Episode 90: I won’t get angry. No matter what Kanata says

Yui’s bathtub is spacious.

Even with two people in it, there’s still room to stretch out.
When I first came to this house, the thing that surprised me most was the size of the bath.
Back when I always bathed alone, I didn’t really appreciate how wonderful this bathtub’s size was, but when I bathed with Yui at my flat, I finally understood.

A spacious bath is truly marvellous.

　After barging into Yui’s place on impulse, sharing each other’s warmth on the sofa in the heated living room before we even made it to the bed.

　It felt like a lie that we’d been so cold just moments before. Before we knew it, we were both drenched in sweat. We hadn’t eaten dinner yet, but we desperately needed to wash off the sweat first, so the bath took priority.
I reckon it’s all Yui’s fault for not turning down the heating when I said I was hot.

My stomach was rumbling, but not unbearably so. I decided to let Yui deal with this hunger after we got out of the bath.

　The warmth radiating from her close-pressed back and the arms pulling me tightly against her felt wonderfully comforting.

Whether it’s the bed, the sofa, or the bath, whenever we’re at home, Yui always wants to hold me like this.

She’s always been the type to crave physical contact, and that hasn’t changed since our student days. Somehow, it’s just become the norm, and now I feel unsettled if she doesn’t do it.

　As I scooped up the fluffy, whipped-cream-like foam with both hands to play, her soft lips gently touched the vulnerable nape of my neck, exposed because my hair was tied up.
Startled, I jerked upright.
“Whoa! Yui, stop teasing me, won’t you? That tickles.”

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just… your nape is so beautiful. It kind of… gets to me.”

Even after we’d sought each other out so passionately on the sofa just now, was she still unsatisfied?
Whether she was teasing or serious, Yui-san was still impossible to read.
If she fancied my body, which wasn’t particularly alluring… well, that did make me feel rather pleased, I suppose.

“…You’re such a lecher, Yui-san.”

To hide my embarrassment, I gently pinched her long fingers wrapped around my waist, scolding her just a little.
Not that I mind, but that sort of mischief is bad for the heart.

“I didn’t do it with any ulterior motives, you know?”

“Really? You seem rather suspicious.”

“Honestly. But if Kanata begs me for one more time, I’d keep going as many times as she wants.”

“…See? There is an ulterior motive after all.”

Even after working all day, Yui-san really has stamina, unlike me.
If I asked, she’d probably give me anything without limit, and while that is incredibly gratifying…
I won’t be asking for ‘one more time’ today.
I’ve never once felt unsatisfied. I always feel more than enough love.

　The mental weariness that meeting Kitakami-san had caused had completely vanished.

It’s strange how just being held by the person I love makes my heart recharge so rapidly.
For this person, I feel like I could literally do anything.

Looking back, I saw those dark eyes gently narrowing, so I wrapped my arms around her neck from the front and clung to her, almost like a child seeking comfort.

　The warmth of her skin, warmed by the bath, pressed against mine. It felt so reassuring, as if we might simply melt together.
I came to Yui-san today driven solely by this desire to be close like this.

I have work tomorrow, but I can just get up a bit earlier, go back to my flat, and head to the office from there.
Tomorrow’s troubles, tomorrow’s me will deal with.
More than that, today, I desperately needed her to hold me.

　Besides, there was something I had to tell Yui-san. About Kitakami-san.

I’d done everything I could. There was no need to stay silent any longer.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Kitakami-san isn’t the sort of topic for such a romantic day.
So I had to tell her today.

Steeling myself, I opened my lips.

“…Yui-san, I need to tell you something.”

“Hmm?”

I felt the warmth of her palm gently stroking my back.

“I have something I need to apologise to you for. From now on… whatever I say, will you listen without getting angry?”

I thought I’d better get that out of the way first. When I said it, she tilted her head, looking puzzled.

Somehow, I’d been thinking Yui probably wouldn’t think too highly of me keeping quiet about it.
I never had any intention of hiding it forever, but I’d been unsure about the right moment to tell her.
And I reckon now is probably the best time.

Yui blinked several times and looked at me.

“…Hmm, telling me beforehand means it’s something I’d get angry about?”

　Quick to pick up on things, she didn’t answer my question directly, asking that instead.

“…Probably.”

She probably wouldn’t get seriously angry, but I had a feeling I’d get told off.

“Did you do it knowing I might get angry?”

I nodded quietly.

Honestly, I’d agonised over whether to tell her straight away. But I wanted to handle it myself. I hated always relying on her.
I wanted to believe that even if I couldn’t do things at twenty, I could do them now at twenty-four.

I adore Yui-san for spoiling me. But… I don’t think it’s enough to just be protected.

