t you?”
“What?”

I quickly checked my face in my phone camera.

Of course, what I saw now was a startled expression.
I felt a flush of embarrassment wondering what expression I’d been making a moment ago.

Class A was where Morishita was.
There might be a chance to speak to her — that thought had apparently made me light-headed without my noticing.

I ate my way through today’s bento, assembled from lies as always, and my stomach reached a state of fullness. Full — and yet there was a hollow, gaping feeling somewhere in my chest.

Yesterday’s hideously burnt cabbage that Morishita and I had eaten together had filled me more than this.

I’m an idiot……
One person was throwing my rhythm off entirely.

“Nanoha, do you have a fever? You keep zoning out.”
“Ah — no, I’m fine. Sorry.”

I arranged my face into its usual smile and headed to PE.

Our school’s gymnasium was large enough for two basketball courts side by side — Class A on one half, my class B on the other.

The autumn sports festival was coming up soon, and each class was throwing themselves into practice for their respective events with some intensity.

I glanced casually toward the far court and scanned for Morishita. Looking more intently into the neighbouring court, I eventually found her — standing near the corner, talking to someone.

Unfortunately, her friend was at her side the whole time, so there didn’t seem to be any opening.

The person beside Morishita was Suzuki Ran, if I remembered correctly.

Morishita was fairly tall herself, but Suzuki Ran was even taller. She was in the volleyball club, I was pretty sure.

Even from a distance I could see Morishita talking to Suzuki Ran with a smile on her face.

She doesn’t smile at me like that…….

Morishita always looked at me like I was something not quite human. That fact settled in my chest with a dull weight, and I dragged myself through the PE lesson feeling vaguely miserable.

I was down for volleyball at the sports festival.

Our class’s volleyball team had two actual club members, three reasonably athletic girls, and then me — a team of six. We were considered favourites to win.

Yudzuki, incidentally, was also in the volleyball club. And as if on cue, there she was.

“Nanoha — you’re good at volleyball, so would you consider helping out our club sometime? As a stand-in?”
“Pardon?”
“We’re one short for the junior tournament.”

I felt as though I’d been struck over the head with something blunt.

She apparently intended to put me in just to make up the numbers, regardless of my actual skill.

The casualness of that thinking irritated me.

“I’ll pass, thanks.”
“That’s a shame.”

Yudzuki smiled and moved away.

After that, while everyone was continuing club practice, apparently a student from Class A had approached Yudzuki about a practice match — and everyone got excited about it and it simply began.

The sudden development made my body lock up with nerves.

Don’t hold back the team. Don’t hold back the team — I was already putting pressure on myself before the first ball was served.

When I faced Class A across the net, Morishita was on the other side, with the dead eyes of a fish.

Her expression of absolute zero motivation was so entertaining that I couldn’t concentrate. If I ended up dragging my team down, it would be entirely her fault.

“It’s unusual to see Nanoha laughing like that.”
“Huh?”
“It’s starting.”

Yudzuki said something odd, which only scattered my focus further.

Hinata was cheering from outside the court — do your best—— — and our classmates were watching with expectant eyes.

Can’t mess up.

I wasn’t tall enough for attacking, but I could receive reasonably well from the back line.

Throughout the match I did my best to get incoming balls back up to the setter.

Morishita’s classmate Suzuki Ran was also a volleyball club member, and perhaps partly because of that, the rallies went on far longer than you’d expect from a team scraped together for a festival — it became a genuinely heated match.

And above all——

A sharp crack rang off the ball, and it came flying at speed. I somehow managed to get it up, but the rally didn’t continue.

“That girl is something else. I’d want to recruit her for the club.”

Yudzuki was staring at Morishita with a look of barely contained excitement.

Why does someone that slight hit with so much force — I thought, with some annoyance.

She was using her lean height and high jump to play volleyball with an utterly composed expression. Because I couldn’t handle Morishita’s shots, I was the one holding the team back.

“Sorry, it’s because of me——”
“You’ve been moving plenty, Nanoha. She’s just that good.”

Morishita and Suzuki Ran were doing a high-five together, clearly enjoying themselves. Finding out she had a face like that, too, put me in a thoroughly unpleasant mood.

