Episode Ninety: I Won’t Get Angry. Whatever You Say
Yui-san’s bathtub, at her house, is spacious.
Big enough that even with two people in it, there’s still room to stretch your legs out.
The first time I ever visited this house, the size of the bathroom was what surprised me most of all.
Back when I always bathed alone, I never really appreciated how wonderful a tub this size actually was — but the first time I bathed together with Yui-san at my own apartment, I finally understood.
A spacious bath really is something special.
After I’d half-charged straight into her house on impulse, on the heated living room sofa, unable to even make it as far as the bed, we’d shared our warmth with each other.
Afterward, somehow, despite how cold it had been outside, we’d both ended up drenched in sweat before I even noticed, and even though we hadn’t eaten dinner yet, I’d wanted to rinse off first, so we’d prioritized the bath.
This is entirely Yui-san’s fault, for not lowering the heater setting even after I said it was too hot.
I was hungry, but not so much that I couldn’t wait — so I decided that hunger could be dealt with once we got out of the bath, by Yui-san herself.
The warmth traveling from the back pressed against mine, and the arms holding me tight, felt good.
Bed, sofa, bath — wherever we are at home, Yui-san always wants to hold me like this.
She’s always been the type who loves physical affection, and that hasn’t changed since our college days — but somewhere along the way, it’s become second nature to me too, and now I can’t quite settle without it.
Scooping up handfuls of whipped-cream-like foam and playing with it, her soft lips gently touched the back of my neck, left defenseless by my hair being pulled up.
Startled, my spine snapped straight, reflexive.
“Wa—! Yui-san, seriously, stop teasing. That’s ticklish.”
“Sorry, sorry. It’s just, your nape’s so pretty. It really gets to me, somehow.”
Just a while ago, we’d already wanted each other that badly on the sofa — isn’t she satisfied yet?
Whether she’s teasing or genuinely serious, I really can never tell with Yui-san.
If she genuinely likes a body as unremarkable as mine… well, that alone makes me happy, in its own way.
“…Yui-san, pervert.”
Hiding my embarrassment, I pinched the long fingers wrapped around my stomach, lightly, scolding just a little.
Not that I hate it, exactly, but teasing like that is bad for my heart.
“I wasn’t doing it with any ulterior motive, you know?”
“Really? Sounds suspicious.”
“Really. Though, if you asked for one more round, I’d happily give it my all, however many times.”
“…See, there it is, the ulterior motive.”
Even after working a full day, Yui-san, unlike me, genuinely has stamina to spare.
If I wanted it, she’d probably grant it endlessly, without limit — and that is a genuinely happy thing, but.
I’m not asking for one more round today.
I’ve never once felt unsatisfied. I always feel more than enough love, always.
*
Whatever toll meeting Kitagami-san had taken on my nerves had already, fully, restored itself.
Strange, how just being held by someone you love can recharge your heart this fast.
For this person, I feel like I could genuinely do anything at all.
Turning back, meeting those black eyes, narrowed gentle, I looped my arms around her neck from the front, clinging, wanting to be spoiled.
Bare skin, warmed by the bath, pressed close, and I felt such calm from it that I thought I might just dissolve, melting into her entirely.
Wanting to touch like this — that alone had been my whole reason for coming to Yui-san’s tonight.
Work tomorrow too, but I could just wake a little early, swing by my apartment, then head into the office.
I’ll let tomorrow’s me deal with tomorrow.
More than that, tonight, I’d wanted, unbearably, for her to hold me.
And there’s something I need to tell her too — about Kitagami-san.
I’ve done everything I could do. No more reason to stay silent.
Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve. Kitagami-san isn’t something to bring up on a day meant to be romantic.
So I need to tell her today, while I still can.
Steeling myself, I opened my mouth.
“…Yui-san, so, um.”
“Mm?”
I could feel the heat of her palm, gently stroking my back.
“There’s something I need to apologize to you for. From now… whatever I say, could you listen without getting angry?”
Trying to preempt it, I said that first, and she blinked, puzzled, tilting her head.
Somehow, I’d suspected — Yui-san probably wouldn’t take well to me having stayed silent about this.
I never once meant to hide it forever, but I’d been unsure about the right timing to tell her.
And I think, probably, right now really is the best moment for it.
Yui-san blinked at me a few times.
“…Hmm, does saying that ahead of time mean it’s something I’d actually get angry about?”
Perceptive as ever, she didn’t answer my question directly, asking that instead.
“…Probably.”
She probably wouldn’t get genuinely angry, but I have a feeling I’m about to get scolded.
“You knew I might get angry, and did it anyway?”
I nodded, small.
Honestly, I’d genuinely agonized over whether to tell her right away. But I’d wanted to handle it myself. I hated the idea of always just relying on her.
Something twenty-year-old me couldn’t have managed — I wanted to believe that twenty-four-year-old me could manage it now.