When it really matters, I wanted to be someone who could fight for you. I don’t want to stay a coward forever.
I want Yui-san to know that this is my way of loving her. Though I still don’t know if I, being so tongue-tied, can express it properly.

Those dark eyes, watching me as if gauging my state, were very calm.

“…Is that for my sake?”

Her tone was gentle, like she was gently admonishing a child. When I nodded again softly, I felt the strength in her arms tighten around me.

“I understand. In that case… I won’t get angry. No matter what you say, Kanata.”

　Yui-san smiled softly.

—I’m glad you said that. I pressed my cheek against her neck, almost clinging to her.

“…Actually, since last week, I’ve been called out by Kitakami-san twice and met him. I’m sorry I kept it from you.”

“Eh?”

Yui-san stiffened as if something had clicked. Just as I’d imagined she’d react. I could feel her body pressed against me stiffen ever so slightly.

“…Why? Why are you seeing Shinji?”

She must have a thousand questions, but having promised not to get angry, Yui-san spoke calmly, though her voice was lower and a touch sharper than usual.
Knowing how sharp she is, she must be picturing every possible worst-case scenario.

“Kitakami-san, he’s noticed the relationship between me and Yui-san. He told me to stay away from her… saying he’d recommend me for the secretarial office at the Holding company.”

When I stared at her, her eyes wavered for a moment, looking uneasy. Realising that she, who never showed weakness, was unsettled, my chest tightened.

“So, Kanata… what did you say?”

Of course, I wouldn’t bow to such threats.
Yui-san seemed to be gauging my reaction, looking slightly frightened.

No matter what she said, I would never leave Yui-san. Please believe me—
Wanting her to feel that conviction, I took her left hand and squeezed it tightly.
Just as she always did when she wanted to tell me something.

“…I declined. Kitakami-san didn’t seem satisfied, though. But there’s no proof Yui-san and I are dating, right?”

Saying this with a laugh, Yui-san’s stiff expression softened with relief.
Holding her tightly, I embraced her back, accepting that feeling.

“…I’m sorry, Kanata. I’ve made you feel bad because of me. I never imagined Shinji would act like that… I was naive. I’m truly sorry.”

Our bodies pressed tightly together meant I couldn’t see her face. But I thought I detected a slight tremor in her voice. I gently stroked her smooth back, her slightly protruding shoulder blades, hoping it might bring her a little comfort.

　Then she shook her head. It’s alright.

“…I’ll be fine. Please don’t say anything to Kitakami-san, just as before.”

“But what if Shinji does something to you again because of that…”

“Spring is almost here. I can wait. You promised your Father you’d get results within three years, didn’t you? It’s only three more months. Let’s see it through to the end. I’ll do everything I can to help, so that Yui-san can stand tall and tell her father she’ll be fine even without Kitakami-san.”

Yui-san had overcome these past three years with considerable resolve.
There must have been painful and difficult times. I didn’t want all that effort to be ruined here.

Yui-san showed a hint of hesitation, but sensing my resolve hadn’t wavered, she gave a single, firm nod.

“…All right. But if anything happens, tell me straight away next time. Please.”

Hearing that, I nodded firmly. It felt as though the foggy unease that had settled in my chest was beginning to clear.

“But I… I was really surprised. After being engaged for eight years, you don’t know anything about Yui-san, do you, Kitakami-san?”

“Eh?”

“He said she was innocent. I couldn’t help wondering who on earth he was talking about. Yui-san is such a little minx, you know.”

Teasingly, I said this, and Yui-san smiled as if all her strength had drained away.

“…It’s only you now, so forgive me.”

Hiding behind the foam, she slid her hand up my thigh, rubbing gently. I flapped my hand hurriedly to stop her, sending water splashing. I glared at her, and Yui laughed like a child caught misbehaving.

Honestly, Yui, you’re relentless.

　After that serious talk, I suddenly felt terribly hungry.

I’d worked hard today, and meeting Kitakami-san had left me utterly exhausted. So, I’d let myself be completely spoilt.

When I said “I’m hungry” in my usual spoilt way, Yui-san smiled happily.

After getting out of the bath and having my hair dried as usual, she’d make something delicious, then we’d drink together and watch a film.

　Tonight, we’ll sleep in each other’s arms. Tomorrow morning, we’ll wake up early and have breakfast together.

Back in my student days, I didn’t properly realise how happy those ordinary days were. But now I understand.

I’ll get those days back, absolutely. I’ll make them ordinary again.

　Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.

It’s bound to be a wonderful day.

I’ve been waiting and waiting, looking forward to the day I could be Santa Claus for Yui-san again.