I’d thought perhaps she and I had some kind of connection — but my existence wasn’t even registering in her eyes.

Morishita, Morishita — I’m an idiot…….

“Nanoha——!!”

All that unnecessary thinking had completely delayed my reaction. The moment I registered a ball coming at my face, a spreading numbness was already blooming across it.

Next came a high, ringing whine in my ears.

I sat down on the floor, hard.

Something hot was trickling down from above my upper lip.

“Does anyone have tissues?!”
“Nanoha-chan, are you okay?”

Classmates’ voices around me.

My head was pounding.
The person next to me was probably Yudzuki.

I don’t want anyone to see me like this any more than they already have…….

A clean, soap-like scent drifted around me, and then something soft pressed against my nose.

When I looked up, the person crouching in front of me was neither Yudzuki nor Hinata nor any of my classmates.

My nose was held steady, and that person took my arm with ease and pulled me to my feet.

“I can do it myself……”
“Then hold this yourself.”

Morishita put her arm around my waist and supported me.

“What are you doing?”
“Taking you to the nurse’s office.”
“I don’t need to go.”
“I was the one who hurt you. I’ll take her to the nurse’s office.”

She announced it to everyone in a clear voice, ignoring what I’d said, and pulled me along with her. Morishita stayed completely silent the whole way to the nurse’s office, but she held me firmly the entire time.

“Oh dear — are you all right?”

The nurse moved quickly, sat me down on the bed, and the handkerchief that had been covering my nose came away.

Deep red blood had gotten onto the white gym uniform too — it looked alarming.

The nurse dealt with my nosebleed efficiently and wiped the blood from my face with clean hands.

“Stay here and rest until the next period.”

Once she’d finished treating me, she stepped out of the room for a moment.

Morishita, for some reason, hadn’t left — but now that she’d seen my treatment through to the end, she appeared to be on her way out.

I didn’t want her to see what I looked like right now. I put on my mask and called out to her.

“Morishita — thank you.”

My classmates had worried about me, but none of them had actually reached out a hand.

As it turned out, Morishita was the only one who had rushed over to my side and actually done something, right there in that humiliating moment.

“I was the one who hurt you. Saying ‘thank you’ to someone for that makes you a bit strange, doesn’t it.”
“You’re the only one, Morishita. The only one who genuinely tried to help.”
“Some people are scared of blood.”
“You’re not scared of it, are you.”
“No.”

Morishita leaned her face close and looked into my eyes. Her dark, light-less eyes looked straight back at me.

“Seeing Fujishiro’s blood — my heart beat faster. I thought to myself again: I really am broken.”

She gave a small, soft laugh — smiling, and yet with no light in those eyes at all. Being looked at by that slightly unhinged gaze, I thought that the part of me finding joy in it was just as broken.

“Morishita…… come to the usual place tomorrow night.”
“Why?”
“I want to return your handkerchief after washing it.”
“I don’t need it. You can throw it away.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
“Don’t just decide things like that on your own. It’s a nuisance.”
“I know it’s a nuisance — but my pride won’t let me leave things as they are when someone’s done something for me.”

I realised I had grabbed the cuff of her sleeve without thinking.
I knew I was being pushy, I knew it was a nuisance — but if I wasn’t a little pushy, I had the feeling the thread between Morishita and me would snap very easily.

I didn’t understand why I was drawn to this person as much as I was. But right now, clinging on desperately felt like the only thing I could do.

“What a trivial kind of pride.”
“I’m someone who can do more or less anything, so I try to carry myself with some degree of pride.”
“People who are good at everything are exactly the type I like least.”

Her hand flicked mine off lightly, and Morishita left the nurse’s office. A sharp pang moved through my chest.

Left alone with nothing to do, I brought the handkerchief back to my nose and breathed in through one nostril.

“It smells like Morishita.”

A plain, uncomplicated scent. Calming, somehow.

Thinking clearly about it, sniffing someone else’s handkerchief is genuinely unhinged…….

Oh well.

I put the bloodstained handkerchief in my pocket and left the nurse’s office.