I love Yui-san, who spoils me so much. But… I don’t think I can just keep being protected, that alone isn’t enough.
At least when it really matters, I wanted to be someone who could fight for you. I don’t want to stay a coward forever.
I want Yui-san to know that this, too, is my own particular shape of love. Though I’m still not sure whether someone as bad with words as me can actually convey that well.
*
Watching me, gauging, those black eyes stayed remarkably calm.
“…Was that for my sake?”
Her voice carried a tone like gently reasoning with a child. I nodded again, small, and felt the arms holding me tighten.
“Understood. In that case… I won’t get angry. Whatever you say.”
Yui-san smiled, gentle, soft.
—I’m glad she said that. I pressed my cheek against her neck, wanting to be spoiled.
“…Actually, since last week, Kitagami-san’s called me out twice, and I met with him. I’m sorry, for staying silent.”
“Eh.”
Yui-san froze, like something had clicked into place with a sound. Just as I’d expected, that reaction. I could feel her body, pressed close to mine, stiffen, faint.
“…Why would Kitagami-san want to see you?”
There were surely countless things she wanted to ask, but, true to her promise not to get angry, Yui-san stayed composed, though her voice came out a little sharper, lower than usual.
Sharp as she is, she must already be running through the worst possible scenarios.
“Kitagami-san’s figured out our relationship. He told me to leave you. …Said he’d recommend me for a position in the Holdings secretarial office.”
Meeting my eyes, hers flickered, anxious, just for an instant. Realizing this person, who normally never shows weakness, was actually shaken, something deep in my chest tightened, painful.
“And, Kanata… what did you say?”
Of course, there’s no way I’d give in to that kind of threat.
Yui-san, watching for my reaction, looked, somehow, a little afraid.
Whatever he says, I’ll never leave your side. Please, believe that—
Wanting that feeling to reach her, I took her left hand and gripped it tight.
Just like she always does, whenever she’s about to tell me something important.
“…I turned him down. He didn’t seem convinced, but… there’s no proof anywhere that we’re dating, is there?”
Saying that with a small laugh, Yui-san’s tense expression eased, relieved.
Held tight in her arms, I hugged her back, accepting that feeling.
“…Sorry, Kanata. This is my fault, making you go through something awful. I never imagined Shinji would go that far. …I was careless. I’m really sorry.”
Pressed flush together, I couldn’t see her face. But her voice sounded, just slightly, like it was trembling. I gently stroked her smooth back, her faintly protruding shoulder blades, hoping it might ease her, even a little.
Then I shook my head, side to side. It’s fine, I told her.
“…I’m fine, so, please, keep going as before — don’t say anything to Kitagami-san.”
“But if Shinji tries something with you again…”
“Spring’s coming soon. I can wait. You promised your father you’d deliver results within three years, didn’t you? There’s only three months left. Let’s see it through, to the end. So you can tell your father, with your head held high, that you’ll be fine without Kitagami-san — I’ll help you with everything I’ve got, until then.”
Yui-san had pushed through these three years with real, serious resolve.
There must have been painful moments, hard moments, along the way. I didn’t want that effort ruined over something like this.
She looked hesitant for a moment, but sensing my resolve wouldn’t waver, she nodded, once, small.
“…Understood. But, if anything happens, tell me right away next time. Please.”
Told that, I nodded, firm — “yeah.” Something that had been sitting heavy, murky, in my chest finally seemed to clear.
“But, honestly… I was really surprised. Eight years engaged, and Kitagami-san doesn’t know a single thing about you, does he.”
“Eh?”
“He said you were ‘inexperienced.’ I genuinely wondered who he was even talking about. You’re such a pervert, Yui-san.”
Teasing her with that, Yui-san smiled, all the tension draining out of her at once.
“…Right now it’s only you, so let me off the hook.”
Her hand, hidden under the foam, had started stroking up my thigh, and I smacked it away in a hurry, water splashing with a small sound. Glaring at her, Yui-san just laughed, like a kid caught mid-mischief.
Honestly, there’s never a moment of letting my guard down, with this person.
Having had that serious talk, I suddenly found myself hungry.
I’d worked hard today, and meeting Kitagami-san had genuinely worn me out. So, tonight, let’s allow myself to be thoroughly spoiled.
Saying “I’m hungry,” in my usual wheedling tone, Yui-san smiled, happy.
Out of the bath, hair dried as always, something delicious made for us, drinks together, then a movie.
Falling asleep tonight, wrapped in each other’s arms, and waking early tomorrow to eat breakfast together.
Back in college, these were just ordinary, everyday things, and I never really understood, back then, how happy those days truly were. But now, I understand completely.
I’ll get days like that back, without fail. I’ll make them ordinary again, once more.
Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve.
Surely, it’ll be a wonderful day.
Because I’ve been looking forward to it, this whole time — the day I get to be Yui-san’s Santa again.