Episode 103: A Worried Mind

I’ve been worrying constantly for the past few days.

The reason is that Endo-san’s birthday is coming up in a week’s time.

Endo-san celebrated my seventeenth birthday with me. Because she did that, my birthday has become a day I look forward to a little.

It is an undeniable fact that it was the happiest birthday I’ve ever had.

I just want to thank her for that.

　There’s no real point in celebrating Endo-san’s birthday.

A present…

I wonder what Endo-san likes…

Come to think of it, I realised I know absolutely nothing about the things she likes.

Since the school trip ended, the classroom has shifted into full exam mode, and more students are studying seriously.

Looking to my side, I see a girl listening intently.

　If she’d kept quiet, I’d have thought Endo-san was pretty and cute. As I found myself staring at her unconsciously, our eyes met, even though we were in class.

Endo-san hurriedly wrote a note and handed it to me.

‘Was I that cute you couldn’t take your eyes off me??’

When I looked at Endo-san, she was looking back at me with the smile she wears when she’s up to mischief. I felt I had to deny it immediately, so I scribbled a reply.

‘I just thought you looked a bit silly.’

　I gently handed the note back.
Endo-san looked at it and puffed out her cheeks slightly.

Class finished, and Endo-san was asked by the teacher to help carry some homework, so she was assisting with that. The fact that she didn’t refuse is typical of Endo-san, I think.

Thanks to that, I got a chance to talk to Mai on my own.

‘I’ve got something I want to ask you, Mai. When you celebrate a friend’s birthday or something, what should you do? A present, I suppose?’

　Mai and my older sister are pretty much the only people I can talk to about this sort of thing. My sister’s at university and isn’t always around, so I’m really glad Mai’s here for me.

‘If it were me, I’d be happy if we went out together. Whose birthday are you celebrating?’
‘I’m not telling.’

It wasn’t something I needed to hide, but for some reason I ended up keeping it to myself. Seeing me like that, Mai looked even happier than she does when she wins a basketball match.

“Whatever it is, I think the time that person spent thinking about you is the present in itself. I’m just saying something embarrassing, aren’t I?”

I feel like I can understand what Mai is saying to some extent, but before I can fully come to terms with her answer, Endo-san returns.

“Mai looks unbelievably happy, but what were you two talking about?”

I give Mai a look to signal that I don’t want her to mention what we’d just been talking about, and perhaps she got the message because she didn’t say a word.

‘We were talking about life.’
‘That’s definitely a lie.’
‘Yeah.’
‘Tell me!’

Endo-san was practically climbing all over Mai, trying to get her to spill the beans.
It looked just like two dogs rolling around and playing together.

　＊＊＊

After school, I’m supposed to be helping Miumi-chan with her studies.

‘Hoshizora-san, did you enjoy the school trip?’
‘Yes, I did.’
‘How lovely.’
‘You’ll be able to go too when you’re in Year 13, Miumi.’
‘I know, but I did think it would have been nice to be in the same year as you and the others.’

　Miumi said this with her lips slightly pouting.

‘Come to think of it, I heard from Mai.’
‘About us being together?’
“Yes.”
“That’s a bit embarrassing…”
“Are you happy, Miumi?”
“Yes! I’m really happy!”
“I see. Well, I’m glad to hear that. I’m rooting for you both.”

　When I looked at Miumi, her cheeks were slightly flushed and she looked delighted.

　From Mai during the school trip and Miumi standing right in front of me now, it’s clear that the two of them are dating and truly happy.

‘Miumi, is there anything in particular that would make you happy if Mai did it for your birthday?’
‘I suppose going on a date together? I think I’d be really happy if we could go somewhere a bit different from usual, or somewhere far away!’
‘I see. Thank you.’
‘Not at all, I’m glad I could be of help!’

　Miumi threw herself onto her desk with more vigour than usual and resumed her studies.

　In the end, even after talking to Mai and Miumi, I still hadn’t found my answer.

　On my way home after tutoring Miumi, I found myself unconsciously standing in front of Endo-san’s house.

　I reached for the intercom.

　Regretting that I’d come without thinking about what I was going to say, I pulled my hand back just as the front door opened.

　Endo-san stood there in her pyjamas, looking bewildered.

Why does the door always open at the worst possible moment…?

‘Takizawa, what’s the matter? Isn’t today your tutoring day?’

Endo-san walked towards me. Perhaps because I’d come without thinking, or perhaps simply because I’d suddenly run into her, I wasn’t quite sure, but my heart was pounding.

‘I’ve just finished and was on my way home.’

…………

At times like this, for some reason, Endo-san remains silent. Perhaps she knows I have something to say; she never once opens her mouth.

Encouraged by her behaviour, I summoned up my courage and spoke.

‘Endo-san, are you free on the 20th?’
‘This month? I don’t have any plans…?’
“On that day, I’ll go wherever you want to go, so let’s go somewhere.”

　Once I’d said it all, I was too embarrassed to look at Endo-san.

　The 20th of September.

　It’s Endo-san’s birthday.

　No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t figure out how to celebrate it.

　So, I decided that at least on that day, I’d indulge Endo-san’s whims.

“Is that okay?”

　The girl, dressed in her pyjamas, asked timidly.
　I wondered why she was so nervous, but I nodded.

“Right then, I want to go to the aquarium. There’s somewhere I want to pop into on the way back. And, come and stay at my house that night.”

　I’d said I’d go anywhere with her, but that’s a lot to ask. Too much. However, having said I’d go anywhere, I couldn’t very well back out now.

‘Where do you want to stop by?’
‘Every year on that day, there’s someone I want to see, so I go and visit them.’

　Hearing those words, my heart ached sharply.

　Endo-san and I have been in the same class since Year 3 and have spent time together, but I get the feeling she has hardly any friends apart from Mai and me.

　It doesn’t seem like the person she wants to see is a friend.

　If that’s the case, could it be the person she mentioned liking during the school trip?

　Perhaps she’s going to see that person. Even if not, the fact that she goes to see them every year suggests they must be someone very important to her.

What sort of person is important to Endo-san?

I wonder how Endo-san feels about me—

I regretted what I’d said, but it was too late, so I decided to go along with her every whim.

“I’ll look up the location of the aquarium for you.”

　As I turned my back on her to head home, she hugged me from behind.
It lacked her usual strength; she did it in such a slightly feeble way that it threw me off balance.

‘I’m looking forward to it…’

Her voice trembled slightly.
Endo-san is acting strangely today. I don’t know what she’s so afraid of.

I simply replied, ‘Right,’ and Endo-san let go. I went home without looking back.